#HER POV
Hanggang sa makaalis kami sa press conference ay kapwa kami tahimik ni Gabriel. The silence was too loud for us to break. Focus lang siya sa pag d-drive habang ako naman ay nakayuko lang at nilalaro 'yung kamay ko. I was nervous, and I still am. Masiyadong mabigat 'yung lahat ng nangyari. Parang fresh pa rin sa'kin lahat, parang nandoon pa rin ako.. parang kaharap ko pa rin sila. The twins was inviting for a dinner lao na at nalaman nilang kaka-birthday ko lang. Dapat lang daw na lumabas kami to celebrate. Deserve naman daw namin. Lalo na ako.. sa dami ba naman ng nangyayari sa'kin lately.
But I refused to accept the invitation. Thankful naman ako na naalala nila 'yung birthday ko pero sinabi kong pass muna ako at sa susunod nalang. Gabriel refused, too. Though I told him not to refused and just go with the twins. Ayaw niya naman daw na mag-celebrate nang wala ako. Also, the twins said that they understand me, so mag re-sched na lang kami ng celebrataion.
Hindi ko alam kung paano pa 'ko mag sasaya matapos ng nangyari. Hindi pa rin naman kasi nag si-sink-in sa akin lahat. Una, nakita ko ulit 'yung mga taong hindi ko na inakala na makikita ko pa. Pangalawa, nakilala na ako ng buong mundo.. kung sino talaga ako. Para akong isang bomba na sumabog kanina, I just couldn't contain the emotions, what should I feel.. what I shouldn't have. Pangatlo, my mom asked for forgiveness.
Though hindi naman gano'n ka-direct siya lumapit sa'kin para mag-sorry. She just mouthed those words.. she whispered. Parang nahihiya pa siyang sabihin ang mga 'yon, hirap na hirap siya.
But I couldn't care less. I actually don't know what to think or what to feel. Hindi ko alam kung ginawa niya ba 'yon because she was really sorry, or she had no other choice but to say those words para hindi ko ipahiya 'yung anak niya.
Inis akong napapalatak at napabuga ng hangin. Gabriel on the other hand, looked at me and pressed my hands.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I replies and shrugged it off.
"I know I can't just say na 'wag mo na isipin 'yung kanina. But, could you.. at least.. for now? I mean, let's.. let's call it a day. Let's have a dinner."
Kanina pa niya 'ko pinapakalma pero hindi ko magawa-gawang kumalma. He's been telling me something to calm down, halos kwentuhan niya na 'ko ng mga funny stories para lang kahit papaano ay mawala 'yung mga nasa isipan ko.
Naaawa na rin ako sa kaniya. Nasusungitan ko siya. Pero hindi naman dapat. Siya na nga 'tong tumulong sa'kin.
"You've been through a lot. Let me do something to make you happy."
But you've already done everything. Gusto ko sanang sabihin 'yon pero hinayaan ko na lang. Instead, I gave him half smile and squeeze his hand on top of my hand to at least assure him that I'm okay. And I appreciate him. Every single damn thing that he's been doing for me.
***
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you!" Masiglang pag-kanta nung kambal at may kasama pang palakpak.
True to what Gabriel said, hindi talaga nila pinalampas na hindi i-celebrate 'yung birthday ko. Kahit ilang beses ko na sinabing huwag na dahil nasanay naman na 'kong hindi pinag-tutuunan ng pansin 'yon, but still he insisted. Katulong niya pa 'yung kambal sa pag-organize ng birthday party na 'to.
They even bought party hat na may McDo na design. Kasi nasabi ko sa kanilang 7 years old lang ako noong huli akong nakaranas mag-birthday party, and since alam nilang favorite ko ang McDo ay 'yun na ang ginawa nila.
BINABASA MO ANG
Fourth of July
General Fiction"If loving you is a crime, then I'll be your primary suspect." - Gabriel Keilev Coronado.
