Time Of Our Lives; Kirisuna

Chapter 54: Just This Once

Kirito POV:

It's been a week since I visited the bar and I've failed to make any progress in finding Shiro's partner. I even started believing the person I talked to over the phone was a fake and he never had one in the first place.

I scratched my head as I bit into one of Asuna's sandwiches in annoyance. She must've noticed my frustration as she tilted her head at me.

"Is something wrong, Kirito? Is the sandwich bad?" She said.

"Hm? No, the sandwich is as amazing as always."

"Then why do you look annoyed?"

"I do?"

"Your eyebrows are furrowed." She pointed at my eyebrows and I quickly made them settle.

The others worrying about this would be troublesome. But as the only one who knew about the bet, it made it difficult to work alone.

I could use Argo since she was an expert in this area, but I doubted who I could trust at the moment.

"We're in this together, aren't we?" She said.

I glanced at her and did my best to keep a poker face.

"I'm sorry Asuna, but I can't say."

I've always fought alone. To rely on others has rarely gotten me anywhere in the past and when I do need help I usually use them like pawns rather than partners.

"Is it about Shiro?" She said.

I pursed my lips and looked away.

"So it is..."

We looked away from each other in silence.

I didn't hold it against her. This was likely the first time I refused to tell her something since I'd always been open about anything.

I've already told her about Shiro so I hoped she at least understood why I hid it from her. But the guilt tugging at my heart proved otherwise.

"The reason why you're keeping it from me and the others... is because you want to keep us safe, right? You want to take this on by yourself." 

Asuna broke the silence as she placed her hand over mine.

"I don't know what's going through your head right now, but if you have no one to support you, you'll break somewhere down the line. So, please, Kirito..."

I looked down at the ground from where we sat. Asuna was right. Even Shiro's changed his tactics and has someone who he can count on now. 

I've changed from who I was in the past so I needed to change the way I did things as well. However...

"I'm sorry, Asuna, but I need to do this on my own."

I may have changed, but putting others in danger would only drive me to take drastic measures.

Just this once.

I told myself as I rose from my seat and left before Asuna could reach out to me.

Just this once let me do this by myself.

I refused to look back at Asuna because if I did... I knew I'd ask her for help.

Since I abruptly left, I was unable to finish my lunch and was left with a grumbling stomach.

Returning now would only be awkward so I made my way to the cafeteria to search for food... edible enough for me to eat.

Honestly, I've often wondered why they had one in the first place with the food they served. In addition, I knew a few students who actually liked it. They must've been from another world.