Only Us (Justin Fields)

|16| Stay

Justin

It was late. Probably around 2 am. Jillian had been over at my place since 4 pm as she made us dinner and I put on a few movies for her to see. She hasn't seen a bunch of the classics and I am a man of culture so I had to show her a thing or two. I know she doesn't sleep a lot so I didn't mind her staying late. At least I could keep her company instead of her rotting away alone in her apartment. Before I knew it she was knocked out on my couch.

So I lay her down and cover her with a blanket. I am sure she doesn't want to spend the night, scared of what people might think. Then again I never understand what scares her, I'm sure there is a good reason. But I know she doesn't sleep much so I wasn't going to wake her yet. She needed the rest.

I clean the dishes I've accumulated over the past few days and put them away. After brushing my teeth and washing up I return to the living room. She was still passed out so I sit on the floor in front of her. It was as still as it ever was in my place. I watch her sleep for a few moments before smiling to myself. My hand reaches out to cup her face. My thumb softly caressing her cheek. Her skin was so smooth, so warm.

She was beautiful in a conventional sense. Cute button nose and soft brown skin. Her lips always pink and always plump. Not a blemish in sight with naturally long eyelashes and long black curly hair. It didn't take a detective to find her beauty.

But what I admired most was her eyes. The way she never misses a single detail. I could get lost in them for years never wanting out. There's moments when our eyes meet and it's like we weren't even on the same planet sometimes. I know she has seen some shit, shit I couldn't imagine. But when she looks at me I don't feel any of it. Just her.

She starts to stir and I knew she was about to get up. So I let go of her face and watch her eyes flutter open. Once she comes to she sits up quickly.

"Oh my god I am so sorry" she starts as she frantically looks around my apartment.

"Jill it's fine. You fell asleep for about an hour. It's not a big deal" I assure her.

"I can't believe I fell asleep" she huffs. I know she doesn't sleep well, she didn't need to tell me for me to know. And yet she still told me how she struggles with sleep. So the fact she felt well enough to sleep here... I wasn't going to disturb that.

"Maybe you're comfortable enough with me to let your guard down" I suggest.

Her eyes grow big and from the look on her face I knew that was not how I should have worded that

"Lilly" I try.

"I'm sorry. I have to go" she says frantically collecting her things.

"It's late, you should stay. No one should be on campus alone at this time of night" I insist. Cause even if I walk her home I don't want to be alone on the way back either.

"I can't stay here" she tries.

"I don't mind. My roommate is out for the weekend to go home. I would sleep better knowing you're safe" I defend.

"You don't get it" she accuses.

"What don't I get" I try.

"This" she says looking around, "I can't do this. Justin I don't want to be a burden and I know you say I'm not. I know deep down that you want me to stay. But I can't" she whispers.