Only Us (Justin Fields)

|44| Everything

Justin

With the school and football season on the horizon I kiss what little free time I had goodbye. It was time for books and football. For the longest time that's all I wanted to do. I loved school and I loved the game, what more could I ask for? I know I had it more than made for me here. There wasn't really much I had to do outside of the field so long as I took care of business on it.

But would it be selfish to say that for the first time I want more? What that is specifically I'm not sure. I just want it with her.

"You are seriously taking sign language just so we would be in the same class? Doesn't that seem a bit much" Jillian ponders.

"Maybe. But it would still be fun. Plus we can communicate during games when I'm on the field and you're in the stands. Even though I can't use my voice to tell you things I can still tell you things" I try.

"Shouldn't you be focused on the game" she teases.

"Yeah. Like I can focus with you there" I roll my eyes.

"Is this your way of asking me to come to your games" she questions.

"Wait. I haven't asked you already" I asked sheepishly.

"Nope" she replied. Of course she would be too nice to give me shit about it but I still feel bad.

"Well I have tickets and passes for you for every single home game. You don't have to come of course. I would never want you to do something you're not comfortable with just to watch me play. But whenever you can I would like it if you were there" I say.

"I'll be there for every game" she promises and I perk up.

"Really" I squeal.

"Of course. I owe you everything. And even if I didn't I still want to be there for you. Football is important to you, you're important to me. That's all I need to know" she explains.

"How important" I ask.

"Excuse me" she wonders.

"How important to you am I" I try.

Her eyebrows narrow as she looks at me. "That's a dangerous question" she warns.

"I know" I sigh. "But... I need to know."

"Why do you need to know" she counters.

"Because I want to know everything about you Lilly, this included" I insist.

She shakes her head as she throws her backpack on. We had been hanging out at my place for a few hours but she needed her alone time. That much I know. But I couldn't let her leave without asking.

"Justin you mean everything to me. Every sunset, every star in the sky, every good day and bad day is you. It's all you, only you. I know I didn't want to live, but I don't think I wanted to die either. I wanted to exist somewhere in between where I wasn't a part of this world but I could still cheer it on. That was never something I was capable of.

Then you came around and you were my in between. Through you I can see the world as a better place. Through you I can see a difference. And I don't have to make waves, instead I get to stay by your side staying dry. I see the parts of me I want to be in you. Every moment I spend with you is a day I am thankful I didn't jump.

You ask what you mean to me but it's not that simple. But if I had to sum it up, I would say everything" she explains.

Now it was my turn to blush. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that. Up until this point I wasn't sure how she felt. And this wasn't the tell all answer. I know there is more to her than words could ever say. But I do love learning about her. And I know that my feelings for her grow every day. As much as she wants to be with me, I want to be with her as well.

"Now I feel awful for not formally asking you to come to my games. I have to be an awful friend" I shake my head.

"Not at all. You expected me to be there for you and I want to do that. It's unspoken but it doesn't mean it's not true" she claims.

"I guess so. But I'll make it up to you somehow" I promise.

"There's nothing to make up for" she tries.

"I'll find something" I smile.

I send her on her way and clean up after we shared lunch together and watched a movie. There was still so many things I wanted to show her, I've only scratched the surface. But I can spend my whole life showing her the world, and I was.

It comes time for practice under the lights so I head to the practice field. I change and suit up before. Jogging out there. As I warm up a feel a presence, and it wasn't a welcomed one.

"What do you want Ryan" I ask.

"You didn't even look up! How did you know it was me" he questions.

"I felt the collective IQ of the group drop and I assumed it was you" I mumble.

"Why are you so mean to me? I didn't do anything to you" he tries. I shoot him a glare causing him to smirk. "You're not still mad about that Valentine's Day thing are you?"

I roll my eyes because that's just one of the many things I cannot stand about this man. He's my teammate, and my brother, but that doesn't mean he is without flaw. He has so many flaws. But at the end of the day he's still my brother.

"That's in the past, I'm not worried about it. I am however worried about what you might say in the future" I confess.

"You still hang out with her" he gasps.

"Every chance I get" I assure him.

"And you still haven't put a move on her" he asks.

"Believe it or not, if girls don't show interest they don't like you forcing your feelings on them" I say.

"Really" he questions.

I should have known...

"And like I said before it's complicated. Something I know you will never understand" I insist.

"I don't. Because she... she's hot. And you are also hot. And you guys like each other and I might not understand what you guys are or what you do I know you guys can't live without each other. It's like you guys need each other as much as you need water. Creepy at times but you guys are happiest when you're together. Why not just be together" he questions.

"Awh. That was almost sweet" I tease.

"Whatever. Let me know when you guys finally fuck and you'll finally be interesting" he says walking away.

This is going to be a LONG season.