Only Us (Justin Fields)

|26| Don't Need Answers

Jillian

I finally get released from the hospital and get to rest at my apartment for the end of my quarantine period. I hate to admit it but I missed that drab little place. Plus I was getting worried about the flowers I had planted. I was trying so hard to make them last but now I'm not so sure. Sometimes all it takes is missing one watering cycle to kill a plant. It seems so little but can change so much.

Justin helps me up to my door and we stop in front of it. He had the keys out of his pocket but he doesn't open the door immediately.

"What's wrong" I quiz.

He pauses for a second longer before putting the key in. "Nothing" he says as his voice cracks. Yeah. Real convincing.

A few seconds later he unlocks the door and opens it up. As soon as we get inside I see balloons all over the place. There was a sign that said "happy birthday" and a cake on the table. I turn to Justin who was standing in the corner like he put himself in timeout.

"Surprise" he whispers.

I look around again and I had to smile. Who knew this was so important to him?

"What's this" I ask.

"I know you don't care about your birthday, but I still wanted to do something. You made it seem like it was a bad thing that you were born. And maybe you still feel that way but I am really happy you're here. I'm happy that this world got to learn from you for another year" he explains.

A soft sigh passes my lips as my eyes fall to the floor. "It's not that I think it was bad I was born, I just don't know why. There's a purpose to everything. The sun and the stars and everything in between. I'm just not sure what the point is of celebrating my birthday when another year has passed and I'm no closer to the answers I was looking for" I explain.

"Maybe you don't need answers" he tries. "Maybe you just need the journey."

"Maybe" I smile.

We get inside and I go right to my plants. To my surprise they looked just like I left them. Even the soil looked damp. I figured a week without water would do them in for sure but here they are.

"Beautiful, aren't they" he asks.

"You" I accuse making him smile.

"I knew these flowers meant a lot to you. And I didn't want a setback to deter them from continuing to grow. So I assisted a little" he explains.

"You're not talking about the flowers, are you" I question.

"Nothing gets past you" he chuckles.

"I know you, that's all" I assure him.

He sits on my couch then pats the seat next to him. I take a seat as I wait for whatever crazy thing he's going to say now.

"You've been working hard, growing every day. And I know there's been setbacks, days you can bring yourself to do simple things like watering the flowers. It's not the end of the world if you miss a day or two. If you take good enough care you can afford a few days away. Take time for yourself to feel again. And if it lasts more than a few days call me and I'll always lend a hand. I have no problem stopping by to water your soul.

And if the flowers die don't mourn for too long. You can plant new seeds, have new experiences. Because life is like a flower, growing and learning every single day. We might miss a few days but we will still grow. I promise" he insists.

I just smile as I nod my head. "You're right" I agree.

"I'm sorry, what was that" he teases as I roll my eyes.

"You're right. I'm going to be okay. Thanks to you" I insist.

We go over to the kitchen and he puts 21 candles in the cake. I sit across the island as he smiles like it was his birthday. He pulls out his phone and I roll my eyes.

"You are not taking a picture" I insist.

"Oh come on! My parents would love it and you only turn 21 once. You should remember it" he claims. Like I could forget...

"Fine" I sigh.

He happily picks his phone back up and waits for me to smile. "Come on" he wines.

I give in and give him a smile. He takes a picture but doesn't move. He just peers at me over his phone. "What now" I groan. I haven't had real food in a while and this cake was looking mighty yummy. Plus the candles are melting everywhere.

"Can we take a picture together" he wonders.

"You want a picture.... With me" I whisper.

"Yeah, I do" he confesses.

My face gets nice and warm as I look down. "Okay" I squeak.

He sets his phone up and puts the timer on 10 seconds. Once the countdown starts Justin walks around the island to stand next to me. I look up at him not sure if we were supposed to pose or smile or what.

Without a word his arm wraps around my waist. I wanted so bad to run away but I couldn't even feel my legs. His eyes lock on mine and for a second I forgot what we were doing. I just stare up at him trying to figure out what it was I was feeling. As his grip gets tighter I lean into him. His embrace was warm and inviting. His eyes clear and piercing. I don't think I've ever seen him from this light. I always thought he was an attractive man, but now there was no denying it.

"Jus-" I start but the words get caught. He just smiles like he always did and it made me melt.

The camera goes off and my face drop. "Oh shoot. I wasn't looking" I insist.

"That's okay" he assures me. "I'm sure it's fine."

He lets me go to retrieve his phone. I close my eyes trying to get my heart rate down. Not really sure that's possible right now. He returns to my side and points his head to the cake. If we wait any longer the wax will get everywhere.

So I blow out the candles and we cut the cake. I actually get to enjoy this one. We appreciate some peace without the sounds of hospital monitors and other patients yelling.

"You didn't get me anything else for my birthday... right" I ask.

"I didn't" he smirks. "I figured you might kill me if I did."

"I wouldn't kill you but I wouldn't have been happy either" I assure him as he nods. "But thank you for this. I've never felt wanted before so birthdays always seemed like a drag. Just another day. This is different though. So thank you" I smile.