Only Us (Justin Fields)

54| Chasing Waterfalls

Jillian

After a few weeks of not being able to leave the apartment we get to the puzzle part of the lock in. It was said that they were going to release the stay at home order at some unspecified date but we haven't heard word yet. With the summer almost halfway done I'm not sure I care that much anymore. I know Justin wanted to go home and see his family, it was hard to stay behind with all of them there. But here he can still work out and use the facility since many people were gone and he was safe. I was a trained professional for not going anywhere so it didn't bother me too much. But he was getting stir crazy so I ordered us a puzzle.

I get the box out and set out all the pieces. Justin studied the picture on the box like it was a playbook.

"Why did you choose this one" he asks pointing to the picture on the front of the box.

"I love the idea of waterfalls. How scary they are, the beauty that beholds them. What waits on the other side. Of course I've never seen one for myself but this is close enough" I shrug.

"I know a few good ones, Yellowstone and Niagara Falls. There's even some out here in the Midwest. Once this is all over I'll take you there" he promises.

My movements get slower as I look over at him. His eyes still locked onto the box. Without even knowing it he says these things and I don't think he realizes the weight of them.

"What" he asks when he realizes I was watching him.

"It just feels like we're in two different worlds sometimes" I confess.

"You think so? I thought we are as close as we have ever been" he says with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We are" I assure him. "But that doesn't mean that you and I still aren't very different.

My world is so small. Limited to the things I had been shown, the awful things I've seen. Sometimes I feel like my entire world is just a tiny room on a forever expanding continent, restricted to only know what I can find in the corners of that small room. Everything around me grows exponentially but I remain the same. Never going outside the walls, never seeing for myself what I'm missing.

But your world is huge. Sometimes it's like you have your own solar system, growing, filled with beautiful things and people who adore you. You go to places I can only dream about. The world you're in, it's yours, that's why it's so beautiful.

I very much want to see this world through your eyes. For you to continue to show me what all of this is for. Outside of that room is everything I ever wanted and only you know how to show it to me. How the mountains peak through the trees, how a drop of rain blends into an endless ocean. To sit at the bottom of a waterfall and no longer have to wonder what it would be like. My whole life everything has been black and white, then you come in with paint and a paintbrush and you color this beautiful picture of the world for me. I never want to lose sight of it.

Your world is special Justin, and I just want to be a part of it" I say.

He just stares at me waiting for me to go on, but I'm afraid that's all I got.

"You want to be a part of something" he asks softly.

"Only if it has to do with you" I confess.

"What if I end up playing in Florida" he tries.

"I'll suck it up" I nod.

"And if I get hurt and can't play another game" he tries.

"There is so much more to you than the game of football" I remind him.

"And what if this world turns on me like it has to so many men before me" he asks.

"Then you can make a new one. Fill it with everything that makes you happy, that makes your eyes sparkle. Have whatever it is your heart desires" I insist.

"So you" he claims.

I turn my eyes away quickly before I knew I couldn't. I wanted so bad to run away every time he says stuff like this. But it's not like I had a place to go anyway.

Before I had a chance to feel I feel something on my face. I open my eyes and see him just a mere inches from me. His hand under my chin and his thumb almost on my bottom lip. "Why do you try to hide when I say stuff like that" he asks.

"I guess I haven't quite figured out what it means to be wanted" I admit.

"I've known you for a year and a half now, I've always want you" he reminds me.

"Don't forget the 20 years before that I had been disregarded and forgotten. I don't think I will ever get used to the way you speak to me, the way you make me feel" I confess.

"Is that a good thing" he wonders.

"I think so" I admit.

He smiles before he takes his thumb and softly presses it to my bottom lip. Before I can even react his hand withdrawals and he gets up off the couch.

"Wanna start the puzzle" he wonders.

"Sure thing" I whisper having no control over my voice. He had to know he drives me crazy.

It took us about 4 hours to finish the puzzle. I've done so many of these on my own I never knew they could be done so quickly. Justin takes out his phone to take a picture before he turns to me.

"Let's take a picture with it so I can post it on instagram" he insists.

"Why do you want me in there" I ask.

We've taken a few pictures together already and he even posted the ones with his family that I was in. He wasn't big into social media and I didn't have any at all. So I'm not sure what he wanted from this.

"Well we both worked hard on it. I think we should be proud, show people what we accomplished" he claims.

"Oh, alright then" I say.

We get in front of the table with the puzzle behind us. Slowly we move closer and closer until he pulls the camera up. I see us both in frame but noticed a hair sticking up.

"Oh wait! My hair" I insist trying to fiix it. I try a few times but it didn't want to seem to cooperate as per usual.

Eventually Justin grabs my hand so I will stop. "You look beautiful, don't worry" he insists as he sets my hand back by my side. I feel the chills go up my spine as his eyes stay on mine.

He has to be messing with me at this point.

I hear the camera go off breaking us out of our stares. He laughs it off before taking the actual one. We look the pictures over and ironically the one of us looking at each other was my favorite.