Only Us (Justin Fields)

56| The Sun and the Moon

Justin

Now that it's June the weather gets to the point where I like it. I'm from Georgia so I like it hot. Miserable hot. We were still in lock down but a few more things opened up. It was okay to go out and be in nature. So I decide to plan a picnic for Jillian and I. It kinda felt like a date but I would never go on a date without asking her out first. So this is just friends hanging out. Only one friend loves the other and he isn't sure what she feels towards him.

As I pack our food she gets the blanket out of the dryer so it was fresh. She picked up some flowers and a vase to out them in so we can admire them while we eat. I can't imagine the quad was busy, even without Covid it's summer and many people aren't around. But it means we can have some peace and even joy a meal not in the apartment for once.

I start to pack the drinks but I notice a piece of paper on the counter. Jill keeps this place spotless so I thought it weird to see something out of its place. There was writing on this paper but it wasn't notes. It looked... like a story.

So I pull the paper to me and see Jillian's handwriting on it. I smile because she sometimes writes her I's with hearts on it. It's cute. Since most classes were online I figure her papers were typed but she could have drafted it here in the apartment. She was pretty old fashion like that. 

"You sure you want to read that" her voice rings out. I jump a little when I hear her suddenly but I smile when I feel her presence. The blanket in her arms and a pretty light blue sundress on. Looking like a beautiful cloud.

"I'm not sure what it is" I confess.

"It's a paper. Or at least a draft of a paper. It's incomplete at that point and kind of just word vomit" she claims.

"Well if you wrote it I'm sure it's amazing" I insist.

"I won't stop you from reading it. I actually worked hard on that, I'm pretty proud" she confessed.

"In that case" I say picking up the paper. I turn my eyes to the page as I start to read.

"To me, loving someone is like how the moon loves the sun. I'm the moon, dark and mysterious, and him the sun, bright and bold. The sun shows its love by shining light on the moon. And the moon does its best to let him know she feels his warmth. Unfortunately it isn't as easy for her to show that same love back. She wants to, but the sun is so powerful she isn't sure how it could ever possibly reach him.

In order for one to rise the other must fall. It's the tragic way to love in this vast universe. While the sun and the moon are often synonymous, their place in this galaxy isn't. The sun and the moon are always there, but rarely do the two ever meet. Maybe their love is like an eclipse, a short moment in time that transcends space that when they finally align people celebrate. Maybe it's just meant to pass in the night.

I think the scariest thing about love in this instance is the moons need for the sun, and the sun still shining regardless of what the moon does. Because the moon is always around but no one really notices it until the sun shines on it. People fear the dark side of the moon as I fear what I am without the sun. Yet the sun doesn't need the moon to burn. There are so many moons in this galaxy after all, for it to give all its light to one moon doesn't seem fair. But the moon doesn't want that anyway. All she wants is for them to shine together. Doesn't really want to exist without the sun anyway.

So the moon still loves the sun knowing that he lights many moons. Knowing how important the sun is to the solar system as a whole. I admire him from afar, watch as the planets and moons alike rejoice in the warmth he provides. He can change the universe with a single flare, I know that. Just being a part of his galaxy is good enough for me. He burns so bright sometimes I'm worried I'll burn up. Then I remember he is always out of reach, and he will always be out of reach. Even a eclipse is just a passing glance. Will never be close enough to burn. Still, it doesn't change the way I feel, how I bask in the light, how I melt under his stare. He is incredible in every sense of the word. One of a kind and always pulling me near, but never meant to touch.

So I ask, could the sun ever love the moon in the way the moon loves the sun? Could it ever feel like there is no point in shining if the moon wasn't around anymore? I guess we will never know, for both are so out of reach. But maybe there is a universe out there where the moon never has to wonder if her love is requited. She knows the sun will always shine but for her, just a little brighter."

"You wrote this" I whisper.

"Yeah. I wrote it last semester for creative writing. The prompt was to take something you know about and something you don't know about and make them the same thing. I know the sun and I know the moon. I know them better than I know anyone. And everything I know about love is pure speculation. So the result was this" she explains.

I just shake my head because this, this is insane. I've never felt so moved by words in my life. It was like she knew what the moon felt like. And you ache for her and her seemingly impossible love.

"Can I ask you something personal" I wonder.

"I wish you wouldn't" she whispers.

I let out a sigh because if she wishes it I will do it. But I am dying to know. "Okay then" I say as I fold the paper back up. I try to hand it to her but she just stares at it.

"Why don't you keep it" she insists. My eyes grow big as my heart starts to pound.

"Are you serious? This is amazing. You should frame it, put it up" I insist.

"The moon has no need for such things" is all she says.

I nod as I pull the paper back to me. "What about the sun" I question. I know I said I wouldn't ask anything personal but I wasn't asking her. I was asking the moon.

"The sun already has all the moon has to offer. I'm not sure the sun needs anything else" she claims.

"Maybe the sun wasn't able to tell the moon how much he loves watching her. He waits every night for her to step into the light just so he can admire her and all that she can do. Maybe he's too scared to know what that love will do" I whisper.

She just smiles at me making my face catch on fire. Just a look and I was putty in her hands. "Maybe that's true. Only time will tell" she claims.

"I guess so" I admit.