Only Us (Justin Fields)

|77| changing the world

Jillian

Now that the shorted season finishes it comes the Big Ten Championship game. From what Justin's dad has explained to me, there are two divisions in the Big Ten, the east and the west, from those divisions the two at the top of each division will face each other in the championship game no matter if all the best records belong to one division. Doesn't make sense to me, why wouldn't you have your best teams play in the championship? But what do I know?

The trick with this one was you had to play in five games to be eligible for the Big Ten Championship game. Ohio State did exactly that and won each of them. The issues was that Indiana had a record of 6-1 since they played in almost all of their games and technically won more games than OSU did. Deciding who would play Northwestern was quite the controversy.

In the end Ohio state wins out and they end up in Indianapolis to play in the Big Ten Championship game. It makes more sense this way since Ohio State was a seasonal contender and their market was bigger than Indianas. For the first time this season I travel to go watch the game. With COVID restrictions the travel party during the season was always small. I of course watched the games on TV and let Justin's family use the tickets. They only played a few away games so I really haven't missed much but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss seeing new cities.

I was here for the last Big Ten Championship so I wasn't a stranger to Indianapolis. And seeing as there was still quite a bit we cannot do I stay inside the hotel until it was time for the game. Naturally when there was down time Justin FaceTimed me and we spend time together the only way we can.

"Can you stop by my room before the game" he asks.

"As much as I would love to you are not breaking the rules for me. I will not allow it" I defend.

"Please! Any game can be the end for me now. And if it is I want to end it with you by my side" he claims.

"I really don't think you're going to lose this game. Nothing against Northwestern but you have at least one left. Even then, that doesn't justify breaking the rules" I defend.

"It's a stupid rule" he pouts.

"It's not. Plus I'll always be there for you when I'm needed. Win or lose we will go home together and continue into our future" I assure him.

"I know... I just miss you is all" he claims.

I smile to myself as I shake my head. I'll never understand him.

"You've been so clingy lately" I tease.

"I love being around you and I hate when I'm not. It's not so crazy to think about. I know a lot of people might not understand our relationship. They can look at the two of us separately and say it doesn't make much sense. But if they look at us together it's undeniable. I know it to be true. It also makes it hard when I know I can't be with you when we do obviously belong together" he explains.

"You truly believe that" I whisper.

"I always have. From the moment we met I knew that somehow, someway, everything I ever wanted to do would only be possible if you were by my side. I wish I could explain it. But it's a feeling I have had for a long time now. I might have yet to change the world but when I'm with you... I know I can" he says.

"To me, you already have. Because of the love you have showed me it changed my world.

When we first met, you told me that I should stay because you were going to change the world and I had to be a part of it. You knew that I wanted to die because I didn't believe this world, or even mine alone, would ever change. So when you said those words, the ones I wanted so desperately to hear, I believed you would change the world. And I thought you were talking about the whole world. Part of me believed you were going to change everything. That's why I stayed. To see how you would do it.

And I think you are well on your way of doing that. I don't know what will happen but I'm sure you will be able to change the world one way or another. Only I realized you didn't even have to do that. You already changed my world.

It used to be so small and empty. Everything that filled my world hurt me, and I always seemed to overflow with emotions I could not understand. No clue how to deal with them or what they meant. Then you come around and you showed me every meaningful aspect of living. You took that small hollow world and you made it bigger than I imagined, filled it with color and memories I cherish in my heart.

You did what I thought was impossible. Even if you haven't changed the whole world yet you've changed mine. And that's a promise you've kept" I insist.

"You can't say stuff like that then say I can't see you. That's not fair" he accuses.

"Well we have the rest of our lives to say things like this. And we won't always be next to each other when that happens, but nothing will tear us apart" I promise.

"So you're not coming over then" he says making me roll my eyes. I swear sometimes I would be better off reasoning with the wall.

Eventually we hang up and I shower before changing. We all head over to the game and head to our seats. I'm kind of thankful they want to be in the stands instead of the boxes. Forced isolation is never fun and it's cool to be a part of the crowd. Even if it is tiny.

I grab myself a water and sit with Jessica and Jaiden. We take a few pictures together before waiting for the game to start.

"Was Justin acting weird to you guys today" I ask them.

"What do you mean? He's always weird" Jess teases and I laugh.

"I don't know. He just seemed more clingy and needy than usual today. He wanted me to break the rules and come see me and it took all day to talk him out of it. It was weird" I explain.

"I think he is getting dependency issues" Jaiden claims.

"No way. He doesn't need me, especially when it comes to football" I defend.

"I disagree" Jaiden continues. "He might want everyone to think he's this strong independent guy who doesn't need anyone. But he does want people around. More specifically you. It's not a bad thing as long as he doesn't cross any boundaries you set" she claims.

"I guess you're right. I just... I don't want him so reliant on me. I couldn't bear to let him down" I sigh.

"To him, none of that stuff matters. You would never let him down because he doesn't expect anything from you but your love. So you have nothing to worry about" Jaiden claims.