Only Us (Justin Fields)

|37| You Are The Reason

Justin

I head over to my dad's place to pick up Jill from watching over the Jaiden. When I arrive I let myself in and go straight to the kitchen. I grab myself a Gatorade and go in search of my friend. It was when I hear the piano playing that curiousity got the best of me. I follow the sounds and see Jillian sitting at the bench with Jaiden. Jill would play something then Jaiden would copy a little slower. They weren't doing too bad.

I sit back and admire them. Jaiden was a great kid and I know Jillian was attached to both her and her sister. She enjoyed her days watching over someone she could actually consider a sister. My step mom has a weird schedule so it's just a few days a week but it looks like they had been working the piano for a while.

After a few minutes I go over there. Jaiden hops up to give me a hug which I happily reciprocate. She tells me all about her day and it makes me smile knowing she had a good time. Eventually she had to go to the bathroom so she takes off and I sit next to Jillian at the piano.

"I didn't know this thing was tuned. It hadn't been touched in years" I admit. It was pretty much decoration at this point. A family heirloom that we couldn't get rid of.

"It wasn't. I tuned it" she claims.

"I didn't know you knew about pianos" I gasp.

"I didn't at the time. I watched a YouTube video on how to tune it. And I've actually never played piano up until a few weeks ago when Jaiden and I got this things going again" she confesses.

"Seriously? And you can already play songs" I question.

"Not from memory. As long as I have sheet music I can play it. I learned how to read music in high school then my first semester of college I took music theory. The interest was always there I just never got my hands on a piano long enough to peak interest.

There is one song I memorized though it was pretty easy" she shrugs.

"What song" I wonder. It must be special if it's the only one.

"I don't know if you would know this one" she confesses as she starts to play. Within the first few seconds I recognize it.

"It's You Are The Reason, right" I question.

She immediately stops playing before turning to me. Her eyebrows raised in confusion. "You know this song" she questions.

"What is that supposed to mean" I scoff. I know a good song when I hear it.

"It's not exactly a song you have on a workout playlist" she admits. "And you've never played it when we were in the car together."

I guess that's true but it's all over the radio and I actually have it in my studying playlist but the one I only listen to with headphones in. "Maybe I'm embarrassed to admit I know this song" I defend.

"There is nothing wrong with liking songs like this. It doesn't make you any less manly" she assures me.

"I know. But what if I said I understood this song, a lot. Like in my heart this song plays over and over again. And I'm afraid people wouldn't understand why that is so instead of me trying to explain it I just act like I don't know it" I try.

She stares at me as she leans in closer to me. My breath hitches in my throat nearly causing me to choke. Her eyes search my face, looking for a deception in my words. As her eyes rest on my lips I feel a shiver go down my spine. I can't tell if she knew what I was doing, and if she did she would understand me. Not a word passes her lips as she returns to her former spot. She just starts to play again and I watch her fingers.

To my surprise she starts to sing. She was the shy kind, didn't seem like one to perform for anyone. But she surprised me every day. And this... was the biggest one yet.

"There goes my heart beating
'Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now

And there goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now

I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason."

As she sang it was almost like she was whispering. Her voice soft, kind. It wasn't so much singing as she was soulfully telling a story. This song obviously meant something to her. She memorized this one song, there had to be a reason.

I go from watching her fingers to watching her lips. It felt like the words were getting caught, but that's okay because she wasn't alone in the way she was feeling. So I decided to sing along with her.

"There goes my hands shaking
And you are the reason
My heart keeps bleeding
I need you now

And if I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spend every hour, of every day
Keeping you safe

And I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason."

Her hands start to shake as she slows down a little. It wasn't her struggling to play or her forgetting. It was her realizing that what she was saying, or rather what I was saying was true.

If I could turn back time I would make sure she would never know a sleepless night or a cold meal. She would never have to wonder where she would be at the next day or if someone who is supposed to be protecting here would be the ones to hurt her. If I could go back I would make sure the light never faded, the darkness would be defeated every single time. I would go to the end of time to make sure she was safe.

But I can't, the past is in the past, right where it belongs. And now she's here, where she belongs as well. I know I am no match to the trials and tribulations she has encountered. But if I could make it so she doesn't have to fight or hide anything for the rest of her life, I would do it.

"I don't wanna fight no more
I don't wanna hide no more
I don't wanna cry no more
Come back I need you to hold me (you are the reason)

Be a little closer now
Just a little closer now
Come a little closer
I need you to hold me tonight

I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
'Cause I need you to see
That you are the reason."

As the last note sounds it fades into the distance. She doesn't look up from the piano as she stares at it, waiting for it to make sound on its own. But like usual she doesn't realize that what made it sound so good, it was her all along.

"-Jill" I start causing her to look up to me. She was as close as she had ever been before. I can see the pores on her face, how long her eyelashes were, how her lips had a darker line around them to make them pop.

I wasn't sure what to do, or to say. I've thought of this moment much longer than most would think. I lean in thinking everything was finally coming together.

"Jilly" a soft voice yells out and we quickly back away.

"Yeah Jaiden" she replies.

"Can you help me find my softball glove? I got practice soon" Jaiden pleads.

"Of course" Jillian insists as she gets up from the bench.

I expect her to ignore me and run upstairs but she doesn't. She turns to me and rests her hand on the side of my neck. Her thumb reaches around and softly caresses my cheek. Thank god I was sitting because my legs would have surly ran away.

She doesn't say a thing yet I heard every thought in her head. She didn't know how to say it but that's why worked so well together. She didn't need to.