Only Us (Justin Fields)

|2| Winter Flowers

Jillian

At what point does a life become one worth living? Is it based off academics, or maybe a job? It is your relationships that define your worth? What does one have to do to achieve living versus surviving each day by slowly dying?

I've had a lot of questions recently. Most of them just me trying to figure out the point of any of this. Life is so precious, can end in the instance, yet no one can tell me what is the point is to suffering day after day. Simply pushing death away inch by inch. Doesn't seem fair. To be set out in this world without a clue as to how things work. All you know is what you've been doing doesn't work yet you still have no clue where to go.

I bend down at a batch of flowers outside the student union building. There was now a thick layer of snow covering them, a continuation of the snow from just a few days prior. In the snow were specks of purple. Flowers that bloom when the weather is like this. They're rare, but I think that's what makes them beautiful. What gives them that purpose of living. The ability to thrive when most die, that's what makes them special.

"They're stunning, aren't they" a deep voice asks.

I stand back up and turn around. I see Justin standing behind me in a black hoodie and grey sweats. A red stocking cap covering his hair from the snow.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" I insist.

"So what do you see" he wonders.

"Resilience. No matter the circumstances these flowers stand tall, they continue to grow. When all the other flowers die, these ones survive" I say.

"Kinda like a girl I know" he tries. He had that smile on his face I still haven't quite figured out.

"So are you following me" I accuse.

"No. I was here to pick up books for next semester and I saw you admiring the flowers. Decided to come over and say hi. That's all" he claims showing me probably $300 worth of textbooks.

"Oh" I say. Weird that we keep meeting like this.

Silence falls between us as the sounds go mute in the snow. He looked nervous for whatever reason.

"You... you wanna grab some food" he offers. I raise my eyebrow trying to figure out what he is trying to accomplish here.

"You sure that's a good idea" I challenge. Our relationship isn't exactly normal.

"You're my only friend here, remember" he smirks.

"If you're worried about me, don't. I would never burden you with the weight of life, even if it is that of a stranger" I assure him.

"I don't want to be strangers. I just want to get to know you. But I understand if you're not ready, or not wanting to do so" he claims.

A soft sigh passes my lips as I shake my head. What have I gotten myself into?

"I know this place with great salads. Would you like me to show you" I offer.

"I would love that" he perks up.

We walk a few blocks to this little bistro that was nearly on the edge of campus. I visit here often whether it be studying or just to be away for a while. I don't leave my place much but when I do it's usually either for school or to come here. As soon as we walk in I smell fresh bread, there are few smells better than this one.