Only Us (Justin Fields)

|66| Looking For Me Too

Jillian

After messaging with my half brother he decided that since they lifted the travel bans it was a good time to come to Ohio. Just for a few days to catch up on 19 lost years and Justin promised him some time in the facility to work out while he was here too. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I don't know what it means to be a sister. All my foster siblings never saw me as one and I never knew if I ever even acted like one? I know Jaiden and Jessica but I don't know what makes them sisters to Justin. Family... it was an unfamiliar concept for me.

Justin and I go to the airport to pick him up. He had a rental car but it wouldn't be ready until tomorrow. I had no problems taking him to his hotel and getting his car tomorrow. I was more worried about what to say to him between now and then.

"Baby" Justin says softly breaking me out of my spiral. He knows when he uses his soft voice he can bring me back from anywhere.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

"There is nothing to apologize for. I can't imagine what you're going through, what you might be thinking. This is a big moment and it's not that it could go bad, it's that 22 years of being alone is coming to an end and you don't know what happens next. None of us will. But that's okay" he assures me.

"I've never done well with the uncertain" I admit.

"Me neither. But while I don't know what's going to happen, I know that whatever it is I'll be by your side. And until you tell me differently I will stay there" he promises.

Man, he was heaven sent.

We get to the airport and walk up to the gate for the plane from Miami. I sit there staring at the escalator trying not to break Justin's hand from holding it so tight. He places a soft kiss on the top of my head and it does help a little. At least I know he will love me no matter what.

It was minutes but it felt like hours that passes us by. Finally a group of people make it down the escalators. I had seen pictures of him so I had an idea of what he looked like. But once I see a tall guy with Florida gators stuff on I kind of just assumed it was him.

He looks around for a few seconds before he spots us. He excitedly waves and I smile before waving back. His feet move a bit quicker as he weaves in and out of people like a true wide receiver.

As soon as his feet hit the solid ground he runs over. I wasn't sure what to say but luckily he didn't leave time for words. Right before he reaches me I let go of Justin and he pulls me into a hug.

I didn't know how to react at first. Besides Justin and his family I wasn't much for human contact. Barely even a handshake. But something felt right. It's like a part of me was back and I could wrap my arms around him. So I do. I close my eyes and hug him back.

"You're so tiny" he says and I laugh.

"Yeah well age doesn't constitute height now does it" I tease.

"I guess not. But you have the same eyes as me. And nose" he noticed. I can sense the genuine excitement he had from actually seeing me. The similarities we shared. I had felt so alone in this world, looking for someone who could understand, turns out someone out there was looking for me too.

"And you must be Justin. I'm a huge fan" my brother says shaking Justin's hand.

"Thanks. I'm a fan of yours too. Maybe you should come to the big ten next season" Justin teases.

"Oh I'm not playing against you if I don't have to" my brother says making him laugh. I don't blame him.

We take him over to his hotel where he gets checked in. Then we decide to go out to dinner. He had never been to the Midwest really. Spent his whole life in the south so this was all new to him. We passed two corn fields on the way over and you would think Beyoncé was out there he was so excited.

We get to the restaurant and order our food. We start the normal conversations just trying to get to know each other.

"So how did you two meet" my brother questions. Justin had been talkative all night up until that moment. Silence befalls us as he tried to figure out what went wrong.

"I tried to kill myself" I say and I hear him gasp. "Well technically it was the second time" I shrug.

He clears his throat as he starts to move around in his seat. "I'm sorry" he tries.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I could have lied and said we met at school which is technically true as that is where we met but it's not how we met. But he saved my life" I smile.

He sits there for a second before he sighs. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I know there was nothing I could have done. Pops didnt tell me about my mom until a few years ago when she randomly showed up one day and I didn't know about you until this year. But still, I always felt like there was someone out there I was meant to meet.

So to hear I almost didn't get the chance to hurts. I can admit to that. I know I couldn't have changed what led to that but I'm still sorry. People who shouldn't have kids can have as many as their body lets them then faces no consequences. Just keep reproducing and nothing changes, seemingly only the kid suffers. You never should have had to deal with that. It's not my fault but...

It's not yours either" he explains.

A single tear drops on my cheek before I quickly wipe it away. He had a point you know. "If it gives you any peace of mind, every moment since he saved me I have been so thankful for. He gave me a chance to find you, and I did. And now I get to know my little brother" I smile.

"I'm afraid I'm not as interesting as you hope. Outside of football and school I don't do much" he claims.

"What are you in school for" I wonder.

"Education. I want to be a grade school teacher" he claims and I pause. I did not see that coming.

"Really" I ask.

"Yeah. When I was in grade school I had a teacher, Mr. Jones, he changed my life. He got me into football. He steered me straight. I realized the impact a good grade school teacher can have on someone. I'm a decent college player but I'm afraid that if I did make it to the NFL it would be a short stint. I'll play the cards I have but I need more cards to play. I don't want to be stuck with a hand I will never be able to play with you know" he shrugs.

"I get it. Maybe you can come teach wherever we end up" I say.

"I would love that" he smiles.