Only Us (Justin Fields)

|47| Knowledge of Convinience

Jillian

As people go to puzzles and zoom hang outs to pass the time Justin has something different in mind. Streaming devises take over and for someone who hasn't seen much of anything, this was perfect.

Today he decided I will learn about Star Wars. I of course have heard of it before, I was neglected not oblivious. But to say I consumed a second of it would be a lie.

After he argues with himself over the order in to watch these movies he decides on starting at episode 4. Makes no sense to me but I'm sure it will later. So he makes some popcorn and I make us some pink lemonade. We sit on the couch ready to have a new experience.

We get through the first two movies and he answers all my questions to the best of his ability. He wasn't a huge Star Wars fan but he insists I should watch it and decide on my own how far into it I wanted to be. Apparently there were series to watch if you wanted to know more and who knows, I might? It seemed pretty interesting to me.

"Is this about politics" I ask.

"Is it" he questions and I roll my eyes. I thought I was the one asking questions here.

"Well I'm not sure yet. But it seems familiar. The empire came to be at the fall of the republic and from what I understand, the republic was for the people by the people" I connect.

"True" he nods. "I think it's more political in the prequels" he shrugs.

"Interesting" I nod.

"There's no way this is what you're taking from intergalactic space battles" he insists.

"The movies as a whole are interesting but the subplots are what makes a movie if you ask me. The family dynamic is something I can relate to though if my dad found me then cut off my hand I'm not so sure I would be asking for more. I do like the idea of using the force. Something that guides you, that is in everyone but in some more than others. And yes even the political side interests me. The concept is quite compelling though the romance needs a little work" I admit.

"Oh it gets worse in the next movie" he assures me. I don't like the way he said that.

We start the third and final movie of the trilogy and he was right... the romance indeed gets worse. I had a feeling that Luke and Leia were related but then they kissed and I wasn't so sure. According to Justin the whole twins things wasn't decided until after the kiss but somehow that didn't make it any better.

By now it is about 1 am and Justin was getting tired, I could tell. I told him to go to bed since he was nodding off but he insisted he could last one more movie.

Inevitably about halfway through episode 1 Justin was fighting for his life at the end of the couch. I watch as his head falls and he jerks it back up for a few seconds before it falls again.

Right as I was going to say something he leans over. Before I knew what was happening his head was in my lap. I nearly jump up but was able to control myself at least for the time being.

"Justin" I say softly. I wait a few seconds but I don't get a response.

He takes his arm that was under him and wraps it around my thigh before pulling himself closer. His hand resting on my thigh near where his head was had a tight grip on me. I could nearly hear my heart pounding in my head.

I wasn't sure what to do. He was tried and I didn't want to wake him. But I am not so sure my heart can last a whole night like this without giving out. I've never felt like this before. Then again I've never been like this either. No matter how good our relationship has been we've never been very physical. We hug now but besides a stray grab of the hand here and there it's pretty much non-existent.

Never had I been close enough to someone to lay like this. And I never imagined I would have the hottest commodity in the big ten wrapped around my leg, but here we are. In the end he's just a man, and I'm sure his heart craves affection. He comes from a very affectionate family. To be honest I have been surprised he hasn't ran off with some girl who doesn't sit here and analyze things the way I do. Who would know what to do in this situation, had some experience. And yet he never wanted to let me go.

A soft sigh passes my lips as I shake my head. I got myself in quite the situation this time around. I can promise you I was no longer watching the movie but there was no way I was going to be able to pay attention now.

Suddenly his fingers squeeze my thighs making me squeak. When I look back down it seems he was passed out. Now I really couldn't get up.

I close my eyes as I try and think of what to do. I probably shouldn't be over thinking this situation but here we are. But as I look back down and he sleeps peacefully I realized that there was nothing that I needed to do. We just were, and that's all that there needed to be.

My fingers start to run through his hair without me even realizing it. He hadn't gotten it done since before Covid so now it's getting kind of crazy. But I liked it crazy. And I never noticed how long his eyelashes were before. Or how cute his nose was. In every conventional sense he was attractive, I never denied that. But I never noticed just how pretty he was either.

As I twirled his hair around my fingers I see a soft smile on his face. It doesn't take much to make him happy, he was a pretty easy going guy who likes a lot of different things. I think he likes them for convince, so that there will never be a situation where he won't be able to connect with someone. Take Star Wars for example, he knows a lot but just enough to make conversation. I don't know if he actually likes this stuff or not. I don't see it around his apartment. And he doesn't talk about it day to day. So it has to be knowledge of convince. Or maybe an excuse to make people like me watch it for their first time. I may never understand his reasonings.

Eventually I rest my hand on his head and close my eyes too. My heart rate returns to normal as sleep starts to invite me. Though I'm not sure I wanted this moment to end.