Only Us (Justin Fields)

|42| Growing

Jillian

It was a short summer, but it was filled with lots of fun and memories that will last me a lifetime. Now that a lifetime is a little longer than I anticipated it was nice to have something to look back at and smile. I didn't have too much of that until recently. It's... nice.

But it was time to go back to Ohio. Life wasn't going to wait for me to make up for all the time I had loss, that much was painfully obvious. So we continue forward into the future.

One of the first things I do upon my return was go to the bistro. I find Leanne at the coffee maker with a tan and her hair completely blonde now. She looked amazing.

"Look at you" I smile.

"Look at you! Whose car is that" she asks pointing to the car I came in. She knew Justin's car and that wasn't it.

"I want to tell you but you'll probably over react" I accuse.

"Wow. Haven't seen you all summer and this is how you treat me" she gasps.

"I'll tell you but you'll only prove me right" I warn.

"Try me" she challenges.

I let out a long breath because I know she is about to ask me a million and one questions I won't have the answer to.

"Justin gave it to me" I say quickly.

She just smiles for a few moments before chuckles escape her lips. "No he didn't" she accuses.

"Well technically him and his dad did. It was originally Justin's but he's stubborn and wanted to buy his own car. Jessica got a different car and Jaiden wasn't planning on driving just yet. She's freshly 16 and in no hurry. It was taking too much room in Justin's dad's garage so they decided to fix it up and give it to me" I explain.

Her eyes nearly double in size as her jaw drops. "You're not joking" she croaks.

"Not one bit" I promise.

Suddenly she lets out a loud squeal causing people to turn around. I throw my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment. This was what I was expecting. It was a little late but it was there.

"Jillian you have got to be kidding me!? That's crazy" she claims playfully hitting my shoulder over and over again.

"I know. I didn't want to believe it. Nothing about that man seems to be real but he spends every day showing me that he is real, and he's here to stay. And it's scary not because I'm scared of losing the car but I'm scared of losing someone who would spend a summer fixing up a car for me or someone who cares for me the way he does.

These past few months I realized a lot" I admit.

"Like the fact that you love him" she cheers and my eyes get big.

"Now I didn't say anything of the sort" I gasp.

"So you don't" she pouts.

"I didn't say that either" I defend. "I don't know a thing about love. But I'm learning, piece by piece I think I'm starting to figure it out."

"Thanks to Justin" she asks.

I stay silent as the sound of my heart beating grows louder and louder. I couldn't answer, not with my words. But what I felt in my chest told me all I needed to hear.

"You don't have to answer" she assures me. "Tell me what else happened this summer."

I fill her in on the trip to New York and gardening with Justin's mom and hanging out with his sister. She tells me about an internship she is going to take up to start social work in Columbus. She would still be at the bistro from time to time but will be focusing on her career too.

After lunch I head back to my apartment. People were starting to slowly come back to school and as much as I loved spending time with Justin and his family, it was nice to be by myself again. Don't get me wrong, they gave me space when I asked but I always hated asking. They're all so used to having someone around and I'm just... not.

Once I was finished unpacking I do what I had wanted to do for so long, and I buy myself some flowers and get out my pots and the leftover soil I had from the winter. I sit by the window and plant some new flowers. The ones of last season had been long gone but that's the cool thing about planting. You can always start anew, get to know new flowers. Bring new light into the world and such.

Funny how this damn near saved my life. Having to stick around to see the flowers grow. Feeling the burden of having to take care of them otherwise they will never survive. Then realizing the same goes for you. If you neglect taking care of yourself, leave yourself no room to grow then you have doomed yourself. And flowers don't bloom over night, it takes time. Now I see just how much life is like a flower, and how important it is to grow.

I grew a lot over the summer. Learned a lot about myself, about others. I think for the first time in my life I understand what is so important about family. About being a part of one. I know I am not in Justin's family but being so close to them I understand why it's important to have them. And why what I want to do is so important as well.

It starts to get late and I was back to my old ways. I slept safe and sound knowing Justin and his family was around. They would never harm me or let anyone harm me. Now that I'm alone again I didn't have that peace of mind. But maybe one day, as I continue to grow, I will too learn that it is okay to rest.

I crawl into bed and check my phone. I hadn't been on it almost all day. Once I catch up on emails I see a text from Justin from like two hours ago asking for me to call him. Now I feel bad because he might be asleep. But I call him just in case he might still be up.

"Not sleeping again huh" he answers and I roll my eyes.

"I can never get a normal greeting from you" I scoff.

"I just... I worry about you" he says softly. It's amazing how fast he can go from being all big and tough to being a big softy.

"Thank you Justin. But you needn't worry. I'll be fine" I say.

"Promise me" he demands.

"I promise" I assure him.

I tell him all about the flowers I planted and my plans for them. I knew he liked these things too. "Whoever would have thought me giving you that Christmas gift last year would lead us here" he laughs.

"Certainly not me" I shake my head.