WangXian Forever 7

Chapter 59 Cloud Recesses

In the Hanshi, Jiang Cheng put little Li Li to sleep in her small cot and wondered where his brother was for the hundredth time that day. Soon it would be time to sleep and with it, the blissful ignorance of darkness and rest.

He looked at the mounting pile of papers on their small table and realised he had a lot more in common with his brother; there had been many times in the past when he'd visited his brother in the Jingshi and found an utter mess, but since neither him nor the second Jade seemed to mind too much, Jiang Cheng thought it inappropriate to comment. Now that he was in much the same position, he had a small rueful smile on his face.

So he sat down to tackle the work.

XiChen came in then, blowing a soft breeze of cooler air with him, ruffling his impeccable white robes. If Jiang Cheng paused to look up and admire that beautiful picture he made, no one would fault him.

XiChen kissed the top of his head, and sat down absentmindedly.

"Li Li's asleep?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes." Jiang Cheng poured some fresh tea for him.

"I'm sorry I missed saying goodnight to her." He sighed.

Jiang Cheng raised an eyebrow.

"The meeting with the village Elders took longer than expected. There were more of them than I thought." He sighed again. "Cases are going up, and we have no idea what's happening."

"They'll be back soon, Huan. Stop fretting."

As usual, Jiang Cheng was far more perceptive than people gave him credit for.

"I miss them too, but I kind of knew I'd be feeling like this." He sighed too.

"Now I've gone and made you sad too." XiChen smiled softly at him. "I shouldn't be surprised any more that you know exactly what I'm thinking." He leaned over to get a closer look at what Jiang Cheng was working on.

"It's spreading to Lotus Pier." Jiang Cheng pulled out a few pieces of parchment and showed them to him. "Three cases so far. People are getting antsy."

"Civilians would be worried. They understand less than us, what's going on, and it's difficult to keep a level head when you're surrounded by uncertainty."

"They're more vulnerable because they don't have golden cores." He looked up into a face full of concern.

Seconds passed, and XiChen reached over to hold his hand.

"I know what that's like, Huan." Jiang Cheng carried on, his voice thick with unshed tears. "When Wen Zhuliu melted my core, I've never felt any pain like it. Luckily I passed out, but my body knew. I knew. That emptiness, it was deep and encompassing, a void that could never be filled, and as soon as I woke up, I wanted to die. What about my parents? You might ask me that, but I knew what had happened to them too, by this point. The three of us had that much in common at least." He laughed bitterly.

"There was no point living, not if I was going to live it as a failure. Such a disappointment, a hundred times worse than what my father expected of me. I knew...I knew he expected Wei WuXian to be hold my hand if I ever became leader, and look at the irony of our situation: I am Sect Leader, but it is Wei WuXian's core running the Clan. But I never asked him to give it to me. I never did, Huan, I never did." Jiang Cheng burst into tears.

XiChen pulled him into his lap, holding this strong leader, his beloved husband tightly, as if by doing so, he could banish all this pain from his mind.

"Parents are difficult people to understand. They have their own fears, and hopes and dreams, already laid out for you, even before you take your first steps. And I don't know any child who didn't want to please their parents. It's a filial duty, something ingrained and when there is something valuable to be inherited, all the more so. It is a wonder that a child heir can even lift their heads high after all those expectations are piled on top of them." He said softly.

"You were a good son to your parents, you are a good son now. Parents need to understand that their love should be unconditional, and it must be clearly shown to be. I do not wish to speak ill of your parents, not least because they at peace now, but no parents are perfect. And because of the valuable lessons you learned in how not to be, look at the great job you're doing with our daughter. Jiang WanYin, you are enough. You are everything you need to be, in this moment. You are also everything I need you to be, right now." He waited for Jiang Cheng to calm himself, before kissing his hot eyes.

"I'm so glad you got that off your chest. It's cleansing to be rid of the weights in our minds." He kissed his forehead. "Do you feel better now?"

Jiang Cheng nodded.

"We should probably go to sleep ourselves." XiChen whispered next to his ear.

Jiang Cheng held him tighter.

"There's lots of work to do." He whispered back.

"Work that can wait for a few hours." XiChen told him firmly.

He stood up carrying his husband and walked to their bed.

"Let me do this." He continued in a soft voice, pausing and looking at him for his permission.

Jiang Cheng nodded, holding his breath.

XiChen reached up and pulled out the purple lotus jade pin in his hair, undoing the Guan and freeing his lovely hair.

"I always admired your hair, wondering what it would feel like to run my fingers through it. Would it feel silky, or coarse like our beloved horses, or would it feel like my Didi's?" XiChen spoke gently, calming him with his voice. Some of it was silly, some of it serious but by the time he finished combing his fingers through that fine, thick hair, Jiang Cheng was swaying with his eyes shut.

XiChen gently disrobed him and lay him down. Then with a final kiss on the soft, rosy cheek of his daughter, he climbed into bed with his husband. Sleep was harder to come by tonight, but he watched the rise and fall of the chest of his beloved and listened to him breathing softly and knew there was nowhere else he would rather be.