When Mrs. Infamous Loved The Masochist... (BOOK 2)

Chapter 31

Finn's POV

What's wrong with me? I used to be the most composed person anyone's ever known, even my teachers back in high school. Now it feels like everything's derailing ever since I came to this small town and reunited with my old friend, Carina. Seeing her again made everything I was working for seem less important as I saw the little and quirky girl I once knew turn out to be an independent and mature woman. Not to mention she turned out to look so much prettier since then. But then, she was also pretty when I met her as a child. Everyone in our neighborhood and at school hated how different her hair color was which led to her feeling inferior about it. I might have been the only one to find it beautiful, she looked like a princess to me. It broke my heart when my parents made us move away and I was afraid I'd never see her again. My hope deteriorated when I lost my parents not too long after and I was sent to live with my grandmother. She was the only one who help me regain hope for happiness again.

All those years of not seeing Carina, I kept hope in my heart that somehow, someday, we'd meet again and we could rekindle our friendship. I guess I was selfish for believing that she would have her own group of friends already when we finally met again. But the last thing I expected when I would meet her again was for her to have a boyfriend who I haven't even met yet, but for some reason, I can't help but feel resentful toward him. Due to what Carina has told me about her first heartbreak, I didn't think she would give her heart so easily again. With the company she's always hanging out with, it's starting to become clear that Carina has moved on with her life and may not have time for me anymore. Even so, I don't want to believe all those years I've spent hoping we'd be close again were for nothing. I wanted to be an important part of her life as well, be there for her like I always would and show her she was just as important to me like she was all those years ago.

I walked into my dorm after a long day of classes, and found Leona sitting at the desk studying once again for her classes. At this point, I was worried for her. She doesn't seem to get any free time for herself and I wondered if she would burn herself out for trying so hard. I went over to her and asked, "Hey Leona, still studying? Haven't you taken a break yet?" She shook her head as she continued to wrote down notes in her notebook, "No. Don't have time for a break." I scratched my head nervously as I said, "Well, I mean, I think it'll help you feel better. You'll do fine in your classes anyway." She sighed in aggravation and turned to me as she expressed her frustration, "That does sound nice, but as a science major and a woman, it's not as simple as you think." She continued as she began to put her books away, "My family expects the best from me and to invest my time in something other than studying is a waste of time that will guarantee failure." When she was finished, she just stood in front of the wall like she didn't want me to see her upset.

Her stomach rumbled then and so I offered, "Well, if you're hungry, you should at least stop for a while to replenish yourself. Would hate to see you get sick. Come on, I'll buy your food for you." As I offered my hand for her, she seemed apprehensive at first, then rolled her eyes as she took it and we made our way to a local diner I saw Carina sitting in with her friends. Luckily for us, it was still open for another hour or so, and we had our food brought to us at our booth. After eating silence for a couple of minutes, she said to me, "Pretty nice of you to take me out for some food when you've barely spoken to me this entire semester." Taken back by her remark, I responded with, "Well, you seemed like you didn't want to speak with me so I wanted to give you space. But you barely get out of the dorm other than for classes and the library. It's not bad to have at least an hour or two in the day to take some time for yourself. Isn't there anything you like to do?"

She looked down and avoided my eyes as she answered my question, "I don't know. I've never been able to do something I might like. My family emphasizes strongly on being the best in everything I do and nothing that's considered a waste of time. I've started to believe that my happiness does not matter when it comes to my success." I felt bad for her as I explained, "Well, I used to think the same way before coming to school here, but I felt more unhappy just focusing on my studies and not doing anything for myself. I don't want to push you to do something by force, but it really does help to know what you like and understand that school and books aren't everything in life." She looked back up at me and stated, "Maybe you're right. I just wish I had the confidence to do so. Thanks, Finn." I smiled to see her agreeing and then she smiled back at me. I was feeling good about the connection we were making until I glanced outside the window to see Carina walking down the street and then realizing something. If I was enjoying spending time with Leona, why do I feel like I'd rather be with Carina instead?