When Mrs. Infamous Loved The Masochist... (BOOK 2)

Chapter 64

Finn's POV

I fucked up so bad, and it's all because I couldn't take rejection like a man. Now I'll never have Carina back in my life even as her friend for what I did to spite her. I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to never forgive me. I don't deserve to be close to her even if I didn't go behind her back. I guess I should have realized not everyone is close with their family like I was. Carina never liked to mention hers and when she did, it was always in a negative tone, like they never did anything for her to do the opposite. When I ran into them back in our old hometown, they didn't even look interested in what their daughter's life must be like now. All they cared about was that she was conforming and did what they wanted her to do. I'll bet they never wanted her to come to Querencia and study at Trouvaille University. She was lucky to be accepted in a school like this one, but even I believe luck had nothing to do with it. She was the best person I've ever known, and now I've driven her away from me.

That day she confronted me for telling her parents about her living with Remington, I got the biggest reality check in my life that I probably should've known about sooner. As I walked back to my dorm at the university, I had forgotten that Leona was still visiting her family and I probably wouldn't see her until spring break was over. But the thing was, I never saw her back in my dorm after that. I wondered what had happened so I asked a dean about my roommate. They informed me that Leona had put in a request before spring break to transfer to another dorm room even if she didn't get a roommate in this one. I couldn't believe it. Did she move out of our dorm? I was racking my brain on why she would do this when everything seemed normal between us. One day between classes, I was able to track her down and then go up to her and ask, "Leona, you moved to a new dorm? But why?" She shook her head and tried to walk away, but I took her arm and pleaded, "Please, Leona, what did I do wrong?"

She let out a long sigh as if this was the last thing she needed today and then turned to explain to me, "Do I really need to tell you? Judging by the look on your face, it looks like you've done a lot of things wrong. I've heard rumors of you trying to win Carina for yourself like some knight in shining armor, but you disrespected her wishes in a way that led her to lash out at you. I already warned you to forget about her if she wouldn't accept your feelings, but you didn't listen. I warned you if you continued, you'd lose her for good and you still did not listen. I tried to look out for you and protect your feelings from getting hurt, but it's like I'm invisible to you, and nothing I say matters." She turned away from me and continued, "I figured: what's the point of staying with a roommate who doesn't even acknowledge you anymore when he lets his feelings guide his actions instead of his brain? That's why I moved out. I didn't want to bother you any more since you clearly don't need me."

I was shocked at her words as I let her go and she proceeded to walk away from me. I understand I hurt Carina and I don't deserve forgiveness so easily, but I didn't think I'd drive Leona away. Walking to my next class, I realized that she was absolutely right about me. She's been telling me to do the right thing and I just ignored her through everything. I was so caught up in trying to get Carina to love me back that I cast Leona aside even though she was just trying to keep me from getting hurt. Wow, I've really turned into a horrible person ever since I got here. I never meant to hurt Leona, but I just wanted to achieve my own form of happiness. That should have never come to the cost of causing pain to everyone around me. I wanted to apologize to Leona for what I did to her, even if it meant she might never want to forgive me. Maybe now wasn't the right time, especially since we had just gotten back from school. But I would tell her I was sorry very soon.

One day in the middle of the month, I left something near her new dorm room where I left a note with her name on it. I hoped she would get it and meet me where I asked her. I waited inside the local diner that night and after waiting for almost thirty minutes, I felt disappointed that she wouldn't actually meet me. I get it, I haven't been much help to her so I don't deserve her company. As I was preparing to pay the tab, I heard someone come in through the front door and I looked up to see Leona had made it. She spotted me and walked over to my booth before sitting across from me. Her expression was blank and unbothered, indicating that she wasn't pleased to see me. She said to me, "I hope this is important, Finn. I've got some classes to review for and I'm sure you don't need me to bother you." I nodded in understanding her mood, then I folded my hands in front of me nervously as I began to express to her. 

"Leona, I understand that I haven't been the best person to be around. And it doesn't help to know I've hurt more than one person. I'm really sorry for the way I've been treating you and that I didn't regard your concern for me. Maybe if I had taken your words to heart, I wouldn't have ended up this way. I want you to understand that you were never in the way or something like an obstacle. In all honesty, you were the one person trying to guide me to a better path I refused to take because I've got some serious issues. But even my personal problems aren't an excuse to act like a piece of shit." Leona's expression began to change which was when I decided to go ahead and ask, "Leona, I know I've hurt you and I shouldn't be forgiven so quickly. But if you can find it in your heart to give me another chance to not only be my roommate again, but a better friend to you, I will try my hardest to be more considerate towards you and your feelings. I wished I noticed earlier how much you actually cared about me." I waited for her response as she slightly blushed at my words, then took a few minutes to consider my apology and finally say, "Okay. One more chance."