When Mrs. Infamous Loved The Masochist... (BOOK 2)

Chapter 42

Carina's POV

I worked for a couple more days before I could take Christmas weekend off and while it was super busy, I was experienced enough to know how to handle the frantic atmosphere of the customers. I was just left feeling wesry and sore after each shift, so it wasn't very rewarding. But once Ryan handed out our bonus checks for the holidays, all the hard work was worth the extra profit. After finishing an afternoon shift the day before Christmas Eve, I headed over to the department store where I hoped to find some good gifts for everyone I loved and make some happy memories. I'm hoping to make this year's Christmas a little better than last year, now that I've cut off ties with my parents and don't want them involved in my life anymore. I felt happier because of this, even though I didn't want to, but I knew it wasn't a big deal since I already have people in my life I love and who love me back.

After finding a couple of good gifts at the store, I purchased everything and was about to head home when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned to see it was Finn with an apologetic look on his face. Even though he looked sorry, I was still upset at him for what he said about Remington. I sighed as I put my stuff away in the trunk, "What do you want, Finn? I don't take it lightly when someone talks shit about people I care about." He responded with, "Yeah, I understand. I didn't mean to be such a dick, I'm sorry." I knew I shouldn't be so easy on him, but he looked too guilty like a little puppy asking his owner for forgiveness, I caved. "Okay, Finn, alright", I stated, "You're forgiven. Just please never act like that again or we're done for real. I'm a nice person but you don't want to see me at my worst." He sighed a breath of relied and nodded, "Thank you, Carina. I promise to be better. I would never want to hurt you. Or anybody you care about." I smiled at him before I offered to give him a ride back to his dorm.

When we got there, I asked him, "So, what are you doing for Christmas?" Finn turned to me and answered, "I'm traveling back home to visit my grandmother and spend the week with her as well as New Year's. She'll be so happy to see me, I'm sure it's been hard for her to see me go away for school. I'm heading to the airport tonight to get there on time." He then asked me, "What about you? Are you gonna visit our old hometown?" I shook my head and looked at my hands on the steering wheel as I explained to him, "No. That's not my home anymore. My parents couldn't even come visit me here when I wanted them to, and when they did, they attacked me for my new life. I'm spending the holiday over at Remington's mother's house with him and all our friends. I hope to have a lot of fun, just like I hope you do." He nodded and then stated, "Well, since I won't see you for a while, Merry Christmas, Carina." I grinned as I replied back with, "Merry Christmas, Finn."

I drove back home to wrap all my gifts and managed to finish before it got dark which was considered an accomplishment for me. I fed my dog, Fern, dinner for the night and made myself some pasta. I thought about Finn going back home to the only family he has left for the holidays and I wanted to be happy for him. But for some reason, I felt...bitter toward him. He gets to have a loving family to go home to where my family makes me feel like I'm suffocating if I'm not doing what will make them happy or satisfied. Just thinking about the fact that I was much happier being away from my family instead of the other way around made me feel depressed and alone. Why couldn't they just be happy that I was happy? These negative thoughts took a toll as I felt like I couldn't stop crying and then I heard someone knocking at my door. I tried my best to compose myself as I opened the door to find Delilah and Remington there. Just seeing two people I love so much brought my tears falling down my face again, and they looked at me in concern as they closed the door behind them and sat me down on the couch in the living room.

"Carina, sweetie, what's going on?", Del asked as she gripped onto my hand, I felt Remington soothe my back by running his hand up and down. I responded to Del's question with a rather shaky tone, "I know I have you guys and everyone as my family now. But don't you find it a little embarrassing of me that I'm much happier without my parents?" They shook their heads as they joined into a group hug to help me feel better. It helped stop my crying for a bit as Remington leaned a little closer to reassure me, "Nothing is embarrassing about you, my love. You come from a broken home, but that just made your heart stronger and more capable of finding love with people who are worthy. I felt unworthy of love when my dad left our family, but our mother help us gain hope for a brighter future and when the world was against us, we found good people like you to remind us why we're worth the space we're taking up. We love you, Carina, and we'll have a great time with everyone for Christmas. Okay?" I nodded as I pulled them in for a hug and felt happy to be with my real family.