Before you disappear

Chapter 3

As he scrolled down the timeline of Weverse, Jungkook smiled at the messages of ARMY directed to him. Some were sweet, talking about how much they loved him and how he inspired them with his hard work. Others were... different. Talking about him as if he was their boyfriend, or husband, even getting into arguments with other ARMY's about how they couldn't have the same bias.

It was a weird feeling having people he didn't even know talk about him like that. Jungkook was appreciative of every ARMY and he loved them because they were there for him and BTS, but he wasn't sure how he felt about these kinds of interactions. With some messages, he checked their profile to see who they were. Not necessarily because he liked what they had written but more because he wanted to understand them and why they had written what they had.

Some used pictures of him as their profile picture. Others used a picture of themselves. He preferred the latter, because then he could see them for who they were. But he could assume as to why people preferred to use his picture. Maybe they wanted to show who their bias was. Or maybe it was simply because they didn't want to show their face on social media.

He knew there were a lot of ARMY's who struggled with self love and self acceptance and they became interested in BTS because their message was exactly about that.

Jungkook had struggled with it, too. Occasionally he would still struggle with it but that was more related to him not doing a good enough job and then being mad and disappointed in himself. He just wanted to give the best and be the best for ARMY. And one day for the woman who steals my heart.

He turned his phone off and turned onto his back. Laying in his bed, he looked up at the ceiling. Small lights of his Mikrokosmos lamp flickered across the ceiling, giving the idea that he was looking into outer space. The idea behind the lamp had been his own and the merchandise had been sold out within no time. Pretty sure that no matter what I put my name on, ARMY will buy it. It was humbling and kind of terrifying at the same time.

Jungkook glanced at his watch. It was already after midnight. Tomorrow, they would fly to their next destination on their world tour; London. Before starting their tour, they'd been rehearsing for months. Yes, rehearsing and going on tour could be brutally tiring, but ARMY would give so much energy back to them on stage that he knew things would work out just fine. He was strong, and so were the other members. It wasn't like their early days where they had been close to fainting at the end of a show. They had built up the right kind of stamina to be able to perform their high energy dance routines, mixed with slower songs, for at least an hour and a half.

Jungkook was proud at where they'd come in the years since forming the band.

His door creaked as it slowly opened.

Tae's face appeared illuminated by the faint light from the corridor behind him. "JK? Are you awake?"

"Hm-mm."

Tae came in, closed the door softly and crawled into bed next to Jungkook.

"Can't sleep?" he asked his friend.

Tae sighed. "You know how I get right before flying."

Jungkook chuckled. Even though Tae was 2 years older than him, sometimes he felt like the baby of the group. Tae loved sleeping next to one of the band members, regardless if they were about to get on a plane or not. He was someone who loved others fiercely, and showed it by being near to them. Hugs, cuddles, playfulness and falling asleep next to them were all part of Tae's daily routine.

Every one of the members had their way of showing their love for the bandmembers, who more felt like a brotherhood than a band, but the sleeping together part was what Jungkook loved most about Tae.

"Why are you still awake?"

Jungkook heaved a sigh. "Just thinking about ARMY. I hope they'll like the show we made for them."

Tae lay on his side, watching Jungkook stare at the ceiling. "You worry too much, Cookie. You'll do fine. You're the Golden Maknae, remember?" He suppressed a yawn, and then closed his eyes. "Everything you do is close to perfection. ARMY sees that. That's why they always choose you to be number one, and not me. Even though I'm more handsome."

Jungkook's lip twitched into a half smile at the joke. "We both can't match Jin's handsomeness." He changed his voice imitating Jin's. "He's World Wide Handsome, you know?"

Tae chuckled, but didn't open his eyes. "He is, but you're ARMY Handsome." His voice slowed down as he spoke those last words.

Jungkook turned to look at his friend who seemed close to falling asleep. A pinch of jealousy struck him. He, too, wanted to be able to fall asleep so easily, but worry got the best of him. He inhaled and then slowly exhaled, trying to calm his nerves.

Tae's arm reached out and wrapped around Jungkook's waist, and he pulled himself closer. "Don't worry, Cookie," he whispered. "Just close your eyes and listen to my breathing as I fall asleep."

"As long as you don't snore," Jungkook joked, glancing down at his friend.

Tae didn't respond as the rhythmic sound of his slow but steady breathing filled the room.

Jungkook smiled and closed his eyes. 

***

Author's note

Perhaps by now you'll realize this isn't going to be a story where you're instantly thrown into the drama or a sweet romance. I wanted to try something different because I personally love stories that are slowburners. It's like watching Korean dramas, right? The anticipation is what makes a story work so well ! You're all just working towards that one moment where everything changes and when things finally come together it is just SO satisfying! 

But... in case you're rolling your eyes right now and you want to get to the good part...: starting from chapter 18, things will spiral out of control. BUT before you hop on over to that chapter, please know you might miss some vital character information and BTS "bonding time". Just a head's up for ya!  ;)