Before you disappear

Chapter 62

The dress was a perfect fit. It hugged me in all the right places, but it was a bit tighter around my hips than I had expected which made me slightly insecure.

I'd always had issues with my body image, even though things had certainly improved A LOT over the last few years. Three years ago, I'd started exercising regularly and eating healthy, and during the first year I'd booked a call with a professional once every month to talk about my mental health.

Even though the phone calls were no longer a necessary part of my monthly routine, I kept going to the gym and maintaining a healthy eating schedule.

Funnily enough, being here in Oslo and having Jungkook so close, I considered booking another phone call. There were a lot more insecurities to deal with now that this beautiful man had shown interest in me. ME. Just a normal woman who didn't have anything special.

And yet, this plain woman had switched places with the most beautiful man on the planet. Whoever had made that decision, must've been either drunk or in a playful mood.

I chuckled at the imagery, and glanced back at my reflection in the standing mirror.

Yes. The dress was beautiful, and it made me feel beautiful. Wasn't that all there was to it?

But aren't I overdressed?

I glanced over my shoulder at the other outfits, one too comfy to take outside, the other unsuitable because I'd worn it yesterday. I didn't like wearing the same outfit two days in a row. I always preferred to use a nice smelling clothing spray on it and let it hang to dry for at least a day before wearing it again.

My alarm went off, signaling it was time to go downstairs and meet Hye-Jin in the lobby. No more doubting. I could always go look for another set of clothes later today. For now, this had to do.

I took my jacket and my handbag and left my room.

Hye-Jin wore a bright pink jacket on top of a black turtleneck and oversized jeans. Two large earrings dangled on her ears as she turned around to the elevators, just as I stepped out. Smiling brightly, she leaned back and made it very clearly she looked me up and down.

"Giiirrlll!! That dress looks so good on you!"

Several people turned their heads at Hye-Jin's statement and I could feel my cheeks heat up at all the attention. Quickly, I made my way over to her.

"I do feel a bit overdressed," I confessed quietly, so only she could hear.

Hye-Jin shook her head. "You're fine! There are so many people walking around in these type of dresses, but none are as pretty as yours! Don't worry. You won't stand out."

I looked at the people around me. Yes, some wore dresses but none seemed as colorful as mine. Still, I wanted to trust Hye-Jin. And if I did stand out, why would it matter? Had I not heard countless times during my phone call sessions that what people thought about me shouldn't matter?

In one of the sessions my therapist had given me the assignment to write down the names of the people whose opinion actually mattered. There'd been only a handful.

Though right now, 7 more names had appeared on that list. 7 names that hadn't been there before because I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd ever meet them, let alone have a chance to talk to them and get to know them.

Well, perhaps I should say 8, because Hye-Jin's opinion matters, too.

Hye-Jin hooked her arm around mine and pulled me along. Once outside of the hotel, she hailed a cab like a pro and gave the name of the restaurant where she had booked our breakfast slot.

As we sat in the cab, Hye-Jin talked about the concert and all the preparations that went on before the guys would go on stage. I was intrigued by the whole process and asked several questions, to keep her talking, all the while trying to fix my dress as I felt more and more uncomfortable by the fact that sitting made the fabric roll up.

"Will you stop fidgeting with your dress?"

Hye-Jin's sudden change on topic, shook me. Instantly, my face turned red. "I-I'm sorry."

She tilted her head as she looked at me.

"You have the perfect body type for a dress, but you don't actually wear a lot of them, do you?"

I grinned sheepishly. "What gave it away?"

"I guess that settles it then."

I frowned. "Settles what?"

"The rest of my and your morning. After breakfast, we're going shopping!" Her eyes lit up as she clapped her hands enthusiastically.

Her happy nature made me laugh. "You really love shopping don't you?"

"I do!" Hye-Jin leaned closer, holding up a credit card which she took out of her pocket. "Especially if I can get to spend other people's money."

"Wait. Whose credit card is that?" I asked, then shook my head. "No, if we're going to buy clothes, I don't want anyone but me to pay for them."

"Don't be silly. There's enough money on this card. You're here as a guest, so let us treat you as such. Besides, who packed your bag before coming here?" She raised one of her eyebrows and winked at me.

My breathing faltered. How could she possibly know...?

"JK told me that you came to the airport directly from the hospital. He said he'd booked the first available flight, not letting you go home to grab some outfits for the trip. He even said he was responsible!" Hye-Jin laughed out loud.

I chuckled, feeling my nerves lessen. It would've been weird had she known JK was actually the one who packed my bag for this trip. But it did surprise me that Hye-Jin had talked to JK about her lack of clothing, and that JK actually took responsibility for it.

Hye-Jin tapped on my knee. "Don't worry about the money. Honestly. JK is totally fine with it. He said so himself. He wants you to feel comfortable, and seeing you in this dress I know that is not a word you'd describe yourself with right now. Am I wrong?"

I slowly shook my head. "But I do feel very pretty in it!" I added quickly. "It's just that... You're right, I'm not used to wearing dresses. I usually only wear them on very special occasions, like a wedding or so."

"Isn't being with us a special occasion?"

"Well, sure it is!" I frowned at my own contradiction and then grinned. "But it's also new territory for me. I mean, me being who I am and then having you guys here with me. It's pretty overwhelming at times."

Hye-Jin smiled. "I get that, I do. But you have to remember, we're all just normal people. The situation we're in might come across as abnormal, yes. Certainly something that not everyone will ever experience in their lives, but the people in it are just as normal as you are."

I nodded. "You're right. I know..."

"But still, you love the idea of having different clothes, don't you?" Hye-Jin finished for me.

The knowing look she gave me made me laugh. "I can't disagree there."

"Good, then let's go shopping after breakfast. I have a few ideas of outfits that will look amazing and you'll feel comfortable in them. Trust me."

"Weirdly enough, I do trust you. Even though we just met."

"I know, right?" Hye-Jin clapped in her hands.

As the cab took a turn and slowed down, the cab driver spoke up. "Ladies, we're here. Kumi restaurant."

Hye-Jin paid for our fare as I stepped out to look at the restaurant. It looked stylish and beautiful, and expensive. Biting my tongue, I decided to not say anything about it. Hye-Jin had invited me to come along and money wasn't an issue, so why not just enjoy it? 

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