Before you disappear

Chapter 20

Unsure of how long I'd been in the silent darkness, I heard a soft noise humming. It was as though someone from afar had turned on a radio, cranking up the volume as they came closer. My mind was fuzzy, and unclear thoughts started to surface. At first, I couldn't make sense of them. It was just static noise.

"We need to wait until he regains consciousness," a voice said.

"Will he wake up though?"

"Let's try to focus on the positives for now. He's been through a lot and his body needs time to heal from the surgery."

Confusion grew as I listened to the two male voices. The one talking about the surgery was clearly the authority. Perhaps a doctor? The other one sounded younger. But the main question that surfaced was: Who were they talking about?

"His arm had been twitching before he collapsed. Was that a sign...?" The voice trailed off and a sigh followed.

"It could be," the authoritarian voice said. "But it doesn't do good to dwell on that. It's always in hindsight that we think we could've done something, but in reality, most wouldn't even have noticed seeing someone's arm twitch like you described. Usually what happens is that the signals are so insignificant that only a medically trained person will tie them together. So, please don't feel bad about this."

"Thank you, doctor."

Doctor! So, I had to be in the hospital! But... why? What happened to me? My mind didn't give me any answers. Everything was a blur. The last thing I remembered was going from the bookshop to the concert. Had I actually arrived there? Had I been in an accident on the way there?

"I'll come back later to check up on him."

Irritation rose. Who are they talking about?

From the sound of what I assumed were footsteps, I gathered the doctor was leaving. So, was it just the younger guy in the room now?

Where is my friend?

I wanted to see if she was here, in the room, but I still felt detached from my body. I didn't feel any sensations and when I willed my hand to move, nothing happened.

Why can't I just open my eyes?

Anxious thoughts started to surface. What if no one was here for me? What if they were just talking about some guy who was in the same hospital room as me? Perhaps I was just a Jane Doe to them!

I wanted to shake my head, as a way to stop my thoughts from spiraling. IF I'd been in an accident before arriving at the concert, someone surely would've called my friend to let her know what happened, right? I mean, her number was in my phone and I always brought my phone with me, wherever I went.

But wouldn't they just call my emergency contact? My friend wasn't my emergency contact. I had my sister listed in my phone as that.

Instantly, I thought of how my sister would respond to such a call. I imagined her running through the house to pack a bag, screaming at her husband to take her to the airport, paying an obscene amount to get the first flight out and then hopping on a plane to London.

Oh my God, she's going to be so worried. And she's going to kill me.

I needed to find a way to wake up.

"I'm sorry you're going through this."

The voice was way too close not to be aimed at me, but this was a different voice than before. The first voice had a deeper tone. This sounded more... nasal?

"I wish I'd stopped you before you went on stage."

On stage? Why would I be on stage? He was definitely not talking to me. Perhaps the person he was talking to lay directly next to me?

"I knew something was up. I just knew it, but I didn't do anything about it."

The guilt in his voice made me feel sorry for him. Whatever happened to the person he was talking to, had made him feel responsible.

"I'm so sorry, JK."

My breathing faltered. JK? Did he mean Jungkook? As in JK from BTS? Was JK from BTS laying next to me?

I wanted to laugh at my own silliness. Get a grip. It's just a dude with the same nickname.

No way that the JK I knew would be lying right here, next to me. Then who would this guy be, talking so sweetly? Jimin?

If I'd been awake, a snort laugh would've followed and the notion of having two BTS members in the same vicinity of me would be shrugged off. But since I wasn't awake, it was nothing but silence and the notion remained.

"I wish you'd open your eyes so we know you're okay."

Another voice? Where did all of these people come from? Was this person speaking to me? The voice didn't sound familiar.

"It's already been three days. How long will this take?"

"We don't know. His vitals are good, and we see a lot of brain activity-"

Wait. That's the doctor's voice. When did he get back? Did time pass and I hadn't noticed? Had I fallen into the silent darkness again?

I need to wake up.

A soft moan sounded and it startled me. Did I make that noise? But that question was answered instantly by the response of the people in the room.

"JK? Are you awake? You're in the hospital, bro. You're okay."

"Let's not overload him at this point," the doctor's voice said. "If he wakes up, he'll probably be confused, so please inform me when he wakes up, okay?"

"Okay, yes. I'm sorry." The guilt written voice with the nasal undertone spoke softly and my heart ached hearing it. Why did he sound so sweet and innocent? He was definitely still young. Maybe even younger than me.

Another soft moan. This time I was sure that had come from me. Ha! Whatever that other person did, I could do it, too! So, now I could get their attention and someone would come look at me, right? Perhaps I could try to move something. Did I feel sensation in any of my limps yet? My fingers against the bedding? My head against the pillow?

I tried to recall what it felt like whenever I woke up and became aware of my surrounding. I just had to find a way to mimic that.

"His finger moved! Did you see that?"

I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course, HIS finger moved. Why was he trying to steal my spotlight? I was here, doing my best to wake up. Why aren't they looking at me? Why aren't they aware of what I'm trying to do here?

I focused on my hands. The sensation of my fingers against the soft fabric of the bedding. Was I just imagining this, or did I actually feel the bedding?

"He's doing it again."

I heaved a sigh. Sure. He's doing it again. What about me?

Anger overtook me and a surge of energy blazed through me as determination took over.

Wake up. Open those eyes. Tell them to look at you. Tell them you exist, too!

I focused on my eyelids, trying to become aware of them. And then I opened my eyes and blinked as the blurred image before me slowly came into view.

A familiar face appeared.

"JK? Are you awake?"

***

Author's note

I had so much fun writing this chapter!  I hope you like it, too! Next chapter, hopefully, will be up later today or tomorrow! 

In the meantime, tell me what you think! I'm dreading no one reads this, or enjoys this much... Let me know okay? :)  I'd be so happy to hear from you!