Before you disappear

Chapter 30

My heart was pounding heavily inside my chest as we walked the remaining distance to my room. Knowing who would be waiting inside had my internal fangirl mode screaming.

Stay calm. They're just normal guys.

I rolled my eyes. There was nothing normal about these guys or this situation. I couldn't help but feel completely unworthy, and having Jin's arm wrapped around my waist as he guided me wasn't helping.

I took back my hand around his neck, and stopped walking.

Jin turned to look at me, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"I want to walk the rest by myself," I tried, though I didn't like that my voice sounded so fragile. "Just give me a second."

Knowing Jin was always quick to give a retort, I expected him to object but he remained silent for which I was glad.

"You don't need to act so tough all the time, you know."

His words hit me like a ton of bricks and I wanted to break down crying. A lump in my throat had formed but only now I became aware of it.

I shook my head and clenched my jaw. "I need things to go back to normal. I just want this to be over with."

Without looking at Jin or waiting for him to respond, I gathered every bit of strength I had left in me. Then, I pushed the door open to my room and walked in.

Five sets of eyes gazed at me as I stood face to face with Yoongi, RM, Hobi, Tae and Jimin. Some whispered Jungkook's name, others held up their hand to guide me as I made my way to my bed and laid down.

Jimin was quick to help me with the pillows in my back, so I could sit comfortably. I glanced up at him to give a faint smile of appreciation, but didn't dare to look at the other guys. I could feel their eyes on me, assessing me heavily and it made me even more nervous than before. Would they realize I wasn't the Jungkook they knew? Would the notice I acted differently?

No one dared to move and for an outsider, it must've looked like we were frozen in the moment.

Tae was the first to break through that moment as he closed the space between us and wrapped his arms around me. His hug was everything I thought it would be and more. So warm, so comfortable and one of the best hugs I've ever had.

"I was so worried," he whispered.

Soon, other hands and arms appeared, folding around me. A group hug with BTS.

I was glad I was sitting down, because I was sure my legs would've otherwise caved under me. A fangirl's dream, yet from what I'd seen of BTS, this kind of affection was normal for them. I had to pretend to not freak out, even though my heart was pounding so hard against met chest that it physically started to hurt me.

A soft moan escaped my lips, instantly alerting Tae who was closest to me. As he backed away slightly, it caused a ripple effect and the other members distanced themselves as well. His eyes demanded my attention, so I looked up at him. Okay? he mouthed and I nodded slightly.

"How did the tests go, Kookie?"

I took a deep breath at Hobi's question and shrugged. "I think fine, I feel good," I answered but as Jin shot me a look, I quickly corrected myself. "I mean, all things considered."

"What happened, bro?" Tae asked as he sat on the side of the bed. "One moment, you were fine. The next, people were trying to get your heart-" He looked away, biting his lower lip.

My heart ached when I saw him holding back his tears. As in a reflex, I leaned forward to grab his hand. "I'm okay now, Tae. Please don't worry."

Tae took my hand in both of his and nodded, though he couldn't speak.