Before you disappear

Chapter 71

Jungkook took a deep breath as she shut the door to the bathroom. Staying calm and collected had been a lot harder than he thought.

He'd always had this idea that men had it harder when dealing with arousal than women. But that was also because he'd always met women who'd mostly been in control. It wasn't until recent years that he'd been confident enough to take the reigns in dealing with women.

But being her, experiencing how her body responded to a heated scenario, made him feel in awe of the restraint that he'd been shown by previous women who'd come close enough. And he knew why – the thoughts in his mind always disappeared whenever he was with someone. But being in her body, those thoughts hadn't fully disappeared. They kept surfacing, trying to hold him back by whispering about the right timing, trusting the other and not wanting to be seen as an object.

Was that something a lot of women went through? Or was it just her?

It was weird to hear these thoughts in the back of her mind. He hadn't heard those before, at least not that he could recall so vividly. Was that also part of the switch – experiencing the female thoughts?

Was she experiencing his thoughts as well?

The way she had responded when he stopped her, the harsh tone in her voice, was something he hadn't experienced from her before. Then again, he hadn't been in this kind of moment with her before. This moment right before they'd lose everything to each other.

He could definitely see her response as how he'd react when put in that situation. Once you go over a certain line, you don't want to stop. And that line certainly was close or even crossed at that point...

Jungkook felt a familiar throbbing in his lower region, yet it was a little different than his own experience. He could control this, whereas if he'd been in his own body he most likely might've had to finish it by himself.

His eyes widened as he looked at the closed bathroom door. Would she be in there... finishing?

The thought both shocked and aroused him.

I want to be in there if she does.

Jungkook chuckled at the thought, then pushed it away. This visualization did not help calm him down. His heart was beating so hard against his chest, that he couldn't stop a soft moan from escaping his lips.

Calm down. Think about something else for now.

That seemed easier said than done. Her mind certainly was a lot more vivid than his own. The images that kept popping up, made it hard for him to close this chapter. But he had to – for now. Once she got out of the bathroom, cooled off, he couldn't be in that same state as before. There needed to be a talk about what to do, at least for tonight and tomorrow.

Fortunately, there was no concert on the schedule but they did have an interview at a local radio station and after that they'd head towards the airport for their flight to Rome. Their next concert would be in two days...

What would happen if we don't switch before then?

He could coach her through the interview since he could just use his lack of English skills to not be as active in answering, but performing a concert was completely new territory for the both of them. You couldn't fake your way through that.

And then there was the matter of being with the members. Though she had done that before.

But wouldn't they notice that he was different again? Wouldn't they place her in a group meeting and then discuss it? Ask her hard questions? Maybe even test her to see if she was still the same Jungkook as they remembered?

Perhaps we should tell them.

The thought was intriguing, but at the same time, Jungkook wasn't sure if that was the right path. After all, there was a good chance that they'd think he'd gone insane and he'd be forced to see a doctor again. This time one for his mental health.

But if she proves to them that she's not me...

He took a deep breath. He couldn't make a decision about this without her. She had as much say in this as he did and perhaps, while she was in the shower, she came up with ideas how to go about their unique situation.

Jungkook stared at the clock on the night stand. It was almost 1 AM. Normally after a concert, he would've been asleep by now. But since he was inside her body and she'd had a bit of rest before he showed up in her bedroom, he was fine.

He glanced at the door again. But was she?

He resisted the urge to go over to her and knock on the door. Instead, he climbed out of bed to put on a warm vest and some socks. The shirt she'd been wearing was fine for sleeping, but once outside the comfort of her blankets, he felt a bit cold.

He glanced at his reflection. She was wearing a red panda PJ. A red shirt on top of a grey pants with little panda's scattered all over the fabric. The cuteness factor was high and even though Jungkook had never been a fan of these kind of PJs, he actually liked it on her. But it also pushed forward an idea he wanted to work out if he were to stay inside her body for a few days. Especially now that it was clear she'd stay with them until they switched back.

After all, he couldn't leave her now, and he was sure she didn't want him to either.

So the idea forming in his head seemed the best way to act as though he was her. And that would revolve around shopping for clothes since the clothes she'd brought wasn't much and the clothes Hye-Jin had bought her could only last her maybe a few days.

He chuckled softly, as he covered the red panda shirt with a hoody he found in her closet and sat down to put on some fluffy socks to cover her cold feet.

The sound of a shower being turned off made him aware that it wouldn't take long before she came back out, so he grabbed her phone from the night stand and went into the living room area. There, he opened a music app and hit 'shuffle'. The song started somewhere in the middle, but that didn't matter. The first notes were instantly familiar.

Jungkook glanced at the screen and read the title. 'Heartbeat'. He smiled. Their song. She'd been listening to this song before going to sleep. It was a song he'd heard a lot of ARMY about. A song that had made a difference in their lives.

Jungkook liked the song more because of that. He always wanted to make a difference in people's lives. Music could do that, and he was proud to be a part of changing people's lives, even if it was just a small part.

He wondered why this particular song was so special to her. And which other songs had a meaning to her. He wanted to talk to her about that, because what you love about certain songs told a lot about who you were and in which phase of your life you were. And he was keen to learn more about her.

The thought of having her with him for a little longer, now that they'd switched, made him feel warm inside. Before tonight he hadn't been sure of how she would stay around. After all, she could just up and go, and he wouldn't have been able to stop her. There was no real reason to, other than wanting to get to know her. But if that hadn't been the case for her...

Now, after tonight, he knew that scenario wouldn't have happened. She wanted to be with him and get to know him, just as must as he wanted to be with her and get to know her. But whether this meant they were going to turn this into a relationship, he wasn't sure. Partially because as idols they weren't supposed to date anyone, let alone start a relationship. Their image was to be of single men.

As ARMY, he was sure she knew that and she would respect that, too.

And being in a relationship with an idol took a lot more than just being able to deal with the constant traveling, long training days and being in the spotlight. It also involved dealing with fans, their support and their jealousy.

Jungkook shook his head. They weren't at that point yet, so why think about it? Right now, the more important question was, could she deal with being an idol?

She was a kindhearted soul, not used to the spotlight. Could she make it work? 

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