Before you disappear

Chapter 46

My heart was pounding heavily inside my chest as I felt the plane descend. Checking in and boarding for the flight to Oslo went by in a daze. Even being on the plane as we flew to this unknown destination had me in a state of freeze.

What the heck am I doing?

It was the one thought that kept popping up while the hours of the flight went by.

I hadn't dared to send a text to Jungkook's phone, telling him that I was coming to Oslo. I guessed, part of me wanted to leave the option open to turn back if my nerves got the best of me. I didn't want to disappoint him, or give him the impression he now had to take me under his wings or something. He had enough to deal with as is.

Besides, I was an independent woman and I could figure this out by myself. 

And then the plane landed and the realization hit me that I was in an unknown destination with only the name of the hotel where I knew the guys would be staying. I had no idea where the hotel was, or even how to get there. And what did I imagine would happen if I got to the hotel? It wasn't like the person behind the reception desk would just show me to Jungkook's room if I asked them to, now would they?

I am insane for even being here. I didn't think this through at all.

Fear grew inside my chest as I tried to remain calm. Deciding then and there that if I made it to the hotel without my fear taking the best of me, I'd call Jungkook's phone and ask when and where he could meet me. Getting to the hotel would be the challenge.

I can do this.

Taking a deep breath, I rose from my seat and got off the plane. 

Most of the passenger went directly to the baggage claim area but since I had no luggage other than a small handbag with an extra set of clothes, I could go straight to the Arrivals Hall.

Looking up at the signs – all in Norwegian, which I didn't understand – I tried to decipher where to go next. Would it make sense to go to the city center of Oslo and perhaps find a tourist office of some sort that could point me in the right direction? Without knowing the location of the hotel, that didn't seem like a good idea.

I need to find someone here, at the airport, to point me in the right direction.

My heart was beating so loudly in my chest right now, that it caused my head to spin. Softly whispering to myself to keep breathing seemed to help a little, even though I had the extra task of ignoring the people who started to stare at me.

I must look like a crazy person.

Pushing the thought away, I walked into the main area and the hustling and bustling of a busy airport. A restaurant, tourist shops and several places to have a cup of coffee or something else were on the edges of this area. I tried looking over the heads of people passing me by to see if there was anything that looked like a sign that said 'tourist information'. A big 'I' popped up, right next to a picture of a train. Was that the I for information?

I turned on my heels to walk towards the sign instantly bumping into someone. "Oh, I'm so sorry," I said, raising my hands to their arms and distancing myself from them.

"What are you doing here?"

The familiar voice caused my insides to turn cold instantly. I blinked as I looked up at the person before me. Her hair seemed brighter red, but the look in her eyes was still as cold as I remembered.

Amber.

Her name sent shivers down my spine.

She was the ARMY girl who'd teased me about liking Jungkook when I first arrived in London. She was the girl who'd managed to get me fleeing into a bathroom and start crying there.

Seeing her in front of me, her stone cold eyes looking down on me, made me want to crumble up and disappear from sight.

I swallowed hard, but tried to compose myself.

"I could say the same about you."

She huffed, and looked around. "You're by yourself?" she asked. "Where's your friend?" She turned to look at me.

"Why do you want to know?" I dared to ask. "What's it to you if I'm here by myself or with my friend?"

"So, you ditched your friend."

A young woman tapped Amber on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper something behind her raised hand. But she was loud enough for me to hear. "That's the girl from the metro. Remember, I said it felt like someone was following us? That's her."

Amber looked the girl in the eyes, then turned to look at me. "Really? I thought you said you weren't a crazy fan, yet you follow the guys to a different country."

If her eyes could get any colder, this was it.

"I... I..."

Everything in me froze. I couldn't move, much less breathe by the way she looked at me. She was towering over me. In the back of my mind I tried to make sense of what was happening. Either she seemed to grow a few inches, or I'd shrunken down a few sizes.

Why this girl had such an impact on me was clear. She reminded me of my high school bullies. She forced me into those same feelings of dread. There wasn't anything I could do, because whatever she did, my internal dialogue, my whole body, responded in a submissive way.

"What are you, a stalker?!"

Her voice was shrill as she yelled the words, but I only half registered it as I saw her hands raise as in slow motion.

My brain went into overdrive. What is happening? Why can't I move?

Her hands reached forward, making contact with my chest. As she pushed me with a force that I hadn't anticipated, the slow motion feeling stopped and I stumbled backwards. I tried to maintain my balance but failed miserably and fell down on the ground. Pain stung in my hip as it hit the hard floor and by pushing my arms up, I managed to protect my head from hitting them instead of the same floor.

But the fall had caused my glasses to fly off my nose and my vision was instantly blurry.

Two hands grabbed me by my shirt and raised me up from the ground. "Don't you know it's not okay to follow people around? Do you think BTS likes having stalkers? And do you think ARMY will let you stalk them?"

"Amber, don't you think..?"

"Zip it!"

I could tell the other girl, whose name I didn't know, tried to talk Amber down, but the redhead was enraged. And all her anger was directed towards me.

"Haven't I already told you JK doesn't want you? You're ugly. You're fat. Why are you even trying?" She leaned closer to whisper something only I would hear. "He's mine. Not yours."

Tears were stinging in my eyes. It was the only response my body could muster and I hated it. I didn't want to seem weak, but with this woman towering over me, I felt trapped inside myself.

I wanted to look around and see if I could find help, but I couldn't move. Wasn't there anyone who saw what was happening? Who'd dare to help me?

No one came. I was alone. Everyone was minding their own business. No one was aware of what was going on here. I had to take care of this myself. And I was failing miserably. 

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