Before you disappear

Chapter 40

Several feverish dreams haunted me during that early morning sleep. One was with a fan chasing me and throwing things at me, but then cornering me and pushing herself against me.

I'm not Jungkook, I wanted to say, but she wouldn't let me as her hand pressed against my lips.

"You're mine."

Her voice lingered as the image changed and I ended up in a bed in some shabby motel room. I looked down at my body, Jungkook's body, noticing I wasn't wearing any clothes. My skin glowed from the sweat trickling down and my breathing was rapid and irregular.

Movement underneath the blanket, covering me from my waist down. Jungkook's face appearing from beneath.

"Was that as good for you as for me?" he asked hoarsely.

The insinuation of that question was enough to abruptly wake me up from the dream.

I panted heavily, unsure why I was feeling hot and cold at the same time.

Something heavy lay across my chest. I looked down, noticing an arm and then Tae to my left. He snored softly.

Feeling a little uncomfortable, I looked back at his arm but noticed something behind it. A bump.

My eyes bulged as I realized what was going on. The hot and cold flashes. The panting.

I need a cold shower. Now.

As gently as possible, I took Tae's arm from my chest and made sure he didn't wake, before quickly making my way to the bathroom.

As I tried to calm the strained muscles in my body, I thought back to the dreams I'd had. I of course knew that guys sometimes woke up, feeling aroused, but as I never experienced it myself, this had me quite flustered.

What if Tae had been awake and noticed what was going on?

I pushed the thought away. It was highly likely that probably would've happened in the past. Especially since all the guys had been sleeping in the same room when they first started.

I don't need to make a big deal out of this.

Chuckling, I turned on the hot water and let it soak my hair and face. This turned out quite the unique experience.

A knock sounded on the door, just before it opened. "JK?"

Frozen in place, I held my breath and waited for Tae to appear but he remained behind the door. "Yeah?"

"I'm going downstairs for breakfast. See you there?"

"Sure, I'll be there in a few!"

"Okay." Tae closed the door and I exhaled slowly. My eyes darted down, bulged and quickly looked up again. I was getting way too comfortable in JK's body.

It'll be over soon. In a few hours I'll meet him at the airport and hopefully we'll be able to switch bodies so no one has to find out.

I did wonder though what would happen if we managed to succeed switching. Would it be a 'Thanks' and 'See you later' kind of thing, where he'd go back to the guys and I'd be back at being just a fan? Or... my mind started wandering through the possibilities. It couldn't be just a thank you and goodbye. We've been inside each other's bodies for about a week now. I didn't know about JK, but I sure wanted to talk about my experiences and he would be the perfect person to discuss this with as he understood what I went through. But... what if he didn't want to? What if he just wanted to forget everything that happened, me included?

I swallowed hard.

Could he really be that cold?

I didn't want to think about him like that. He didn't seem like that type, but I couldn't be sure how he would react in this situation. It was the weirdest situation to be in. Anyone could be completely different going through this.

My breathing had sped up once more because of the thoughts racing through my mind.

Calm down. Just calm down.

I had to remind myself not to start assuming the worst, even though that seemed to be the default setting in my brain. I didn't know what would happen. It was best to just let things come as they come.

Worst case scenario... I still had JK's phone number. If he was going to leave me stranded, I could always just call or text him. At least, until he'd get a new phone number.

After showering and getting dressed, I made my way downstairs. Noises came from the kitchen, and I braced myself for the impact of having all the BTS members in my vicinity once more. As I walked in, the first voice I heard was Jimin's, calling out my name.

"Kookie!" He wrapped his arm around me, laying his head on my shoulder and looked up at me. "How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"

"I did," I replied, glancing at Jin who held out a cup of tea for me. "Thanks."

"Are you ready for the flight?" Hobi asked as he waved him to come closer. "All packed?"

I blinked, but before I could respond, Tae had already answered. "I packed his bag. He's good to go." He gave a small smile, which I returned awkwardly.

"Come, let's eat," Jin said as he gently guided me toward the kitchen table where the other members were already enjoying their breakfast.

I took a seat next to Yoongi, who nodded at me. His way of saying good morning. I nodded back, and looked at the meal before me, trying to decide what to go with first.

"Well, this is a first."

Namjoon's voice made me look up at him. He chuckled as he looked at me. "You never take long to decide what to eat," he said.

I laughed nervously. "Oh, I just want to make sure to eat light. You know, with the flight coming up." I frowned. "Is that not okay?"

Namjoon raised an eyebrow. "Of course, it is. Just eat what you like."

I looked at the food before me, finding the decision even harder now that the members were watching me.

Feeling the tension in me rise, I ended up just grabbing the first thing that came in view: fruit. I filled my cup with mango, pineapple and strawberries, ignoring the looks the guys were shooting at each other from across the table.

Why were they so silent? Every time I'd seem them eat on a Vlive or in a video, they'd been noisy. Talking, laughing and cracking jokes. What was different this time?

Me. I'm different.

The tension in me was starting to get to me. I didn't think I could do this for much longer. Once I met Jungkook, I needed to make sure that we'd switch bodies. Today had to be the last day of this strange situation.

***