Before you disappear

Chapter 69

"She seemed very tired, so she might be asleep."

Jungkook nodded at Sehun's words as he passed his own room and walked towards hers. "I'll be quiet," he said, more to himself than to Sehun. He took out the keycard of her room and came to a standstill before her door.

Glancing sideways, Jungkook noticed Namjoon standing in front of his own room. Their eyes met briefly and Namjoon gave a single nod, before disappearing into his room.

Jungkook took a deep breath.

Just an hour ago the concert ended and Jungkook had wanted to find her and ask what she thought of the show. Finding her missing backstage had made him realize how much he had depended on her presence there, and how much he wanted to see her and talk to her.

Entering her backstage room and not finding her there had made his heart ache. The room felt cold without her there.

Namjoon had taken him back to their backstage room, promising they'd go back to the hotel soon so he could go see her. But the minutes ticked by so terribly slow and it seemed that people were almost purposefully taking their time and procrastinating.

Several times Jungkook wanted to leave them behind, find Sehun and demand he'd take him to the hotel right away. Hobi had noticed Jungkook fidgeting and pacing the room, and he had made a joke. One steel glance from Jungkook had made him stop laughing, though in the end it was Jungkook who'd apologized to Hobi after Namjoon had set him straight.

"It's clear you want to go see her, but you have responsibilities here. There is a certain order of how we do things after a show and there is no reason for you to be cold to anyone, especially the other members, because of your impatience."

Namjoon's words resounded in Jungkook's head as he stood in front of her door. What was it about her that made him behave that way?

"She was kind of out of it when she came backstage. Bumped into me, like she wasn't even looking. It seemed she was anxious or at the least overwhelmed by something."

The memory of Sehun's words made it clear why Jungkook had felt rushed to go see her. Worry. That was the reason for his behavior. He was worried about her.

Now, standing in front of her room, he hesitated to go in. He looked at the keycard in his hand. Perhaps he needed to ask for her permission first. He couldn't just barge in. That didn't feel right.

So he knocked. First softly, barely noticeable, and it made him wonder if she would even have heard it. So, he knocked again. This time a little louder.

But still no reply.

The worry in his chest swelled up. What if something had happened, after Sehun had left her in her room. What if the anxiety had turned into something bigger, affecting her weakened heart? What if...?

The hesitation to use the keycard evaporated as several what ifs shot by, and before Jungkook knew it he'd used it to open the door and get access to her room. The door clicked shut behind him. Jungkook's breathing was shallow as he took a few steps into her room. Only a few dim lights were turned on, but enough to see where to go.

A shape lay hidden under the covers on the bed.

Jungkook's eyes focused on the shape, trying to figure out if it were just the covers bundled up or if someone was underneath them. And then the shape moved and her face appeared from underneath the covers as she turned around and lay on her side.

Careful not to make a sound, he came closer.

Her eyes remained closed and her lips were a little ajar as she slowly breathed in and out. Seeing her so peacefully, made Jungkook want to come even closer. He wanted to lie next to her, wrap his arms around her and have her sleep against his chest. Their hearts beating closely together. Her warm breath against the side of his neck.

Jungkook sat down on the side of the bed. Being this close to her made his heart race. He could feel the thumping against his chest – a combination of pleasure and a soft aching.

He startled as she moved a little, and a strand of hair fell before her eyes. It didn't seem to bother her, but the longer Jungkook looked at her face, the more it looked like the strand of hair was dividing her face into two sections.

He didn't like it.

He bent forward and reached his hand out to carefully brush the strand of hair back behind her ear. There. Now her face was whole again.

He smiled softly, pleased with himself, but didn't move back to an upright position. His face was just inches away from hers – a position that instigated a warmth inside his chest.

And then she slowly opened her eyes.

She blinked a few times and then their eyes locked. She didn't back away, nor seemed in any way startled to find him so close which both surprised and pleased Jungkook.

He wanted to ask her if she was okay. If there was anything he could do for her. But he didn't say anything, just kept staring into her eyes and she did the same.

Perhaps through their eye contact they did exchange a few words because Jungkook felt the worry inside his chest subdue as her eyes softened and a hint of a smile appeared on her face.

And then her fingers touched his jawline, urging him to come closer. The barrier they'd put up just a few hours ago - the unspoken promise of not kissing until they knew how to handle another switch - disappeared and Jungkook leaned forward, capturing her lips with his.

He closed his eyes, letting their kiss take over.

She opened her mouth, capturing his lower lip with hers as her warm and rapid breathing seduced him into oblivion.

He pulled her closer, causing him to fall on his back, but her lips never left his as she rose above him. The kiss melted away everything around them, only intensifying the warmth and passion between them.

For a moment, he could feel her fingers tremble against the hem of his shirt, which had slid upwards, revealing part of his abdomen. And then her hand left, and her body seemed to retreat a little. Unsure if it was just in his imagination, but adamant not to let this end, Jungkook let his hand slid down her arm, finding her hand leaning on the bed. He took her hand, simultaneously raising upright and folding his other arm around her waist as he pulled her closer.

She inhaled sharply and their lips lost their connection as she opened her eyes and looked into his. The world stopped turning. Jungkook was sure of it. As he looked into her eyes, the innocence and bewilderment were irresistible. He couldn't stop wanting to come closer. This feeling between them was intoxicating and Jungkook wanted more.

In one swift movement, he turned her towards the bed, laying her down on her back and covering her body with his all the while keeping his eyes locked with hers.

Her eyes widened and her lips formed a soft 'o' at the sudden change in position, driving his heartrate up.

He slid his fingers between hers, pushing her hands against the matrass next to her face. She raised her chin a little, blinked and then tilted her head slightly. Her lips seemed a little swollen as she pouted softly. It was the invitation he needed.

Without another thought, he captured her lips with his and deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue inside to find hers. She didn't resist him, which made him aware that she wanted this just as much as he did. Even though Jungkook sensed the warning signals in the back of his mind, all that was heard was this yearning voice saying 'just a little bit longer'. Her lips just a little bit longer between his. His tongue just a little bit longer caressing hers. Sharing a warm breath in between kisses, for just a little bit longer...