Before you disappear

Chapter 34

Annoyed, I placed the phone back on the nightstand. It had been ringing, so that meant my phone would've been turned on.

Then why isn't he answering?

I bit the lower part of my lip nervously. For us to switch places again, we needed to at least be able to connect with each other. Last night, when I called the number of my mobile phone, it went straight to voicemail. This time, it rung several times. The most logical assumption for that was that my phone had been turned off, perhaps the battery needed to be recharged, but now it was on.

So, he should be awake now. Why else would my phone be turned on otherwise?

I glanced at the time on Jungkook's phone. It was still early in the morning. Perhaps he hadn't yet woken up.

Guilt tried to force its way in me, but I pushed it down. There was no room for guilt. I was trying to find him because I could only assume he didn't want to stay in this situation any longer than I wanted to. We needed to switch back. I couldn't keep up with being Jungkook and I didn't want him to be in that position any longer either.

Thoughts about what he would think of me, and my body, surfaced. I wasn't as athletic as Jungkook. My body wasn't built for sports the way his was. Sure, I knew the advantages of exercise and I loved everything I could do, but there was a lot that I couldn't and probably would never be able to simply because of the strain it would put on my body.

I remembered the 8 weeks of intense training I'd gone through a few years ago. At that time, I wasn't aware of the limitations of my body. I just wanted to feel better in my body so I pushed it too far, thinking it was just a matter of willpower.

I ended up with torn ligaments in both my legs and forced bedrest with ice compressions as a result. There had even been the possibility of needing surgery, but fortunately with the bedrest and then the slowly starting to move again, that was avoided. Exercise was a big no no for ten weeks, so I basically was back at where I started. It was then that I found out why my body had been limited.

Would Jungkook overstrain my body and get into trouble also?

See, this is why I need to talk to him!

I reached out to grab Jungkook's phone, just as the door opened and my eyes locked with Hobi entering my room.

"Hey, you're awake!"

Instantly, I felt my cheeks warm up as I turned my face away from him and pretending I was smoothening my blanket.

"Hey," I replied hoarsely, then scraping my throat.

Hobi wasn't alone. After him, Tae, Yoongi and Jimin entered the room. "Good news, my man!" Hobi said as he tapped against my shoulder and sat down on the edge of my bed. "Namjoon is talking to the doctor and it seems that you might be cleared today!"

"Cleared?"

"Yes, leave the hospital!" Tae said enthusiastically.

"Guys, they're discussing the final results, so before we assume that today is that day," Yoongi interjected, then looked at me. "let's wait for the doctor, okay?"

I nodded slowly.

Thoughts were racing through my mind. If today was the day I'd be released from the hospital, what would happen next? Would we resume the tour with me sitting on a chair as I had suggested earlier? Right now, I was regretting that outburst. 

Everything will be new to me. 

I wouldn't know what was normal and how to act. It would seem I would've forgotten how to do tours, even though Jungkook's been at it for years and years.