Before you disappear

Chapter 18

I wasn't feeling too good. Aside from the fact that my nausea hadn't actually left since BTS had started the concert, the noise of the crowd around me started to suffocate me. Perhaps it was because of the song BTS was performing, but to me it seemed like the heat had just gone up twenty degrees.

Just like at the rehearsal, I had a hard time looking at the stage during 'Bapsae'. My heart had started racing when I first saw the provocative dance moves, and inwardly I cursed at my prudish response. It's just a dance move. Stop making more of it.

But I couldn't stop my heart from pounding violently against my chest, so hard that it actually started to hurt. I grabbed the railing with both my hands, trying to keep myself steady. My legs felt like they were almost fluid and I wasn't sure how I could stay upright. I glanced longingly at where my chair would be, but with the crowd around me, I couldn't make my way back to it.

After the song ended, I didn't loosen my grip on the railing. I still needed it for support, because my heartrate didn't slow down. Come on, calm down.

I closed my eyes to try and focus solely on my breathing, but somehow this made me feel more unsteady. So, I opened them again and focused on the men on stage. Perhaps I just needed to focus on one of them, like when you're feeling seasick being on a boat and looking at the horizon will help calm your nausea.

One by one the guys started talking about how they felt during the show, and how much they appreciated ARMY's cheers. In between their sentences, a male voice translated their message in English. Whatever they were saying drove the crowd wild.

All I could think about was how I longed to be sitting on my seat. Why can't I focus?

My friend was standing next to me, completely smitten by what Tae was saying on stage. She suddenly elbowed me, pointing at the stage and saying something but I didn't understand her. It was as if she was speaking in another language.

I smiled softly and then turned my attention back to the stage.

Sensing movement on the right side of the stage, I turned to look. Jungkook came into view. His eyes were fixated on me. I couldn't look away as my mind went silent and my breathing became shallow. As he came closer, a girl next to me started jumping and her screams pierced into me like a dagger into skin. The pain intensified in my chest, but still, I couldn't move.

I heard Tae's voice calling Jungkook. And then noticed someone coming from behind and wrapping his arm around him. He broke our eye contact and I inhaled sharply, as though I'd been under water and breaking the surface just now.

A wave of nausea followed and my legs felt even more unstable than before. My arms were shaking and as I looked down at my fingers, they were near white from hanging tightly onto the railing. I don't know how much time passed, but as the music started again, my body gave in. It happened so fast that I couldn't form the words to alert anyone. My eyes turned within their sockets and everything around me disappeared.

***

Jungkook had been able to pull it off. His final words had resulted in cheers and since he'd been the last member to speak, they went straight into their final song of the concert.

His pride of overcoming the weird sensation on stage had given him just enough energy to pull through the rest of the concert and saying his goodbyes to ARMY. He walked past the place where he'd locked eyes with that one particular girl. All the people in that section were shouting and waving at him. None stood still like the girl had. None even looked like the girl.

Had she even been there or had he somehow made her up?

An arm locked around his, and he turned to look at Jimin. Let's go, his band mate mouthed.

Jungkook blinked as he nodded, and just like that his headache returned. It was so heavy that instantly, Jungkook felt nauseous.

He braved through the last steps of the stage and as soon as he stepped backstage, his breathing faltered. A sharp pain shot through his chest, causing his legs to cave in. Simultaneously, a light switched off in his brain and he was shrouded in darkness. 

***

Author's note

I know you guys have been waiting for this moment, where it all changes, and I've asked a lot of patience from you, but a good story has to have a good beginning, right? We have to care about the characters, know a bit of their backstory and struggles and then... let all hell break loose, right? 

But hey, it's finally here! The moment where everything changes! I hope you've enjoyed the story until now because from now on, things will only get more intriguing! 

And yes, I'm going to leave you hanging right now, but that's only because I want to make sure I'll give you the best storyI can write and that you deserve!

In the meantime, let me know what you think! <3