Before you disappear

Chapter 80

As I sat across from Jimin, enjoying my rice and chicken, I could hear my laugh from the other end of the table. I turned my attention to the noise, seeing Hobi lean over the table towards Jungkook and whispering something that I couldn't hear. Jungkook laughed again.

It was weird seeing myself so friendly with guys, especially guys that I was so fond of. If it had truly been me in my body, I probably would've been more shy and held back.

But this was JK, and he already had a bond with the guys. He knew them in ways I didn't. Of course he'd be much easier in connecting with them.

Me on the other hand...

I gazed down at my plate, not sure when I suddenly had lost my appetite.

"You're not the typical ARMY we meet," I heard Jin say.

"How come?"

"Well, for starters, you have a great appetite. Most ARMY feel very aware with eating while we're around."

"But that's just because you always have something to say about the food we eat," Yoongi said. He sat on the right side of me, unbothered to look up from his plate. "It makes people self-conscious."

"When do I do that?"

"Like when I wanted to put extra soy sauce in my bulgogi, and you said that it would ruin the dish."

"That's because I made that dish adding extra soy sauce because I knew you liked that," Jin retorted, his voice high pitched and his spoon raised, "And then you come in and you tell me you wanted more soy sauce, when I am the one who made that dish specifically for you and it wasn't good enough and you added soy sauce, even though I told you it would ruin the dish, and did it? Ruin the dish? Yes!! Yes, it did!"

Anyone would've thought Jin to be angry, hearing his ranting, but Jungkook laughed out loud.

I glanced sideways, seeing Hobi's feigned shocked facial expression, and chuckled softly. They knew each other so well, and they knew how to press each other's buttons. Even if Jin was really angry, Hobi's response - copying Jin's ranting in the most comical way and then laughing so hard he might've fallen off his chair - would've melted that anger away.

"No appetite?"

Tae's voice to my left sounded low, even seductive. I suppressed the shiver that went down my spine, released by the tone of his voice. The way Tae talked when he wanted only you to hear him, had the power to overthrow any girl's resistance. It was the typical brand of a bias wrecker. Funnily enough, Tae's beauty didn't hold as much power of me, but his voice...

Realizing he was still waiting for an answer, I shook my head but dared not to say anything, scared that my voice would break and expose the power of Tae's voice over me. Instead, I pushed myself to take a few bites of the tender chicken pieces. Even though I wasn't feeling that hungry, I didn't want to make anyone worry about me.

The news of me sleeping in the van from the radio station to the hotel, had most of them already completely focused on me as it was something that "the normal, healthy JK wouldn't have done". Especially Namjoon, sitting across from Tae, seemed laser focused on me.

I need to force myself to act normal, to act like Jungkook.

Jungkook loved to eat. His body needed the nutrients, so even though I wasn't feeling hungry, I had to feed his body properly. Especially now that we were hours away from a flight to our next destination and there was a huge chance that I had to perform at the concert, scheduled for tomorrow.

The thought alone made me somewhat nauseous. I couldn't sing all of the lyrics, and my dance moves were mediocre at best. Even now that I was inside Jungkook's body, I wasn't sure if that was enough to perform the way he would. What if I made a huge mistake? What if my anxiety would hit on stage, causing me to go into my 'freeze' mode?