Before you disappear

Chapter 8

My friend pushed her suitcase at the side of her bed. "Wow, I like this room! What do you think?"

The pastel colored hotel room had two twin beds and along the window stood a desk and two seats with a small table between them. It wasn't luxurious, but it wasn't basic either.

I glanced at my friend as I sat down on my bed. My stomach growled as I searched through my backpack, looking for the sandwiches we'd bought for dinner. "It's fine, I guess."

"You guess?" My friend tilted her head. "You've been quiet ever since we left the airport. Is everything okay?"

Feeling uneasy to bring up the subject that had been bothering me, I waved dismissively. "Yes, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

The honest answer was no, I wasn't okay. But I didn't know if I could bring myself to explain why I wasn't okay. At least, not without crying again and I didn't want to do that again. Crying in the bathroom had made me feel exhausted enough as it was. I'd been able to keep a steady voice when I called my sister to tell her we'd arrived safely, but I wasn't sure if I could do that again.

"Something tells me that's not true."

My friend's soft voice shot like a dagger in me.

"You're mad at me because I didn't stand up for you, aren't you?"

I instantly stopped rummaging and turned toward her. "Look at me," I asked and she did. "I am not mad at you, okay? I'm just..." I was trying to find the words that wouldn't make me crumble underneath the emotions I was feeling. "It's not you," I repeated. "But... you don't know how many times I've had to deal with people like that and it's just... exhausting."

I found the sandwiches and opened the container, taking one of the sandwiches out and handing her the other inside the container.

She pressed her lips together as she took it from me. "You've mentioned it once, the way you were bullied back in high school," she said. "I thought about that after you went into the bathroom. I just wish I'd been able to..."

"You don't need to protect me." It came out stronger than I had wanted, so I sighed in defeat. "I just have to find a better way to shield myself and my emotions from people like her. It's a work in progress."

My friend sat down next to me. "If I hadn't mentioned your bias, then maybe she wouldn't have bullied you like that." She glanced at me. "You had a certain look on your face. You knew she was bad news, didn't you?"

I clenched my jaw, suddenly not so hungry after all, and placed the sandwich onto my nightstand. "I don't know about if I knew it, but I did have a gut feeling about her."

"Just so you know, I don't think for one second that what she said was true."

"Which part?" I whispered.

"About you not being able to get JK's attention," she said determined. "I didn't know you back in high school, but I do know you now and you are wonderful!"

I smiled sadly, unable to say anything else than a soft 'thanks'.

"And we're not going to let a girl like her ruin our BTS adventure, right?" My friend wrapped her arm around me.

"Definitely not." My friend was right. it was time to let this all go. Truth be told, I didn't want to think about that moment anymore. We were here for BTS and it was going to be an adventure. So, time to let the sadness of past memories go and look towards the future.

"Speaking of adventure," I said, changing the subject. "When were you planning on meeting your date?"

"Oh, let's see if he responded to my last message!" My friend jumped up and grabbed her phone to check her messages. "He says he's available and we could meet up at noon tomorrow."