Before you disappear

Chapter 68

They had seen Jungkook looking my way multiple times. They had seen him waving at me, and me waving back and it had triggered their full focus.

I saw them watching and pointing at me, and memories of old came rushing back. The teasing. The harsh words behind my back, loud enough to hear but once I turned around to see who had spoken them, none would look at me but all would be smirking.

A coldness rushed through my veins as I pushed the memories of my school days away. This was not the same. I was an adult, not that insecure teen from back then.

Still, I could feel their eyes on me, piercing through me, possibly trying to figure out who I was to their Maknae. But I could understand why. Not too long ago I was just like them. An ARMY who had never met the guys, let alone have their attention the way Jungkook had given his attention to me just now. And I would've been just as curious to know more about that person who captured the guys' attention as they seem towards me.

So, I tried to ignore them and enjoy the show. The songs were amazing. The guys did a fantastic job. Their energy was beyond anything I'd ever seen. Even Jungkook was on a roll, which I partially had expected but given his health, I assumed he'd take it a little easier. I could tell his routine had been adjusted to a slower pace, but Jungkook still did the movements with such power that most ARMY probably wouldn't even notice.

When the song ended, RM took the mic and started talking. It was then that I noticed avid movement from the direction of the girls who'd been staring at me.

One of the girls was pointing at the staircase that led up to the floor where I was standing. She elbowed her friend and then pointed at me. Fear suddenly gripped my heart. Could they really mean they're about to use the staircase to come up to my floor?

But wasn't this floor for VIPs? Could they really come here?

Visions of what could happen once they did come up one floor flooded over me, clenching me into a deeper kind of fear. I didn't know why these girls had this effect on me, but I was sure that my overactive imagination made the anxious feeling inside me grow quickly.

I gripped my chest, feeling my heart race what felt like a million beats per minute. It drove a sharp pain through my chest and instantly, I was thrown back into the memory of the London concert. My breathing became shallow and a darkness threatened to spill over me.

I pushed myself away from the railing and staggered towards the door that led backstage. The hallway was dimly lit, or perhaps it only seemed that way as I fought against the darkness and the anxious feeling that had taken a firm grip on my heart.

Another turn and I bumped into someone. "S-sorry," I muttered, wanting to pass the person, but two hands gripped my arms and a voice called my name, asking if I was okay.

I recognized the voice as Sehun's, and my anxiety lessened just a bit. "I-I don't know," I said. "I just want to get out of here. Like, yesterday."

"To the hotel?"

For a second, I pondered the question and tried to come up with an alternative. What about the backstage room? Even though the room was accessible for anyone backstage, Jungkook had told me no one would come there except me. Though a sudden fatigue decided against that option and I longed for a proper bed. "Yes, to the hotel, please."

Sehun hadn't spoken a word while driving me back to the hotel, but he kept a close watch on me. With every red light, his head turned slightly in my direction and I knew he checked to see if I was all right.

The only thing I'd managed to say when we got into the car was that some fans had noticed my interaction with Jungkook and that the unwanted attention had made me feel anxious enough to want to leave.

Sehun hadn't pressured me into explaining it any further, which I appreciated. Once we arrived at the hotel, Sehun helped me out of the car, linking his arm around mine to guide me towards my room. To an outsider, it might've appeared that I was intoxicated due to my inability to walk by myself, but I was too tired to see if anyone was looking at me that way.

When we arrived at the floor where my room was situated, my hand dug into my handbag. As I took out the keycard, I could feel my fingers trembling.

Sehun must've noticed too because he took the keycard from me in one swift movement. "Let me," he said, his voice unusually soft.

He opened the door and let me go in first. He took a few steps inside, then stopped. "Can I leave you here, or do you need help with anything?"

"I'm fine," I whispered, trying a smile. "I just need some rest. I'll be okay."

Sehun's eyes scanned mine, perhaps trying to decipher if I was in the right mind to make that assessment. Then he nodded. "All right," he said, holding up the keycard. "But I'll have someone check up on you in about an hour, so I'll keep this for now."

I nodded. "That's fine."

For another second, Sehun seemed hesitant to leave but then he turned and left my room.

I took a deep breath, taking in the silence of the room. Only one thing to do now and that was get to my bed.

Just moments after I climbed onto my bed, I dozed off in a deep sleep. 

***

Author's note

So, I managed to write a few more chapters! The next I'm not yet fully comfortable with, because I want this to be GOOD. So I won't share that just yet. But you'll have it within the next few days, I promise!