Before you disappear

Chapter 82

If it had been up to me, I would've pulled Jungkook along until we found a place where we could have a bit of privacy, just the two of us. But as soon as I leapt up to meet Jungkook, Sehun had ushered me back to my seat and pointed Jungkook at the empty spot next to me.

We sat there, among the chatter of the staff and the other band members. Our hands both next to our bodies, but too far away for just casually touching. Damn luxury chairs with too much space in between.

I tried my best to hold part of the conversation with the other band members, but it was hard considering Jungkook was sitting next to me, more quiet than he'd ever been. Was it really necessary for him to be all introvert and awkward now? Had we not passed that stage when he'd been so lively during dinner?

I looked around, noticing several staff members glancing in our direction. And that's when it hit me. He was acting like me, how I would behave in large crowds. At dinner, it had been just the members and us, but now the whole staff was present. And some hadn't even seen me before. Of course they were curious. And of course that would make me feel very awkward, maybe even to the point of feeling that I was trespassing by even being here.

He knows me better than I thought.

I turned to look at Jungkook, wanting to address this, but the seat next to me was empty. I looked around, trying to figure out where he'd gone to. And then I spotted him, just seconds before he disappeared behind the sign that indicated the men's bathroom.

My mouth opened, wanting to call out something along the line of 'wrong bathroom'. I bit my lip, trying hard not to let others in on what was happening. Deciding it was best to follow him, I casually rose from my seat. Tae, sitting next to me, looked up and I muttered something about going to the bathroom, after which I made my way towards where Jungkook had disappeared.

A fresh scent of a squeaky clean bathroom hit me as I walked into the room. There were three bathroom stalls, two ajar and the furthest closed.

"JK?"

"In here," I heard softly, quickly followed by the unlocking of a furthest door.

I walked up to the door, looking both left and right to see if no one else was hiding somewhere I hadn't seen upon entering the bathroom. But we were alone.

A sigh of relief escaped me as I opened the door.

Jungkook didn't face me. He leaned against the wall, holding his arm in front of his face so I couldn't see him.

"What's going on?" I asked, slightly alarmed.

"Just a headache," he whispered.

"Just like that?"

He nodded, still not turning towards me. I took a deep breath, realizing what was happening. It was a sign of my body in stress mode. I knew how to control it most of the times, because I recognized the slightest signs that told me I was getting stressed and I could act accordingly.

Jungkook didn't know these signs. He must've had them and not realize what was going on. It wasn't a huge issue, but it could result into a migraine.

I leaned behind Jungkook, closed the lid of the toilet and gently maneuvered him to sit on it. He didn't protest, but kept his hands in front of his face the whole time.

"It's the light?" I asked and he nodded.

"I don't know what happened. One minute I was fine, the next I started feeling nauseous and the light seemed brighter."

"It's the start of a migraine," I explained as I took his hands in mine and placed them on his knees. "Just keep your eyes closed for now, and keep your hands on your knees."

He leaned forward so the light coming from above didn't shine directly on his face.

Kneeling before him, I placed my hands in the curve between his neck and his shoulders. Noticing the tension had build up considerably, I gently started massaging the area.

A soft moan escaped his lips.

"It's usually stress and a lack of sleep that causes my body to respond like this," I whispered. "There are little warning signs, but you might not have been able to pick up on them."

He didn't respond, but I could tell that what I was doing seemed to help. The frown on his face seemed less darker than before.

"The headache usually fades away when I massage my shoulders and neck," I continued, then raised my hands up to the side of his face. "Placing warm hands here, next to my eyes, helps too. A light massage can help too, but the most important thing is to breathe calmly so that the thoughts in your head don't become chaotic. The thoughts can make the headache worsen."

He nodded slowly, but still didn't reply.

"Take a deep breath," I told him and he did as I asked. My hands slid down his face, neck and ended on his shoulders. "Feeling better?" I then asked.

He raised his face just a little, then opened his eyes and looked at me.

He smiled softly. "Hm-m."

I returned his smile, wanting to get up from the ground, but his hands were around my neck before I could move. He placed his forehead against mine, whispering, "Thank you."

I placed my arms on his hips, gently stroking up his back. "I usually keep a few pain relievers in my bag. Take one when you can, and drink lots of water, okay?"

He nodded, but didn't move. His breathing was deep but I could also sense something else as I was this close to him.

I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, but pushed them down. I needed to keep it together. Even when he was holding me like this. Without me knowing if his headache had subsided, or if he was still feeling a little nauseous, I needed my focus on him and not on the butterflies in my stomach and what I wanted to do with that.

He smiled softly, as though he had heard my thoughts out loud.

"Kiss me." The two words were spoken so softly, that I wasn't even sure they'd come from him.

He leaned back slightly, giving us just enough space so we could look into each other's eyes. "Kiss me," he said again.

I stretched my legs, leaning towards him in a 90 degree angle, just because his arms wouldn't budge and remained around my neck. Then I scooped him up in my arms, feeling his legs twist around my waist, and pressed him against the wall.

He groaned and closed his eyes, instantly alerting me. I was a lot stronger in Jungkook's body and I'd forgotten this for a split second. I needed to calm down, keep myself in check. "You okay?"

He smiled, opening his eyes. "This never happened to me before, being scooped up like a girl..."

I chuckled as I leaned closer. "I've never done this either," I whispered against his lips. "I didn't know you were this strong."

"Or you are this light," he teasingly breathed against my lips.

Everything in me started to shiver. It became so much harder to control myself. All I wanted right now, was to pull him even closer and kiss him for so long that time would melt away around us. I wanted to repeat this afternoon, even though the scenery had changed and wasn't as comfortable anymore. I didn't care. All I cared about was him and I, right here and now.

"No more headache?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Good," I said, as I pushed him up a little higher. "Because I don't want to hold back anymore."

"Then, don't."