Before you disappear

Chapter 32

It was dark in my room, except for a faint light coming from the hallway peeking through underneath the closed door. All the guys had left some time ago, going back to their hotel to catch some sleep. I had no idea what time it was or how long I'd been awake.

I suppressed a yawn. I was tired. My body felt tired. But I couldn't sleep because the thoughts racing through my mind couldn't shut up.

I had tried calling my phone number several times, but every time it went straight to voicemail. Leaving a message wasn't something I could do because I had no idea who would listen to it. I needed to make sure that Jungkook was the one I spoke to first.

What language would I speak though?

Seeing as I was in Jungkook's body and had no trouble speaking in Korean, it seemed only logical that that was the language I would speak. But I, as myself, didn't understand or speak Korean, so would Jungkook then not understand me?

Perhaps I should try to speak English.

Jungkook knew a few words in English, and for me, as myself, English was no problem. But how would I know if I spoke correct English? I didn't even realize at first that I had been speaking fluently Korean to the members.

Would that be the same for Jungkook? Was he speaking in my language, without realizing it? Would I be able to understand him if he started talking to me?

I chuckled. "I guess my overthinking transferred with me."

My phone beeped, lighting up the room shortly.

I leaned forward to grab it from the nightstand. A message through Whatsapp appeared and once I saw the sender's name, I smiled.

"I hope I don't wake you up, but I wanted to say I love you and wish you a good night."

Sweet Jimin. He truly was the most thoughtful member of the group.

I opened the conversation and typed a message back.

"I'm still awake. Can't sleep. But thank you for your message," I typed, then halted.

Was this what Jungkook would say? I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the doubt. It didn't matter. I'd gone through something traumatic so it was to be expected that perhaps at first Jungkook would sound a little off.

I reread the message and then added, "I love you, too" and pressed send before I could rethink the message again.

Just as I wanted to place the phone back on the nightstand, it beeped again. I chuckled. Jimin had something else to say? I opened the Whatsapp message, seeing a different name above the unread message.

Wait.

Was this a group chat?

I blinked a few times, before noticing there were 7 names in this group chat. Jimin had messaged me in the group chat?

I shook my head, turning back to the new message.

"Just close your eyes and let the thoughts roam, JK," Yoongi wrote. "If you don't acknowledge them, they'll just be background noise."

Another message appeared. "Sorry Yoongi! I didn't mean to wake you!"

"Not to worry, Jimin. I was still awake. Working on a song."

"Some people are trying to sleep."

"You still haven't set your phone on silent, Hobi?" Yoongi replied.

"And miss all of your deeply insightful messages?"

"Don't even go there, bro. You said you wanted to sleep."

"Yes, and have messages during daytime."

"Yah! Why aren't any of you sleeping? Turn your phones off. We'll talk in the morning."

"Sorry, Jin," Jimin replied.

"Yes, let's sleep," Hobi added.

"Sleep well, Cookie," Yoongi ended. "Let the thoughts roam. It's okay."

"He's not responding. Perhaps he fell asleep already."

"Tae! Don't you start!"

"Sorry, Jin. Good night all."

A smile had crept up on my face without me even realizing. I had just witnessed an interaction that made me warm inside. The way the guys interacted with each other was a sign of the brotherhood they shared. And it all had started with Jimin just wanting to wish me a good night. And say I love you.

"I love you guys," I whispered as I placed my phone back on the night stand.

The next morning I woke up from a knock on my door. A nurse entered with a plate in her hands. "Sir, are you awake? It's 9 am. I brought your breakfast."

I took a deep breath and then turned to face her. "I'm awake." I pushed myself up to a sitting position, adjusted the pillow to support my back and watched as the nurse placed the plate with breakfast on my nightstand.

She picked up the top of the nightstand, that turned out to be retractable and pushed it towards me.

The words 'Oh, wow!' slipped from my lips and resulted in her giving me a radiant smile.

"Handy, isn't it?" she said. "This way you can have your breakfast as if you're having it at a table. So much better than having the plate on your lap with the possibility of contents spilling over."

"Indeed."

The smell of fresh brewed coffee reached my nose as I looked down at the plate before me.

"I wasn't sure what your typical breakfast is, but hopefully this will suit your wishes," the nurse said half apologetically. "It's an English muffin with jam, a croissant with cheese, an apple, some coffee and a cup of tea, because I wasn't sure which you preferred."

"It looks delicious," I told her sincerely. "Thank you."

"Enjoy!" The nurse beamed as she left my room.

My stomach growled softly at the different smells. I couldn't help but wonder about how everything smelled so fresh and how surprised I was to have such a breakfast in a hospital. Somehow I had expected the same kind of food as a regular airline would provide during a flight.

As I enjoyed my breakfast, my mind started wandering again. How many days had it been since I was at the concert? How many days had it been since I woke up in Jungkook's body? The awareness of being in someone else's body had slowly diminished and when I used the bathroom yesterday, I didn't even think twice about it. Granted, I sat like a girl to do my business, but other than that, nothing weird.

Seeing Jungkook's face looking back at me in the mirror shocked me slightly, but I had taken the time to really look at his features. It seemed the perfect opportunity to stare at the person whom I found so dashingly attractive without him being weirded out by it.

I didn't know how long I'd been looking at him in the mirror, making all kinds of faces, tracing my finger along his jawline, and the tip of his beautiful nose, looking into his dark eyes and noticing the shape of his ears. A small scar on his cheek drew my attention and with a trembling finger, I touched it and traced it down.

"He really is freakishly handsome," I had muttered, before deciding to end the staring and get back into bed.

As I recalled that moment, a smile touched my face. It was weird to think about how others would now perceive me as how I perceived Jungkook. They'd describe me as handsome, they'd be staring at me as though I wasn't real. Part of me was curious to find out how I would handle fans screaming my name. But the bigger part of me didn't want to find out because what if they noticed I wasn't the Jungkook they thought I was.

Hopefully I can find the real Jungkook before it ever gets that far.

My eyes darted towards Jungkook's phone on the nightstand. Yesterday I'd attempted several times to try and connect with my phone. All without success.

Perhaps I should try again.

Even before the thought finished in my head, I had grabbed the phone and dialed the number ingrained in my memory.