Before you disappear

Chapter 19

"What happened to her?"

It was a valid question. The last thing I remembered was feeling nauseous, but after that? Nothing.

"Check her pulse."

I was quick to respond. I'm fine. You don't need to...

"I don't feel a pulse! We need to do CPR."

No pulse? Confusion hit me. I was fine. I told them. Why didn't they hear me? I opened my mouth to say something else, but then realized something was different. I didn't feel... myself. I couldn't be sure if I was actually inside my body, because I wasn't aware of any movement.

"Again. On the count of three."

"Stand clear!"

The voices seemed to come from two different people, but they sounded distorted somehow. Voices between static noise. As if they were talking through a speaker set, but the signal wasn't strong.

Wait... Where was my friend? I'd been with her this whole day. She had to be close, right? Perhaps she could tell me what had happened. I listened intently if I could hear her voice, but other than the two people and the static noise, there was no sound.

When the voices spoke again, I couldn't understand what they were saying. The words came too quick. I wanted to alert them that I was still here, but I had no idea if I even had my eyes open. If I could see anything, all I saw was darkness.

The voices spoke again, but this time they were far away. Had they left me? The atmosphere felt gloomy... not right. Even though I couldn't feel anything, I knew something was pulling me away. Everything around me became eerily silent. If I'd been able to feel my body, I was sure I'd have goosebumps everywhere.

What the heck was going on?

The eerily silence had another effect; I was slowly drifting away, as though I was falling asleep. My conscience became blurred. A final thought hit me, and it terrified me.

Am I dying?

***

When Jungkook's body went limp, Jimin moaned as the weight of his body fell against him. He couldn't hold him and threatened to be crushed underneath.

RM, who'd left the stage after them, saw what happened. He grabbed Jungkook's left arm, swinging it across his neck and pulled him up. One glance at Jungkook's pale face, and he knew this was serious. He alerted one of the staff, who came running. "We need some help here!"

"What happened?"

Jimin shook his head. "He just collapsed."

The staff member took Jungkook's right arm, freeing Jimin and wrapped it around his neck. "Let's bring him to the backstage room."

"I'll alert the medical staff," Jimin said and sped off.

"What happened?" Jin's voice sounded alarmed, but RM shook his head as they passed the eldest.

The backstage area wasn't far and as they entered the room, two people of the medical staff had already laid down a blanket for them to place Jungkook on.

One of them grabbed Jungkook's wrist and placed his fingers against his skin. "No pulse," he said, then pointed at the table. "Grab the defibrillator."

As they started working on Jungkook, RM turned to look at the other band members who all had seen Jungkook being brought in. "Come, let's give them some room," he said as he waved the others towards him.

The band members stood in silence as they watched the two medics work on Jungkook. Two times, they used the defibrillator before the words came they had waited for.

"We got a pulse!"

A collective sigh of relief went through the room, but the tenseness wasn't over yet.

"Okay," one of the medics said, "Let's wrap him in and take him to a hospital right away."

A third member of the medical staff appeared with a stretcher and helped the other two medics lift Jungkook onto it.

As Jungkook was taken out of the backstage room, the band members got ready to follow him, but RM held them back.

"First, we need to get out of these sweaty clothes, get warmed up a bit."

"But we need to know where..." Jimin tried.

A staff member handed them towels. "Don't worry. We know what hospital they'll take him. We'll arrange transportation for you guys to go there after you've cleaned up."

Another staff member came to stand next to the woman. "Clean clothes for all of you are in there." She pointed at the adjacent room where they could freshen up.

Reluctantly, the band members went towards the room she was pointing towards. Jimin was the only one who didn't move out of his spot, until Tae took his hand and pulled him along. When the door closed behind them, Hobi turned to RM.

"What happened to JK?" His eyes were large with worry. "I thought he was fine."

Jin, who stood next to him, shook his head. "He wasn't."

"He was fine yesterday, right?" Yoongi tilted his head when no one replied. "No?"

Tae bit his lip as he turned to look at Jimin. When he called his name, Jimin shook his head and kept his gaze on the door.

"I knew something was wrong," he muttered. "I just knew it. Why didn't I do something? I should've done something."

RM placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling the young member shudder underneath his touch. "Don't go there, Jimin. This is no one's fault and..." He stopped when he saw the tears welling up under Jimin's eyes. "Come here." He pulled his band member into his arms to give him a tight hug.

Jimin wrapped his arms around BTS' leader and let his tears run free.

RM replied by hugging tighter, and not just to console Jimin. He, too, was feeling the guilt. He might've been the only one who saw Jungkook's arm shiver. Had that been a sign that this was going to happen? Had he been able to prevent it, if he had sent Jungkook backstage right at that moment?

Tae came closer and wrapped his arm around Jimin and RM, quickly followed by Hobi and Jin, who pulled Yoongi in for a group hug.

"This wasn't anyone's fault," RM said, making sure he looked each member in the eye. He waited until they nodded in agreement. "The only thing we know for sure is that Jungkook collapsed."

"And that he had no pulse," Jimin whispered, tearing up again.

"But they managed to bring his pulse back," Yoongi reminded him as Tae pulled Jimin close.

"Yoongi is right. JK is strong," RM said. "He'llkeep fighting. Let's just freshen up quickly and then make our way to thehospital." 

***

Author's note

I know, I know, I should continue and I have! I'm going as fast as I can because I, too, want you ánd Jungkook to be okay!  Hang in there, guys! 

*quickly goes to write more *