We Met In Detention ✓

Thirty-Two | Hiding

this book moves slow

time moves slow

running away is easy

~Harry's POV

It was nearing up to what I planned to be my last Occlumency lesson with Snape. We'd made progress, or at least I had in deceiving him into believing I'm learning this all from scratch.

We were at the point where it only took me a second after being breached to actually clear my mind. Of course, that wasn't really the case, yet I'd fooled Snape into believing it was.

I'd been in a horrible mood all week. I was glad that it was a Friday night and I could go on my phone till the middle of the early morning, and then finally sleep for hours. 

No one disturbs me sleeping in anymore. The last person who did that got a kick to the face. Good thing Hermione knows magic otherwise Ron would've had a busted nose for the rest of his life.

Not really, but you get me.

What put me in an even worse mood was the fact that I didn't know why I was in a bad mood in the first place.

Like, why do my emotions feel like it's okay to go do their own thing without my permission. It's my emotions.

So anyways, I'd been unintentionally snapping at people by accident, including teachers. I'd probably been in about six detentions this week. Four of which were from Snape.

Now I had to go interrupt the dinner that I actually had to participate in because on the night of my first Occlumency lesson, Draco started getting crazy ideas such as me having an eating disorder.

He was right, but he didn't need to know that.

It was quite easy convincing him I didn't have one. I just told him I get full really easily and I'm incredibly picky so I don't like eating specific things. And that I prefer my own food. 

So, a few nights I'll cook us meals which Draco really enjoys, as our little date nights. I'll eat a few things, do the Cassie trick and bam he's convinced I eat.

Honestly, I think Draco's desire for me to be okay blinds the reality that I'm bullshitting everything and he's falling for it hook line and sinker.

Luckily, on Friday and Sunday dinners, I'm able to go to the toilet on my way to the lessons. That way, no one knows what I'm doing and they all assume I'm just going to see Snape.

But anyways, my mood was now even worse because I now had to eat. Throwing up was disgusting and, like most normal people, I absolutely hated it. I'd rather not eat at all, because then I don't need to throw up.

Obviously, to stay alive, I'd eat every now and then, but you get what I mean. Although, would it be so bad if I just died of starvation.

"Harry?" 

"What?" I replied harshly. I look up to see Blaise just sulking. "Sorry."

"Are you not gonna finish that?"

That question will be the death of me. My final straw. The thirteenth reason. Actually, let's be real, I'm way past thirteen reasons. How did Hannah only have so little? 

"Yes." I say bluntly and unenthusiastically finish the rest of the food on my plate. I genuinely feel like I'm about to hurl. I feel like a blowfish. I'm fat.

If I breathe too heavy I'm done.

"Oh look at the time, I guess I better go." I stand up abruptly and leave, strange looks following me till I'm out of sight.

I enter Myrtle's bathroom. 

"Eat too much again?" Myrtle is a good friend. She's probably the only person who knows about me self-harming and my eating disorder.

I wouldn't want her to, but then again, this is her bathroom and she's a ghost. That girl knows every piece of gossip within the castle possible.

"You know it." I reply quickly before running into a stall and emptying my guts out. By the fourth time, I feel so light I could faint.

"This isn't healthy you know." Myrtle comes up behind me with a toothbrush and toothpaste. I asked her to keep it here, safe just for me. If anyone found these things on my person, they were sure to get suspicious.

I take the two items and walk over to the sink. "I know. I can't stop."

Whilst I brush my teeth, she continues to talk to me. "Why not ask for help? You told me you have some pretty supportive friends?"

"I can't let them know." I answer, cleaning myself up. "It's not fair on them. Another thing they'll feel like they have to help me with."

"But you need help." She sighs. "You're killing yourself."

"Great." I smile at her. "I need to go."

"Harry." She quickly stops me. 

"Yeah?"

Myrtle glances down at my sleeve. "Your sleeve."

"Oh." I roll down my left sleeve. She thought I stopped. I hadn't done it in here in a while. "Sorry." I mutter and leave the bathroom.

Sometimes it's so much effort hiding everything. I wish I could stop.

I can't stop.