Burn (BWAM)

Burn

Songs for this chapter are:

Benson Boone- In the stars 

Avery Lynch- When it ends

Aquilo- Silhouette

Tom Odell- Another love

Olivia Rodrigo- Hope ur okay

Rita Ora- Only want you

James Bay - Peer pressure

It's that feeling you get that one time your a shitty person and months or years after that's when you realize what you've done was terrible. Well that's what I feel right now. I told him I wished he was dead and now there's a slight possible chance that he could be.

My heart thumps hard against my chest as Stephanie swerves in and out of traffic. She's more concerned and worried than I am and I don't blame her she clearly loves Titus and I don't think either of us can face the news that something bad has happened to our partners.

I dial Jade when the hospital in just in the distance to fill her in on what happened. Tears burn my eyes to roll down my cheek and the phone dials and it seems she won't pick up.

"Move the fuck out of the way!"

Stephanie yells at a car in front of us and I shut my eyes. Cars blow their horns loudly at her and she ignores them with her eyes focused on the wheel and her hands around the steering wheel and speeds down the slow lane in a hurry to the hospital and I can't get a hold of Jade.

"What else did the woman tell you?"

"Nothing that's it"

"Did she say if they were stable or anything?"

"No she didn't", I try dialling Jade again.

"I can't loose him Ivy. I love him so much", she sniffles and I keep my eyes on the road biting my lips.

"I know...they'll be okay"

Finally she answers and I almost cry into the phone.

*Jade?*

*Hey girl, is everything alright?*

*Enzo and Titus got into an accident and I don't know if their okay*

*Fuck what hospital*

*Hope*

*I'm sure they're fine I'm on my way*

I hang up and cover my eyes with my wrists trying to stop the tears that can't seem to go away. I don't know if he's okay and I just can't hear the words that he's dead I'll die if I do.

He's hurt me, he's said all that he could to ruin me but I love him. Even if its wrong even if he's terrible I love him with every atom in my being and every cell in my body and I won't live with myself if something bad happened. My last fucking words to him was I wish he was dead for God sake.

"Can you speed up", I ask Stephanie who's focused on the road.

"I'm trying!"

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. My lips tremble and I clutch my stomach as the tears leave me. I know he's an asshole but please don't let him be dead. I love him  so much and I can't loose him. He's an asshole at times but I can't live without hearing his stupid voice or watching him smile after he gets a reaction from me.

I do something I haven't done in a long time, I pray.

I take a few breaths and I pray to God to spare his life to make sure he's okay. I pray that he changes and we make it through this rough patch. If he's alive and safe I'll make us work. I'll look past our flaws and why we're bad for each other and I'll make us work, I'll try to be all he wants and make him happy I promise I'll do all that I can.