{ Dreamshade }

•Chapter 83•

The Lost Girl pulled her hood over her head and readjusted her cloak. Y/n looked around the camp. Pan was standing a few feet away from her observing the Lost Boys speaking to one another. She approached him slowly. Pan's head shot up as soon as she got closer to him. "Peter, I need to talk to you." Y/n blurted out. She spoke as if she was scared or frightened by something. He leaned his back against the tree. He looked at her worriedly. "What's wrong?" He asked her. He reached out his hands to grab hers. "Did you have a nightmare?" He continued, "I know I should've stayed with you." He added. Y/n shook her head as she brushed her thumbs over his. She looked into his green eyes. "It wasn't a nightmare." She tells him, "And I don't know if I should be scared by it or not." She added. Pan furrowed his eyebrows as he took a closer look at her. She wasn't frightened of the dream. She was scared of something else. "Y/n, you're scaring me." He tells him. Y/n inhaled deeply. "What is going on?" He repeated. She still looked at him frightened. She inhaled deeply once again. "There was a child." She tells him. "A child? Henry? On the island? How did it get here?" Pan rambled on. Y/n shook her head again. "No, it's not Henry. And it's not a child I saw on the island. Well, technically, it was on the island, but that's beside the point-" Y/n rattled. "Y/n!" Pan said in a warning tone. Y/n hesitated for a slight moment. "Peter I dreamt that we... uh... had a child." She said. As soon as those words left her mouth, Pan let go of her hands and leaned back against the tree. "A child." He said quietly. He turned around, leaning his arm against the tree, and pressed his forehead against it. He looked down at his feet. A child? "It was really strange. I was on the island and there was this little girl. She was calling out to me. And she came toward me and without hesitation, I picked her up. It felt very real, Peter." She tells him. "She had a dream about a child," Pan whispered again. Y/n took a small step closer to her boyfriend. He was still looking down at the ground. The Lost Girl placed her hand on his back. "Peter?" She said. He suddenly raised his head slightly. Y/n removed her hand again. His eyes were a lot darker than before. "Are you pregnant?" Pan asked her bluntly.

Y/n laughed quietly and shook her head. She placed her hand on his arm. "Of course not, Peter." She said. He turned around and slapped her hand away. Y/n looked at her boyfriend with a frightened expression on her face. "That's impossible, you know it." She said. He stepped closer to her. "Nothing's impossible. Are you pregnant?" He questioned. "I am not pregnant," Y/n assured him. The demon took another few steps toward her. Y/n slowly started to back up as he got closer. "But you want to be, don't you?" He asked her. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. "What?" She said. "You want a child, don't you?" He asked her. Y/n shook her head. "What? No!" She quickly replied. Pan suddenly grabbed her face with his hand. He held it very tightly, her skin was already turning red by his grip. "Do you want to have a child?" He repeated. Y/n tried to push his hands away. "Peter." She complained. But his grip only got tighter. "It's against the rules." He reminds her. "I do not want a child, Peter!" She exclaimed. "Then why did you dream it? Huh?!" He asked her. His voice was very rough and harsh. "I cannot control my dreams, Peter." She said. "Dreams can represent what you want most in life. Something you desire." Pan reminds her. Y/n just looked at him. "Is that what you want? Abandon me? Abandon all of us?" Pan asked her. Y/n shook her head. "Why would I want that? After everything? Do you think I would want to leave this place after all these years?" Y/n asked him. She managed to push away his hands as hard as she could. "I left everything a lot behind for you. I betrayed people I loved for you. Do you think I would leave all of that behind for a child I don't even want?" She asked him. Pan leaned down slightly to look at his girlfriend. "Do you, though?" He questioned. Y/n glared at him. "I do not want it." She tells him sternly. "You don't?" Pan asked her in a challenging tone. Y/n suddenly felt a lot of anger and rage entering her body. Was he being serious about all of this? Y/n shoved against his shoulders harshly. "What do you want me to say, huh?!" She yelled at him. 

She gained the attention of all the other Lost Boys that were not too far away from them. Y/n was very upset about all of this. She had always been loyal to Pan. She did everything in her power to keep him from losing his. To keep them all young and youthful. "You want me to say that I want us to grow up? That I want to move on?! No! I don't! I do not want that! You of all people should know that, Peter! I am terrified of death! I do not want to die, Peter. I don't. And I could never want that for anyone! I could not bear to see you or any of those boys there die because we're getting older. I want to stay young forever and I would never give that up, Peter. Never! Because we would all die if I did that. My own child!" Y/n yelled at him. Peter became silent. The Lost Boys had also stopped chatting with one another just to listen to their conversation. "So you want the truth? Yeah! Maybe I do want a child! But I would give it up to be here with you for the rest of eternity. I would give it all up." She adds. It became silent for a few seconds. "You asked me to tell you about him." He said quietly. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows slightly. "Malcolm was... a bad man." Pan started. Y/n listened patiently to the story, she had asked him so many times to tell. "He earned money by tricking people." Pan tells her, "And not a penny was spent on his son." He added. Y/n tilted her head slightly. "Why not?" She asked. Pan looked into her eyes. "Because he didn't care for him." He whispered, "He wasn't a father." He continued. The Lost Girl moved her hand into his hair carefully. Pan relaxed as he felt her fingers in his hair. "Was there no mother?" She asked him. Pan nodded slowly. "There was. But she risked everything to protect her son... She disappeared. Left him with a worm of a son." Pan explained to her, "A few years later, Rumple had gotten some magic beans. We used them to get here. We thought this was where we could start our new lives. Together. But Malcolm realized he wasn't happy. He could only be happy if his son was gone, so he could feel young again." He tells. "So you let the shadow take him away," Y/n said, filling in the blanks. Pan nodded in response. Y/n brushed her fingers over his arm resting on the side of the tub. "Do you regret it?" She asked him. The demon boy looked into her eyes. "No," he answered. He brushed his fingers over her soft cheek. "Because if I hadn't, then we would have never met." He tells her. Y/n smiled and brushed her nose against his. "What about the other woman?" She asked him. "Malcolm loved her. I don't." Pan assured her.

Pan remembered that moment as if it was just yesterday. It was more than just a talk. At least that's what it felt like to him. He loved her so very, very, much. But for some reason, right now, he wasn't able to feel that love. He felt threatened by her. He used his magic to make everyone around them fall asleep. Y/n looked at him in shock when all the Lost Boys collapsed and dropped onto the ground. She turned around and tried to run away. It didn't take long for Pan to use the same spell he used on the Lost Boys on her too. He caught her before she could hit the ground as well. "I'm sorry, baby," Pan whispered to her. He lifted her up in bridal style. He admired her face for a couple of seconds. But he wasn't able to love her. Not the same way he used to. Something had changed. Y/n had grown up.