A lot has changed during the winter break. Max and I broke up. Well, he broke up with me and how could I blame him? He was right, I lied to him a lot and he always forgave me, but he didn't on that last night in Abu Dhabi.
I hired a apartment in Monaco, Max actually paid for it, he still wanted to take care of me. We talked from time to time, most of the time he just asked how I was feeling and if everything was alright with the baby.
He grew much closer to Olivia, I saw them interacting on Instagram. I've heard she quit her job at F1tv so she wouldn't be around the paddock anymore, I was happy about that.
I didn't really know what else happened, I just knew that I was not welcome in the Red Bull garage anymore. Max made sure about that. I made up with Toto, so I could still chill in the Mercedes garage but I never felt really welcome in there, I wanted to be part of the Red Bull family. I talked to Lando a few times, he went back to Mclaren so he couldn't get me in there. I didn't know who would be Red Bull's second driver, Checo was probably returning.
I was laying down on my couch, scrolling through Instagram. Max just posted a picture, I was just staring at it. I missed him so much. I sighed, I got up and put my shoes on. He was home so I was just gonna go to him. I needed to talk to him.
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Maxverstappen1: preparing for next season 💪🏻
Liked by @LandoNorris, @Redbullracing, @Oliviaf1 and 649.830 others
@LandoNorris: your cat isn't impressed bro > @Maxverstappen1: she's my biggest fan tho @Redbullracing: ready to take the title back 🦁 @OliviaF1: CHAMP! 🧡 > @Maxverstappen1: 🧡 @user1: still expecting him to come to Mercedes. @user2: let's go Max! 🔥
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I knocked three times, it became our thing over the years. After a couple of minutes, he opened the door, he was sweating. Fuck he looked so hot right now. I had flashbacks of him laying on top of me sweating, moaning. "Rylee?" He snapped me out of my thoughts. "Yes sorry, I just wanted to wish you goodluck before you go to Bahrain" he opened the door a little more. "Thanks, you wanna come inside?" I nodded and walked in. Everything was still the same. He still had a few pictures of us, but most of them were gone. "I am sorry I was just working out" he put his hand through his hair, which was still a little wet. I just wanted to take off his clothes and pull him on top of me, but obviously I couldn't.
"So how are you?" I asked as we walked to the kitchen. He grabbed some water for the both of us. "Good, working out a lot, how are you?" He sat down on the kitchen counter and looked at me. "Good, just feeling a little useless" I had no job, I literally was just his baby mama and Toto's niece again. "How about your classes?" I shrugged my shoulders. I was still taking classes but I just wanted to work, I wanted to feel useful and I wanted to be close to him. "What about your old job at F1tv? Olivia quit so maybe you can go back?" I nodded. I would give birth in 4 months but maybe they would give me a chance again. "I can try" He nodded and smiled. I felt so clingy right now, he changed me so much, I used to go out, get drunk and hook up with random dudes but that all changed since I walked in the paddock for the first time.
I wanted to ask him about Olivia, they were sending each other hearts on Instagram and I couldn't hide my jealousy. I knew they hooked up last year and I knew Olivia was really into him. Max never told me how he felt about her, I just assumed he didn't like her but I was not so sure about that right now. "So I need to go back to training but promise me you'll keep me updated about how you're feeling?" He jumped off the counter and walked up to me, he pulled me in his arms. I could cry in that moment. His hugs reminded me of everything we shared.
The hiding from Christian and Toto, the fights with his dad, the secret touches when I was his PR manager, the times we had sex, how he kissed me in the middle of the paddock in front of Toto and his dad.
All those memories made me realize how good he was to me and how bad I was to him. I lied a lot, betrayed him and broke up with him to date someone else. I could only imagine how he felt when he saw me loving someone else. I was hoping I never had to see him loving someone else, it would break me.
