I Trusted You

Chapter 22.

Jasleena

The thing about Luka was that I felt good being around him. Like his positive energy overpowered my negativity, the simple fact that he had never made me feel uncomfortable was top notch. He never made me feel like he would push me too far. He would make me laugh in the weirdest of times. But as good as it had made me feel, I was just as scared. What if it was just a faze. What if he'd only be that good to me in the beginning and then change his entire being? What if he decided to use me, being that he had met me at such a broken state. At my most vulnerable point in life. But then what if he is always like that? What if he would have loved me, even as broken as I was. But who would love a broken person?

The first hour of that night we spent it laughing and it felt so good. We ended up having something to eat at the diner. Then we ended up at the movie theater. He took me to watch an action movie. Which I was really grateful for because I couldn't do any drama. Just my luck I would've left the theater sobbing. My life was too screwed up to watch a movie about love and betrayal. The movie ended twenty minutes ago and we were then standing next to each other in the movie's parking lot. "I hope you've had a great night Lily. Yup, it's Lily. I don't care what you say, that's what I am calling you. It fits you very well." He smiled, that big ol smile of his. "You can nickname me whatever you'd like, Luka." And I meant it, because it made me feel warm inside at the fact that he wanted to call me by a name no one else uses. It was pretty sweet. "Lily it is then." I gave him a small smile and nodded. "And to answer you, yes I did. I haven't had this much fun in a very long time. Is there anywhere quiet where we can go sit and talk?" I wanted to talk to him. He gave me that comfort. I don't know if I'm explaining it well but he made me feel like I could tell him I murdered someone and he wouldn't judge me. Not even a little bit, but crack a joke about it. "I know a place, did you want one of us to park one of the cars somewhere and car pool?" I nodded, "We can go in mine, but you drive." He smiled and nodded, "Sure thing, let's go. I live two minutes from this theater. Follow me and I'll leave my car home." I nod and head to my car to follow him.

We made it to his house, and what a beautiful house it is. The outside definitely looked bigger than the small apartment I'm in now. He locked his car and headed to mine. He got in and adjusted the seat, since he was a good foot taller than me. He was really handsome, fit but not too fit. Dirty blonde hair, chiseled jawline, plump lips, hazel eyes but more green than light brown, and did I mention those dimples. He is one handsome man. "Ready Lily?" I nod. He started the drive and there was a peaceful silence in the car. A good fifteen minutes later he pulls into a parking lot of what seems to be like a lounge. We went in and he said something to the person at the door that I didn't pay enough attention to hear and he started walking towards some stairs. I followed him all the way up to what seemed like a screened area on the roof. There must have also been heat coming from somewhere because it wasn't cold. The area was beautiful, there were hanging led lights everywhere and a few tables and chairs. There were also a few loveseats around. I chose to sit on the loveseat and closed my eyes, taking everything in. "This is beautiful and so peaceful." I heard him chuckle and make some movement but I didn't open my eyes. I felt the loveseat sink in a bit so I assumed he sat next to me. "How have you been, pretty lady?" I sighed, "I don't know. I've just been living day by day to be honest. I'm all messed up but I guess I'll heal eventually. You're an awesome guy Luka but I'm too messed up to ruin your life you know. You have such a positive personality that I don't want my negativity to ruin you. Why do you want to be friends with such a screwed up person..." I put my head down knowing I was close to crying. I couldn't understand why I could always just talk to him. I wondered if maybe, just maybe that was why I never text him back. I was too afraid to feel comfortable around him. To feel like I would open up and be vulnerable and be hit with something else again. I was afraid of a repeated cycle. Luka didn't seem like that but at a point in time I thought the same about Jacob. "Lily... I can care less that you think you're too broken for me. I'm not asking you to throw yourself in my arms and be the happiest girl ever. All I want is a friendship. At least for now..." He chuckled nervously, "I mean your are beyond beautiful Lily, but I have never had ill intentions towards you. If life is too dark let me help you light it up, that's all. As just a friend. And if God blesses me with a chance with you in the future then that'll be a bonus. But right now the focus is to get you to shine again. How does that sound?" Wow... What do you say to that? I was so scared. I was doubting myself really bad. I didn't think anyone would want to fight for me so hard. "Luka..." A tear ran down my face and he wiped it. "Luka... I can't promise I will be a great friend... Some days are better than others. Some days I'm ok and others I want to die... Some days I think I'm getting closer to feeling better and other days I feel like I look ten steps backwards. I am a mess and yes I want to get better. But I'm scared to trust again. I'm scared Luka..." He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around me and held me. I cried in his arms.