I Trusted You

Chapter 19.

Jasleena

The following morning I woke up before my alarm. I laid there for a bit and then got up and did my morning routine. I was done and ready for work early this morning. I grabbed my things and decided to go to the cafe and sit and drink my coffee before I had to be at work. I wasn't feeling my best but I was holding on. I got to the cafe, sat, ordered and waited for my coffee and croissant. I unlocked my phone and debated going through all the messages I had ignored. I caved and checked. Many were from Jacob and Paola, a few from my parents and Yaz. Then one from Lukas. I quickly replied to Yaz and my parents then went to read Lukas. "Good morning, pretty lady. I hope you have a great day. I know you want some space. So I'll only wish you a happy morning and day and leave you alone. " Such a sweetheart, maybe one day I will be a great friend back. But I was too broken to be anything. I quickly replied, locked my phone, finished up my food and drink, paid and headed to work.

On my lunch break I called my mom. It was nice to hear her voice. I didn't tell her about Jacob and Paola. I knew I would have to tell her sooner than later but at that moment I couldn't, I just needed a little more time. Because at then I wasn't even sure how I truly felt about everything and I knew that'd be her first question. Like how was I supposed to feel? What was I supposed to do? I had already cried my eyes out for most of the day. I knew it would all eventually hit me. I wasn't ok and I knew that but I wasn't sure I wanted to talk about it. Aside from speaking to Lukas I didn't want to talk to anyone who knew us all. Who knew how much Jacob and Paola meant to me...

On my way back home, my mind started wondering. Questioning everything and anything they have done for me. Were their intentions ever good? Or were they just using me the entire time. If Paola didn't get pregnant would they have even told me. Would he have continued to be my boyfriend and still messed around with her? Would he have continued to fall in love with her and fake his love towards me? Would he have been ok taking my virginity and still sleeping with her? How was she okay sleeping with him when she knew we did a few sexual things? I just wasn't understanding where anything was supposed to be ok. My mind kept asking questions that I didn't even want answers to because I was too afraid of those answers. I was afraid to know if their intentions were bad or if they didn't really care how I felt. They have broken any trust I had ever had on people. The two people I swore wouldn't do me wrong did. And it wasn't just him cheating with her but now he's the father to her child. And it all happened while still dating me. I just didn't want anything to do with them. And I just hope they respect that.

I made it home. I'm not sure how I had gotten there safely, because I did not remember the drive there. That's how clouded my mind was. It's like being in a daze and waking up later confused. I would usually cook dinner, clean up, do my night routine and read. But I didn't do half of that. I got home and went straight for a shower. After the shower I threw a big shirt on and went straight to bed. And that's how my days continued to be for some time. I ignored Paola and Jacob. After a week they had understood that I just didn't want to be bothered.