I Trusted You

Chapter 56.

Jasleena

I was woken up by someone entering the room. Luka was still asleep holding on to me. "Good morning, I am your nurse for this morning. I am just checking your vitals. In about an hour we will be taking you to go get your ultrasound done. If everything is good you'll get sent home later today." I nodded and nudged Luka a bit. He slowly woke up and realized the nurse was in the room. "I'm sorry." He said groggily, got up and sat on the sofa next to the bed. I smiled at him and turned to look at what the nurse was doing. She did everything she needed to. "You can order something to eat from the cafeteria, there is a menu on the side of your bed." I nodded, "Thank you." With that she left. It was only 7:30 am. I decided to send my mom a text, letting her know I didn't want anyone to come visit. That I would most likely be out later in the day. She responded and I put the phone aside.

"Good morning handsome." He had his head thrown back on the sofa. I wonder what time he fell asleep. He lifted his head and looked in my direction. "You can come back, you know. They aren't coming back in for another hour." He smiled, got up quickly and laid next to me. I loved when he held me that way. Wrapped his arms completely around me. "Lily..." He held me close. "Yeah?" He breathed me in, "How do you feel about all of this? You know how I feel but you haven't expressed your exact feelings." That was because I really didn't know how to feel.

I was happy because the baby is a blessing. I get to have a baby with my favorite person. Yes, it's really soon. But I love Luka and I know he loves me. But I am also sad. Sad that Paola lost her baby... yet there I was pregnant. Not even an entire month later. I mean it definitely was not planned. But I just feel really sad about it all. I'm also nervous and scared. How will I be as a mom? Will I truly be ready? Will the baby and Luka always love me? Will I always be enough? So many questions. So many feelings. "To be honest with you Luka, I don't know." He looked at me oddly. "Like yes I'm happy, excited and all that good stuff. Because like who wouldn't want to have a baby by their best friend, their love, their best boyfriend ever? But I'm also truly scared. What if I don't do this mom thing right? I barely have this girlfriend thing going." He chuckled, "Lily, you are perfect just how you are. The baby will love you forever and so will I." I gave him a sad smile. "I'm also really sad and feel so guilty." I felt my eyes getting watery. "I feel like it's unfair. How she lost her son. Now here I am, pregnant." He hugged me a little tighter. "She wouldn't hate you Lily. Paola loves you and would understand. This wasn't something planned, but it happened. I will always be here for you Lily. Through all of it. I'm ok with no one knowing until you speak with her. And if you need me there for support, I'll gladly accompany you. I love you Lily. And our little baby already." We laid there in a comfortable silence.