Come Back To Me

Chapter 23

January 1945

It had been a week since I heard anything about the Howling Commandos. I knew they were on a mission to capture Zola. Howard and I were needed in London at the SSR headquarters so we weren't able to stay and help them. I had just got off work and was now sitting in my apartment reading a book on the couch.

I heard a soft knock on the door. I frowned, confused at who would be coming by. I slowly opened the door, seeing Steve with nothing but sadness shown on his face. My stomach dropped because I knew what this visit was for.

"Where's Bucky?"

He stayed silent, shaking his head.

"Steven. Where is Bucky?" My voice began to crack.

"He-." Steve tried to compose himself but tears fell from his eyes.

I shook my head. "No. Don't you dare say it."

He finally met my gaze. "I'm sorry Riley."

I fell into Steve's chest and started to cry. This wasn't like what happened in Azzano. This was really happening. Bucky was gone, he was never coming home to me.

"P-please tell me t-this isn't real Stevie. I'm b-begging you." I could feel Steve's body shake as he cried with me.

"I'm sorry."

Steve carried me into the house, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the couch, sitting me on his lap while he told me about the accident. It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I would never see the love of my life again. Steve sat with me for hours trying to comfort me. I know he was in pain too, we both lost someone we love. I raised my face slightly so I could look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry Steve."

"Why are you sorry?" He sniffled, wiping his eyes.

"You lost your best friend."

Steve closed his eyes, nodding slowly. I rested my forehead against his cheek.

"We'll get through this together."

He hugged me tighter into his body. "We will."

_____________________________

I tried falling asleep but I tossed and turned for hours. I finally got out of bed, making my way to the guest bedroom. I opened the door quietly. I saw Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands.

"Stevie?"

He snapped his head to me, wiping away his tears. "Hey. You okay sweetheart?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to be alone. Can I sleep in here with you?"

He smiled, waving me over. "Of course. Come on."

He pulled the covers down, letting me crawl in first. He slid in next to me, opening his arms for me to snuggle against his chest.

"I don't blame you."

"You should Riley. I can't express how sorry I am."

"Don't do that. Bucky thought the world of you. He followed you into that fight because he believed in you. He died fighting for what was right. He wanted to help you save the world."

A tear slipped down his cheek. "He died a hero."

We both cried ourselves to sleep that night. I woke up the next morning feeling empty. I closed my eyes, picturing Bucky smiling and laughing. I turned to my side, seeing Steve was no longer beside me. I wiped away my tears, getting out of bed. I walked into the kitchen to see Steve, pouring a cup of coffee.

"Morning."

"Hey Riley." He handed me the cup. "Phillips called a meeting in a few hours."

"I don't know if I can do this."

Steve wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "You don't have to. They'll understand." He kissed the top of my head. "I promise I'll be back as soon as I can. Once this is all over, I won't leave your side."

I nodded, lifting my hand, holding my pinky out to him. "Pinky promise?"

Steve linked his pinky with mine. "Pinky promise."

He placed a kiss on my cheek. Steve opened the door before turning to look at me one more time. "Before he fell, Bucky asked me to tell you he loved you."

I smiled, feeling the tears fall in my eyes. 

"He loved you so much Riley."

"I know he did."

After Steve left, I found myself back in my bed staring at the ceiling. I closed my eyes, remembering the first time Bucky told me he loved me. I thought about the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me, even his touch was engraved into my memory. There are no words to express what I would give to have that back right now. We loved each other so deeply. I grabbed the dog tag that was hanging around my neck and looked down at my wedding ring.

"I love you so much." I whispered. I closed my eyes again, falling asleep hoping I would wake up and this would all be a terrible dream.