Breaking Habits: Redemptions

Chapter 22: Not Yet

"Wow that literally makes no sense." Max says while she watches the movie with Lucas, both of them sitting on the floor with snacks and two plates around them, their backs being leaned on the couch since they got tired of sitting on the couch, Max eating more of the fudge Lucas made.

"Makes perfect sense." Lucas says while he chews. "He decided to go in the box."

"But why would he go in the box if he knew he was going to be cut in half?" Max questions.

"Well technically speaking he didn't know." Lucas responds. "Because he lost his memory remember? He has short term memory lost."

"Well that sucks." Max shrugs simply while watching the movie, her chewing on her fudge. "You know what I think?"

"What?"

"Well for one you get way to technical when it comes to horror films." She quotes, him rolling his eyes with a smile. "And secondly I think every week you should make like a bulk of this fudge for me to eat during school."

"Only if you make a bulk of those good ass sandwiches." Lucas proposes.

"Alright I guess you have yourself a deal." Max says to him.

Lucas smiles at her, the movie ending and him turning his body to face her. "So....could we agree on something?"

"What's that?" She questions.

"That we do this often?" Lucas suggests. "Once a week starting off? Every Saturday, just hanging out?"

Max smiles at him softly. "I'd like that."

Lucas smiles brighter at her, him looking down a little. "Thank you Max. You honestly don't know what today did for me. I'm glad we are just able to hang out without it....being awkward you know?"

Max nods. "Honestly I was afraid of that." She admits. "But then I realized if it was awkward I would have been the one making it awkward because....you clearly explained how you felt....you know that night."

Lucas nods his head in understanding, a soft expression on his face. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Lucas you don't have to keep asking that to ask a question."

"Right sorry." Lucas lightly chuckles. "What were your thoughts? Like first thoughts that ran into your mind when I told you I loved you and I wanted you back?"

Max smiles softly, her looking down a little and playing with her hands. "It honestly came as a shock Lucas. I know you cared for me but I never really knew you felt that way about me after...it all you know." She admits. "But the more it ringed in my mind the more I knew of the mistake I made. Hearing your story it put so much into perspective for me, it made me realized that your behavior was...well because you were hurting, Lucas no one has been through what you have, and it is hard to relate to someone when....well you've been through something...not normal."

Lucas sighs a little with a nod. "Yeah that's the hard part I guess. Honestly Max there's like this....feeling inside of me. And I don't know how to let it go."

"What's the feeling?" Max questions.

"Dark." He shrugs a little. "Like.....something holding me. I don't know that's the best way I can describe it."

"Lucas you do know closure doesn't mean from just someone right?" Max questions. "Closure can be from a situation too, you need closure from what happened to you, I know that for a fact because that feeling you just described was the exact same feeling I felt after Billy."

"For so long I was holding onto my trauma, the memories filling me because I didn't know how to separate the hard thoughts from the happy ones, I didn't know how to balance my life and I didn't know how to put the thoughts behind me, really my mind was confused and didn't know what to do." She admits.