Collision || Lee Know

sudden point of view

"You what?" He asked. "I-I thought I should tell you before. I dunno, it's a chance that I might not-" He cut me off. "Taerim..have you already agreed?" I chewed on my lips before responding. "Well, not directly", "I told you I'll support you..but this, how would you possibly find it if I do it?" I deeply sighed. "Not that pleasing," I said. "Right," he remained silent. "Fine, I-I won't do it." Why was I stuttering? It was sports underwear, literally not that revealing. I was overreacting. He was maybe too. I have no idea. "I mean.." he deeply inhaled. "Do you even feel comfortable with it? Do you really wanna do it? And I mean our of your own interest." I fidgeted with my hand. "I, I think I wanna try," I spoke, rather unsure. "There is no trying. Once it's out, you can't prevent it. Who even suggested you so?" I swallowed. "Some sort of advisor. They work for the agency I'm currently under," I responded.

"Your body is yours. You are always the first one who has to like it, and once you do, comments saying otherwise won't hurt you that much anymore. I'm afraid that..that people opinions might affect you and you'll eventually feel insecure. You're just eighteen..I don't feel too well with other people seeing it. I just don't want you to feel worthless at the very end." I bit my lip, suppressing any emotion. "Take a thought through career and yeah, try things..but only try those things in which you're actually interested in. No one can force you for doing that photoshooting and I'm not gonna forbid you either, because yeah..at the end it's your body." A tear rolled down my cheek. "I know," I mumbled. "Thanks for understanding", "You're beautiful. Everything about you is. I enjoyed the fact that I got to have such person only to myself. No one ever wanted to see all that before and I honestly felt sorry for them. I always thought you had nothing to hide, nothing at all. I still think so...just so you know. I'm trying to support you through out everything." I wiped my tears away. I didn't know why his words affected me so much out of sudden. "Minho," I started. "Mh?", "I think I need to sleep a night about it," I confessed. "Do that. And make up your mind carefully about it."

I hung up, slowly lowering my phone.
I was always confident, but me myself has always been my worst weakness. I said I never care what people think but it deep down..I'm my worst enemy when it comes to myself. What I think of myself affects me the most. I wish I could just shut up doubting so much, but I guess it comes naturally.
If someone says I was pretty, I'll say thank you and value it...but it doesn't change anything of how I think of me. My opinion always counts the most no matter what. I'm a negative thinking person and I really hope I could see me the way my favourite persons do.

_

"You're really pretty." Akari analysed my body through the mirror. Her hand trailed over my shoulder to caress it. "It's like you're wearing a bikini and nothing more. We were all born naked, everyone has seen something like this before," she encouraged. I weakly smiled before going in to hug her. She first stayed stiff before barely applying touch back into the hug. I was comfortable with her, though, no matter what.
I backed off. "Now, go out. You got this girl." I huffed a bit. "Yeah, that's the smile I wanna see. Wow, my best friend is honestly gonna be so successful and loved..that's what she deserves." I pouted "Stop, don't even thinking of crying now." She turned me around by my shoulders, sending me forwards.

The set was mostly filled with women. They reassured me that there would be no men in direct action with me, so girls wouldn't feel uncomfortable doing it in general. It was making me feel less nervous.
My favourite stylist approached me once again. "Let's just make sure your makeup sits right." She used a brush to fix it. I sighed, scanning my surroundings. "You're really pretty. I can only tell you again." She gave me a smile, which I returned immediately. "Thank you", "Good luck. I'll be there watching you," she held her thumbs up.

"Kim Taerim," a woman pointed at my wrist. "Please take it off for the shoot." I scanned my bracelet. I always wear it, knowing it's from him. I feel like he's still here with me whenever I have it on. I hesitately brought my hand up, removing it. My eyes searched for Akari in order to give it to her, but another woman was faster to take it. "Please take good care of it," I told her.