Collision || Lee Know

stages of forgiving you

Taerim's POV

I woke up due to a too warm night. My body started to overheat, even though I don't remember having a blanket over me at the moment. It was body warmth from a person I could notice right away by the touch and scent. His hands had a hold on me, more likely my back. They felt warm, not sweaty, but softly warm. His upper body against mine was on the verge of making me sweaty, though. Especially his legs, which completely trapped me with him, unable to make me get out.

During the night my shirt must've moved up a lot...like actually a lot, that I was basically just laying on top of him with underwear and the longer I thought about him touching me the way he was, my body felt even much hotter. Last night...blurry memories somehow, I only remember that I had fun, which is want counts I guess. After that, I only remained in a tired state somehow. I sighed, supporting both of my hands on each side of him. I had to break free out from his touch. I was craving proper air to breathe in and feel. I tried my hardest not to wake him up.

I checked my phone screen while discovering a balcony leading to a pretty view. "7:30, what?" I rubbed my eyes, noticing my husky voice. "I really need water."

I scanned his kitchen, ending up using the the tap water to pour me in a glass. The cold liquid felt refreshing running down my throat. It was this feeling you get when drinking cold water at 3 am, which somehow tasted the best.

After about ten minutes of just cooling down a bit, I headed back into the bedroom. He's still sleeping deeply. If I memorise rightly, he told me he was tired yesterday. I sat down on the edge of the bed before laying down onto my back. I hope I'm even able to fall back asleep. I heard him letting out a heavy breath, moving. "You awake?" I quietly questioned, but got no response in return. I at least thought so. A hand got a tight grip around my inner thigh, pulling me against him. I inhaled sharply as his hand stayed placed under it, wrapping it around his waist. He made me lie for his chin to be able to rest on top on my head, that I was able to to fully burry my face into the crook of his neck. "Let's stay like this for a bit," he mumbled with a raspy voice. I froze at his touch on my bare leg and the way his other arm was wrapped around my waist. How could I possibly stay like this. You tell me?

I just nonchalantly hugged him back.

Wait..yesterday. The party, it was fun, no doubt. I was acting strange, singing a lot, that's why my throat felt so dry this morning. I remember Minho bringing me safely back here, and afterwards, I obviously went to sleep, but there must be a detail I'm missing out. I felt like I had already fallen asleep while arriving here. I wasn't by my senses in many ways. I opened my eyes halfway, staring forward with a small frown. "Minho, are you awake?" I whispered, but no response. I sighed, letting my head sink into the pillow again.

Oh, shit.

I was going for it, wasn't I?
I was! No, I must have dreamt it. My comments too. I visually could cry right now. 'Why do you end up only pleasing me?' No idea if those were exactly my words, but it was going in that sort of direction. I must've been out of my mind. Well yeah I was, but still. I was ready to have it. I was afraid he might not want it after suggesting it so often before. I was acting totally out of frustration or hurry. I'm glad he made me stop, and I'm not glad that he even had to stop me in first place. I clearly made him uncomfortable, how can I face him? Maybe he also forgot? No way, that couldn't be the case. It's not really what I think, it's mistaken..he must be mistaken now. But I also don't want to mention this again, as long as he won't. "Hm?" I finally received the response. "What? Uhhh...nothing. I think I'll..I" I took a deep breath. "I think I'm gonna stand up. I need to..uhm, pee."

'Don't let anyone else touch or kiss you the way I do' I rubbed over my face by my words. The cold water may have cooled down my red face, but wasn't helping with regret.