Collision || Lee Know

finally with you

With the last words of his, I began to wait. I eventually let him eat dinner home at Christmas, not waiting for him to arrive as we ate ours. Seo-ha didn't show up that day. He had really moved back and what bothered me the most, was that I never got to properly say goodbye to him. I texted him, but he had told me it'd be for the better if we kept distance at first. I was so overwhelmed with his last confession that I regretted not getting to return any nice words. I wanted to be with Minho on New years, even if he said something else. I called him after questioning whether to do it or not for entire days. Jisung picked up instead, saying Minho didn't feel well and just kept staying in bed. I insisted to check up on him since he had already been in that state once he left, but I heard Minho decline, so I let it be. I thought it would be our last chance though. Not for forever, but for that year. So when I heard about his flight taking off, I ran out of my house literal ten minutes before the boarding was supposed to take place. Right, I did think I lost my mind that day, but it didn't matter. No matter what was between us that time, I wouldn't have let him leave without a proper goodbye. The only thing I was able to do, was wave towards him as there was no turning back around no more for him. He gave me a gentle smile, followed by this frown which intented to show how bad he felt for doing this. But I didn't care. I told myself I'd wait even longer. And I did..

One year later. 30th of april

"Happy birthday dear Taerim. Happy birthday to you~" I clapped my hands together before blowing out the candles on the cake. "Thank you." Ji-kyoung ruffled my hair. "When did our little annoying Taerim grew up that much?" I glanced at him. "I can still throw a fist at you, you know?" Akari held her present in front of my face. "It's from me.. I mean, us." Right.. I still couldn't believe it. It was a random night last year when Lee Hye-won asked me to come over to that one club again. We haven't been hanging out in a while and even though I had been kind of distancing myself from all that influencer drama and party life, I thought I should really meet up with her again. Akari was with me that time, so I asked if I could bring her along. I knew Akari had told me about how attractive she had found Hye-won the moment I told her she asked me to hang out with her once. I thought this would be the chance. Hye-won had opened up not too long ago about this romance she had going on which caused a whole wave of public hate towards her, so that she thought dating would never be alright again. I knew both of them could possibly work out, so I just had to. Akari had no idea that she liked girls though, which had made the situation quite awkward I admit. Still they exchanged numbers and just while I looked away once, these two held hands you could say. I couldn't be happier. For Akari and Hyewon. I mean, both of them obviously hated the fact that they had to keep it a secret from public, but they still wouldn't dare to let go off each other, which had be gaining whenever I saw them together. 

I smiled, reaching out to take the present. "Thank you so much." Right, I was happy.. It was a great birthday. People I loved came. They all appreciated me. But- I turned towards the door which opened. It's not like he wasn't one of the people I wished to be here right now and I'd lie when saying there wasn't a part of me hoping it'd be him entering, yet a hint of disappointment was written over my face. "Seo-ha.. It's you."

"I don't even know if I have the right to say happy birthday right now and act as if nothing happened," he spoke once we settled on the bench in front of our restaurant. "Well.. Didn't you already say it?" I mumbled, chuckling awkwardly. "I guess," he shared the smile. "I wanna ask how you've been, but on the other hand I have been keeping up through social media. Congrats.. You've accomplished quite a lot." I gave him a short glance, nodding. "My mom often watches you and feels proud that I knew you. She always hisses at me how I didn't stick with you." He threw me off guard with that statement, so I faced him sincerely. "Your mom," I repeated stupidly as of I didn't understand. "Hm, don't worry.. What I had told you last time happened ages ago. She's healing.. And I have been as well. It sucked what I did last time. I didn't even attempt listening to your part.. I've been regretting it. Though-" I completed his sentence instead. "You're not gonna apologise for it?" He chuckled at the fact that I knew him too well by now. "Right.. I won't. But if it makes you feel better I'll tell you I'm over you.. So you don't push me back instantly." I turned towards him within a second. "Seo-ha.. I've really missed you, you know? It wasn't funny what you did, but pain in my ass. I hate how you've gotten so important to me without me noticing before I simply let you leave." His eyes switched in between mine before he formed a gentle smile. "Minho would kill me if I dare to hug you now." Minho wasn't here.. Though if he had been, I would still let Seo-ha hug me. I didn't know how he was, but I know that he'd be pretty much aware that I only felt something during it with him and no one else. "Then I'll hug you. He'd have to get past me first." It was a short and careful hug. One you give your friends as a greeting. Simple and friendly.. Just as it should be between us. Just like we will be. Friends. I won't let him just leave again. Something felt empty. "But he's not here today, right?" He dared to mention, so I shook my head. "He can't just quit the studying process. He'll be finished next year though. Then he'll come back," I told him. "And you're waiting?" It was nearly as if he was amazed. I nodded. "All the way.. Even though it hurts."