Collision || Lee Know

smarter than revenge

Minho's POV:

She tightly hugged me, resting her head on my stomach. In general, she was all cuddled up, making herself almost the smallest I've ever seen her. Since one hour I've been scrolling through my phone, reporting each hate comment she received, so their accounts. She'd never see those again.

"Mh," a frown spread across her forehead. I rubbed her arm, removing hair out of her face.
Her eyes travelled up to me, squinting. "Ah, my heads aching," she mumbled with a raspy voice. I got a grip around her, helping Taerim to sit up straight.
"Let me get you water," I insisted, but felt her hand squeezing mine. "Wait," she covered her mouth, swallowing. "Oh," I spoke, fastly pulling her into the bathroom.

As soon as we arrived, she dropped onto her knees in front of the toilet. In moments like these, I was glad I had her hair tie around my wrist. I gently pulled it back, tying it together. My hand reached out to caress her back. I wanted to cover my ears just by the sound of her being unwell. It reminded me of myself.. When it all started. My body was reacting the same way...It all had to get back out. It was telling me to stop on time and I can clearly see that she still has a chance to do so too. I will prevent any further pain which could make her think to continue.
Her body rested against mine, leaning back. I gave her a warm back hug, rubbing carefully over her tummy.
"I'm sorry," she spoke. "Hm?", "for making you worry so much," she said. "You deserve to be worried about." I only received a hum. "Taerim, I'm there if you wanna talk. Don't think that there are other solutions. It's what you advised me, right? Just like you'll be there for me, I'll be there for you too."

_

"You like it?" My eyes filled with hope seeing her slurp down the soup I made. "It's good," I weakly smiled. "That's good." I tucked a string of hair behind her ear. She lowered her spoon. "Min," she started. "People think I'm using you." My expression turned neutral. "It's because of our..different position. Someone spread things about me," she scratched her arm, not keeping eye contact. "Who? Who was it?" Taerim shrugged. "I'm not quite sure", "It's bullshit, what they say. If they really think that, then you're gonna prove them wrong. Don't let anyone talk bad about you and don't let them get away with it and leave you upset behind. Come on, you always stayed strong," I told her. "Exactly.. I always managed to. But it's getting tiring, you know? At some point, I can't take it anymore. I've always been told the same stupid shit and honestly, honestly.. I always tried to avoid it, trying to prove me wrong, but it's the truth after all." She locked eyes. "We don't have too much money. Yeah, now I start to actually own something..but my past is gonna haunt me. People don't like it, people lose interest and then it means less money for me. And it all comes back to my background.. It will never leave me alone, no matter how much I try to not live under it. People always care where you come from. But I guess you know that." I went through my hair, leaning back. I tried coming up with something to say, but nothing else than a small "fuck" came out. "This is simply unfair." I wanted to help her, but I only felt powerless. I can only stay by her side and support her if she still wants to keep going. But the worst was, I'll be gone in less than a week and won't be there to comfort or simply be there for her.

"And I was actually having fun too," she huffed to herself.

Taerim's POV

"I may be making a big mistake now," I confessed after starting the live. More people joined each second.
"Well, I guess after all, people just really are curious. But it's okay, it's the world we live in these days. When someone's owning things, other people crave it too. When one person is having fun and gets treated nicely, the rest easily gets jealous. When people are unhappy with themselves, they simply start to hate, blaming someone who has nothing to do with it. Everything we do is a competition, some are great in this, some in that... but there are just people who can't handle not winning. It's true, being the Loser always means you're less wanted and after some time people forget about you. When people are in that state, they feel capable of doing stuff they've never done before. They think they can allow themselves things which they never did. Meanwhile, the winner is up there, not seeing what's happening one place lower, until the Loser eventually attacks and gets their revenge. Revenge brings you into a state where you're ready to risk everything just to achieve what you wanted. People have several reasons to get to the first place, so do they when getting their revenge...but what makes the difference is...that the intention some people seem to have harm others mentally, meanwhile the other person is not willing to even participate at the competition which involves winners and losers. We've all been there at some point..hating how others are better than ourselves. How they own more, have more fun, seem to be wanted...I know how it is and that's what makes me so upset that people are using the option of dealing harmful with it. I was the last person who ever expected someone to fight over my first place...since I've never been there before. Simply said, I'm not different from anyone else who's watching this right now. I don't want to lie saying I own, have fun or have been popular before everything happened. And especially now that I could actually gain such things, people are upset about it. They are upset that the Loser they used to know can actually win a competition for once. I'm not asking anyone to pity me, instead I wanna show that even people who come from poor or suppressing conditions can achieve something. And exactly that should be what's encouraging and motivating you. I never had the intention to make anyone hate me, but simply wanted to let people know that you can be anything you want, no matter what position you're in. I have someone I love, a lot. I could never imagine to go through something without him and I honestly never thought I'd deserve to date him in first place.. I value him as a person and not for any amount of money. I'm happy, and I hope that everyone here can find someone like that too, and isn't going to be judged for it. I can also achieve and even gain a lot more, but what maybe makes me different is that I'm doing it for fun and to actually make something out of me..because sadly I was influenced by all the people I wanted to be. Just how you guys are watching me now, I've watched other people.. I hope I can still be someone you look up to and not down regarding my position."
I took a deep breath.
"Thanks for listening."