Collision || Lee Know

missunderstood

I pulled the blanket over me, leaving most of it to him. I stared at the ceiling. He really isn't awkward after it at all. Of course he isn't, he was enjoying my weakness way too much. "Aren't you tired?" He questioned, moving onto his side to face me. "Not yet, but I'll manage to sleep," I responded, swallowing.

A moment of silence passed before I spoke up. "I don't..." I started. "I don't know if I heard it right earlier... What you said you know." He probably had no idea what I was referring to, but I was too uneasy to bring it directly onto the point. "I told you, you're beautiful Taerim." I felt my cheeks heating up. I went to face him as well. "Why are you thinking this way about me... I never really went to you before you did. Always used to push you away, told you how annoying you are. Yet you say and do those things, that I eventually couldn't help to like you. I don't know what's real anymore, between us... I still let it happen, somehow." He avoided eye contact for a second. "Every girl I've dated begged for me... for my attention and for being with them. They made themselves look prettier, flirted with me, even paid me to sleep with them. It was all interesting at first, but after some time I kept getting bored of each of them. Every day the same acts, the same words and same touches. I didn't even need to start anything first because they always were faster in making a move. They weren't shy, they just went for it, knowing I don't mind it. I've been watching you for a short period of time before talking to you. You just seemed to first catch my attention somehow. You didn't beg me to be with you either. I found it cool how you were playing basketball and the way you tied your hair up to not annoy you. You didn't even try to impress me in any way, yet you did and so I thought 'why not going for something new?' You seemed like a different type of girl. I first thought it would be fun to see if I could get at you. I guess I was just curious and...bored," he stopped talking.

"And afterwards, are you still doing it because you're curious and bored? Be honest, are you gonna leave me once I start to get too boring for you too? Because let me warn you... There aren't a lot of exiting things about me. My attitude has always been something I hated about myself. The way I'd see everything negative firstly or the way I'd reject signs of affection immediately. The fact that you seem to like those things about me only proved that you were searching for someone like me to get to stay by your side. Because people like me are mostly the hardest ones to get at, but once you did, you'll eventually feel trusted by that person. You're lonely. In fact you wanted attention through me, you wanted to beg for it in order to not feel like no one will listen to you. I wasn't the one who needed someone who won't leave me, you were." I thought about him that way since I got to know about his mom wanting him to take over the company. His whole wall he's trying to build up to protect his inner self, is just a fake imagine of him feeling confident and like he's enjoying life to the fullest. When honestly, he can't stand himself. He doesn't want people to get too close to him, but also doesn't wanna be alone. Someone to give him the affection he doesn't get, until they might be too close to him.

His expression fell as he kept switching in between my eyes. How does it feel to be the one who's now looking weak? Not pleasant, am I right? But I only felt sorry. I waited for him to say anything, but he suddenly turned onto his back. "Think of it as you want Taerim. Think of me weak or strong. But after all, I wasn't completely wrong. You're also lonely and don't receive enough love. So don't turn the the whole thing around. Don't forget you're part of this too." He knows how I feel. He somehow feels the same, thinking we'd be similar so I'd understand him better. 'Don't act like you were affected by what she said' that's probably what he's thinking.

I looked at him, closing his eyes as he rubbed over his forehead, letting out a sigh, before he went to completely turn around. Now I only had his back left to look at. "Minho," I spoke up. "I know I'm lonely too. But I got to meet nice people who I know will be there if I need them. Believe me, no one thinks of you as weak for having and sharing emotions. It's human," I whispered since it was quiet in the room already. "Everybody has their own view on this. But I'm not lonely, though. The only thing I feel empty about is that you ain't hugging me," he mumbled. What a sleek way of forming this sentence into one that actually meant the fact that he was waiting for me to choose his side.
"You turned away though," I murmured to myself, moving my body forward against his back. I wrapped my arm around his stomach, burying my face into his neck from behind. I fell asleep faster than I thought I would.