I would prepare some tissues. I am so so sorry.
-
He was anxious.
Very anxious.
"Babe, are you okay?" Yunjin asked.
"Uh, yeah, I just thinking about Min and Sung," Felix said.
"How are they? How is Jiyeon?"
"All good. Jiyeon has to be in the NICU for a bit, because she's 14 weeks early,"
Yunjin hummed and put her coat on, "That has to be traumatic especially for Jisung,"
Felix nodded, "He thinks that he did something, but even that doctor said that it just happens," he muttered.
"Lix, are you sure you're okay? I can stay if you aren't feeling good,"
"I'm fine. Hyunjin is actually going to be here in a little. We are going to visit his grandmother,"
"His grandmother?"
Felix nodded, "His mom is in Paris right now, she'll be back next month. After we visit his grandmother he is go to take me to the cemetery so I can switch on the flowers,"
Yunjin nodded, "Okay, I will be back tonight for dinner. We can order in,"
"Okay, love you,"
"Love you,"
Yunjin left and Felix's thoughts consumed him.
He took a couple deep breaths and rubbed his palms on his legs.
"I'm fine," he whispered.
He pressed his lips together as they felt tingly. His cheeks warmed up.
Standing up he blinked a couple times as his eyes began to burn.
Standing up he rubbed his hands together. His fingers felt cold. He tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, but it wouldn't go away.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he heard the door open.
Turning around he put a smile on his face, "Hey, love," he greeted.
Hyunjin smiled, "Hey, you ready to go?"
"Uh, I just need a minute,"
Hyunjin's brows drew together when saw how red Felix looked.
"Angel, are you okay?" Hyunjin asked.
The younger nodded, "I just need to make sure I have everything,"
The brunet's eyes travelled down watching the way the blond was wringing his hands.
Getting a little closer, he held Felix's hands.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"I… I just- something just doesn't feel right," Felix stammered.
"What do you mean? Is it about the baby?" Hyunjin questioned, reaching to touch Felix's stomach, only for the younger to flinch away.
He pursed his lips, "With us?"
Felix's eyes darted around Hyunjin's face just trying to focus, but his mind was so cloudy. Cloudy with doubts, cloudy with worry, just cloudy.
"Are you now happy anymore?"
"I don't… I don't know," Felix answered.
Hyunjin let go of Felix's hand. He was cold again, empty.
Hyunjin pursed his lips and took a breath, "Do you want me to leave? Will that make you happy?"
"Yes… No… I don't… I don't know," Felix said.
Hyunjin sighed, "What do you want, Felix? Talk to me,"
"I want you to be here. I need you to be here. I just— I don't know anymore,"
"What do mean you don't know? Either you want me here or you don't," Hyunjin stated.
"I… something just doesn't feel right. Something doesn't feel okay," Felix said, tears welling in his eyes.
"What doesn't feel okay?"
Felix shook his head, "I just don't feel right,"
Hyunjin closed his eyes and took a breath, "I should have known that this was a bad idea,"
Felix's brows furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"Felix, you're young, you don't know what you want,"
The younger blinked a couple times. He fingers began to scratch at his wrist.
"I know what I want. I'm also twenty-five not eighteen,"
"Exactly, you're twenty-five dating your thirty-two year old law professor. You're confused not in love," Hyunjin said.
"Don't tell me how I feel," Felix stated.
"Maybe, us trying was a mistake,"
"Hyunjin,"
"It was a mistake, Felix,"
"Then what about the baby? What are we going to do?"
"Why don't you talk to Andrew Park? Because the math does add up,"
Felix scoffed, "Fuck you. Honestly, fuck you, Hyunjin,"
"It's a possibility,"
"No, because the only person that I have never used protection with is you. The night at the hotel we didn't use it, the night of the recital we didn't use it, the night after either,"
"But how can I be sure of that? Because you were with Andr6e, then Declan, and before Declan I don't know," Hyunjin questioned.
Tears finally fell from Felix's eyes. His right hand drop to his side, the wound on his left hand from scratching stinging and staining his sweater red as it came in contact with it.
"If this relationship was a mistake and you don't believe me when I say that I know that you are the dad, then we need to break up, and you need to get the fuck out and don't come back,"
"Are you serious?"
"You basically called me a slut and a lair in three minutes, while also simultaneously accusing me of doing essentially what your ex tried to do. Yes, I am serious, get the fuck out. I rather raised this baby by myself than with you and have you doubt if they are yours," Felix stated.
"Fine,"
Not a word was exchanged as Hyunjin left.
When he was gone Felix broke.
Tears rolled down his cheeks never ending.
His knees made harsh impact to the floor, he fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket.
He shakily dialled Yunjin's number.
"Felix?"
"Yunjinnie," Felix whispered.
"Felix? Why are you crying? What happened? Where are you?" She asked.
Felix took a deep breath trying to calm himself, but it only led to him letting out some cries, "…can you come home please? I… I really need you here,"
"Yes, yes, I'm on my way back,"
Felix said a small thank you and hung up.
He hugged his stomach and cried harder.
It's all my fault.
The End;
