Jiraiya Sages into DEATH BATTLE!

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by GamerLightwarrior

by GamerLightwarrior

Shadow: Among the ninja of the Hidden Leaf Village, few are quite as impressive as Naruto Uzumaki.

Zero: You might call me a crazy person for thinking that this little twerp would actually be the best of the best but you'd be surprised, Naruto not only saved his village, battled alien gods, reformed some bad guys with some Talk no Jutsu, but after he and his best pal Sasuke ended the Curse of Hatred he became the ninja president known as the Hokage.

Shadow: But he never would've been able to do any of this without his training under the dynamic Toad Sage and Legendary Sannin this was Jiraiya the Gallant.

Zero: Legendary huh? Shadow are you sure about that cause it sounds like to me he's just an old perv.

Shadow: Uh, well, don't let his... ahem, crude demeanor fool you.

Zero: Dude I fight Mavericks every day is there literally anything that you've seen that we Maverick Hunters don't see? Like come on man we've seen worst than that.

Shadow presses a button that shows a female human naked version of him on the TV screen that poses in smoke like Naruto's Sexy Jutsu. Zero bleeds out from the nose in surprise.

Zero: WHAT THE FU-

The screen then turns to static before showing a "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES" card with a passed out Zero on the ground.

After a few seconds, the screen turns to static again before we cut back to the analysis.

Zero: Ummmm, anyway... Jiraiya originally learned the shinobi way from the Third Hokage, who taught him how to use his chakra to do ninja magic.

Shadow: Similar to ki, chakra is a form of life energy. In Hindu and Buddhist theologies, chakras are, in simplistic terms, gates within the human body which can be embraced to achieve enlightenment. However, in the world of Naruto, chakra is used to perform amazing ninja techniques called Jutsus.

Zero: And there are 3 kinds of jutsu, Ninjutsu obviously ninja elements, Genjutsu makes your brain see things that are actually not real, and Taijutsu punches people and that's it moving on.

Shadow: Jiraiya mastered as many styles as he could, and even learned one of the greatest Ninjutsu attacks out there, the Rasengan. With this, he gathers his chakra into a spinning orb of death modeled off the ultra destructive Tailed-Beast Bomb, and that thing can wipe out a whole village all at once! And on the weird side, he can sharpen his Twisted Sister mane into a shield like a porcupine and fire the hairs out like a needle gun.

Zero: Possessing a keen and mischievous mind, Jiraiya spent plenty of time developing brand new techniques, such as the invisibility jutsu, which you'd think would be perfect for stealth or assassination missions, but he actually developed it specifically for... uh...

Shadow: Yeah I think every single person with 1 precent of their brain cells pretty much gets the situation especially his inspiration when writing a novel.

Zero: Yeah that one does not need an explosion there.

Shadow: Clearly, Jiraiya sometimes took his tinkering a bit too far. On one such occasion, he accidentally teleported himself to a mystical land full of giant, talking toads. After befriending the toads, Jiraiya trained under the sage Fukasaku.

Zero: Where he learned a bunch of Fire Release techniques, like the Toad Oil Bullet and Flame Bullet attacks. Now that's one impressive loogie! Too bad he probably plans on using that for his "research".

Shadow: I don't even wanna imagine that.

Zero: Honestly does the World of Naruto have the internet? Because if he wanted to do his research he could've easily just go online or find an R-rated magazine to find some beautiful super hot chicks there.

Shadow: Speaking of super hot chicks come back next as we go over Jiraiya's opponent Murata Himeko.