One of the Boys 1 & 2 (Published by Pop Fiction)

Chapter Forty Three

Chapter Forty Three

Last year pa lang, pinaplano na namin mag summer sa province nila Bri, pero hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o malulungkot dahil hindi kasama si Apa. Sila ang magkakaibigan, pero ako ang kasama nila at hindi si Apa.

The last I saw him was that night. That night when he slept in our house.

*FLASHBACK*

"Hindi na ba talaga pwede? Ayaw mo na ba talaga sa akin? You let me hug and kiss you. Your eyes, body, and lips... They're all saying you still want me. You still love me."

His eyes were closed, but I knew he was not sleeping.

"Just sleep. Stop talking."

Kahit nakabukas yung aircon, pinagpapawisan pa rin siya. Kanina ko pa pinupunasan pawis niya with my hand. Pinagpapawisan rin ako dahil ang hirap niyang bihisan kanina.

Sobrang kulit niya. Kinikiliti ako, hinahalikan, yinayakap, at biglang magdadrama tapos tatawa ulit at mangungulit. Nababaliw na siya at nababaliw na rin ako dahil sa kanya.

Inasog ko yung sofa papunta sa tabi ng kama kung saan siya nakapwesto at doon ako umupo. Unlike other men na haggard pag heartbroken, malinis pa rin mukha niya. Mukhang kakashave lang niya. Medyo pumayat nga lang siya. Sabi ni sister Doms, pag stressed si Apa, pumapayat talaga siya.

I just stared at him. Kahit naghihilik na siya, I was still staring at him. I took a picture of him, pero nakalimutan kong alisin yung sound kaya dahan-dahan siyang dumilat. Inalis ko agad yung phone ko at tinago.

He narrowed his eyes. "Did you take a picture of me?" Mukhang sober na siya.

I shook my head.

He smirked. "Oo nga naman. Why would you?"

Hindi ko na kinaya kaya nag-salita na ako. "Oo."

He opened his eyes again.

Without any expression, I said, "Yes, I took a picture of you. Yes, I still love you. I love you, that's why I'm doing this."

Yes, it hurts. It hurts big time. Gusto ko na lang maging manhid.

"Believe me, I'm trying so hard to understand, but I can't."

"I don't blame you. I don't care if you understand me or not. I just can't do this anymore. Sorry, Apa. Please stop making it hard for the both of us." Humiga ako sa sofa at nagtulug-tulugan na.

Great. I hurt him again.

When he thought I was already sleeping, he carried me carefully to my bed, and whispered, "Sorry." Kinumutan niya ako at hinalikan sa pisngi. Ilang minutes pa, may naramdaman na akong basa sa mukha ko.

Pinunasan niya yung luha sa cheek ko. "I'm really sorry."

When I woke up, it was already 5 in the afternoon. Sa study table ko, may mga plato na nakacover. Pag-alis ko ng cover, ang daming pagkain. May sticky note rin na ang nakasulat ay:

Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Eat well.

*END OF THE FLASHBACK*

Hindi na siya nagpakita 'nun. Balita ko, iniiwasan niya ako. Maraming nag sabi sa akin 'no. Akala ba niya, siya lang ang may connections? Pag daw nag-aaya sila at kasama ako, hindi siya sumasama.

When asked why, ang sagot lang daw niya, 'Busy ako eh. Next time na lang, pre.' Sumuko na rin mag tanong sila Tigs, Bri, at Paz sa akin kung anong nangyari dahil hindi ko rin naman daw sasabihin.